The crew of Voyager find a Wii floating in the Delta quadrant, manage to hook it up, and get assimilated while playing Wii bowling for the 50,000th time....
Pitch terrible ideas for episodes
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hellsgate
Commodore
Calhoun's "Seven Of 69" (Slight Adjustment)
"The L Word" / "Star Trek" X-Over
Seven is summoned back to Earth to be debriefed by Starfleet Security and be assessed by Starfleet Science. On Earth for the first time since she was a child, its understandable that she'd be drawn to a small popular eatery and she decides to bring herself up to speed on Terran sub-cultures as part of her ongoing social-situation training with The Holodoc. Lefler, on convenient Shore Leave from the USS Excalibur, and her Academy-Pal Ezri, are asked to track her down once Seven loses track of time during her sojourn through town. Hilarity and sensuous rites of passage ensue. Leeta just happens to be visiting friends while on-leave from the Grand Nagus estate on Ferenginar, sipping fruit juice & nursing Bena, (her & Rom's daughter) in the cafe Seven wanders into. On a hunch, Leeta contacts Starfleet Headquarters on her wrist-comm, & asks if they've recently lost a certain ex-Borg Drone that's been widely photographed by the FNS once Voyager got back to Earth.
Deanna is on the Titan with Riker near Romulus, so I don't know where Calhoun got Deanna for this idea. Ezri seems like the kind of girl (with a symbiote,) that could handle herself with a former drone in a sexually-charged, recreational situation like Risa.
"The L Word" / "Star Trek" X-Over
Seven is summoned back to Earth to be debriefed by Starfleet Security and be assessed by Starfleet Science. On Earth for the first time since she was a child, its understandable that she'd be drawn to a small popular eatery and she decides to bring herself up to speed on Terran sub-cultures as part of her ongoing social-situation training with The Holodoc. Lefler, on convenient Shore Leave from the USS Excalibur, and her Academy-Pal Ezri, are asked to track her down once Seven loses track of time during her sojourn through town. Hilarity and sensuous rites of passage ensue. Leeta just happens to be visiting friends while on-leave from the Grand Nagus estate on Ferenginar, sipping fruit juice & nursing Bena, (her & Rom's daughter) in the cafe Seven wanders into. On a hunch, Leeta contacts Starfleet Headquarters on her wrist-comm, & asks if they've recently lost a certain ex-Borg Drone that's been widely photographed by the FNS once Voyager got back to Earth.
Deanna is on the Titan with Riker near Romulus, so I don't know where Calhoun got Deanna for this idea. Ezri seems like the kind of girl (with a symbiote,) that could handle herself with a former drone in a sexually-charged, recreational situation like Risa.
Looking For Darmok in All the Wrong Places (TNG)
The Children of Tamar contract aphasia and start making even less sense than normal. Captain Picard and the Enterprise are called in by the Federation to help their new friends, only for the Captain to find himself falling in love with the Child of Tamar doctor who is leading the search for a cure.
The Children of Tamar contract aphasia and start making even less sense than normal. Captain Picard and the Enterprise are called in by the Federation to help their new friends, only for the Captain to find himself falling in love with the Child of Tamar doctor who is leading the search for a cure.
I seem to say this a lot in this thread, but I would watch that one.
"When the pants fell at Tenagra"
Star Trek: The Next Generation
"Tomorrow Is Payday!"
Commander Riker makes the startling discovery that the Enterprise payroll is missing the day before payday.
But Captain Picard saves the day when he points out that humans in the 24th century have evolved beyond the need to work for money and that they "seek to improve themselves".
Thus, the ship does not actually have a payroll.
Jubilant. Riker declares that "drinks are on me" (convenient given that no one pays for anything anymore) and the crew spends the remaining 42 minutes of the episode hanging out in Ten Forward.
"Tomorrow Is Payday!"
Commander Riker makes the startling discovery that the Enterprise payroll is missing the day before payday.
But Captain Picard saves the day when he points out that humans in the 24th century have evolved beyond the need to work for money and that they "seek to improve themselves".
Thus, the ship does not actually have a payroll.
Jubilant. Riker declares that "drinks are on me" (convenient given that no one pays for anything anymore) and the crew spends the remaining 42 minutes of the episode hanging out in Ten Forward.
I seem to say this a lot in this thread, but I would watch that one.
"When the pants fell at Tenagra"
Bev. and Troi Swap hair colours The Captian makes love to the WRONG REDHEAD
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Kirk's Mojo (TOS)
The Enterprise comes across a Big Boy sleeper ship containing Dr. Evil (from Austin Powers). Kirk revives Dr. Evil who promptly steals his Mojo.
Dr. McCoy: Spock!
Spock: Yes?
McCoy: It's Captain Kirk! His, his Mojo is gone!
Spock: His what?
McCoy: His Mojo!
Spock: I'm afraid I'm not following you, his Mojo?
McCoy: Y'know... his Mojo!
Spock: I have no idea what you're talking about...
Robert
The Enterprise comes across a Big Boy sleeper ship containing Dr. Evil (from Austin Powers). Kirk revives Dr. Evil who promptly steals his Mojo.
Dr. McCoy: Spock!
Spock: Yes?
McCoy: It's Captain Kirk! His, his Mojo is gone!
Spock: His what?
McCoy: His Mojo!
Spock: I'm afraid I'm not following you, his Mojo?
McCoy: Y'know... his Mojo!
Spock: I have no idea what you're talking about...
Robert
TNG: Dude, where's my ship?
After being left in charge of the Enterprise while the rest of the crew enjoy shore leave, Wesley breaks into Worf's supply of blood wine. He wakes up the next morning having to retrace his footsteps to find the ship before Picard notices. Hilarity ensues.
DS9: Finders, Keepers.
After receiving no reply from Sisko about renegotiating his rental agreement, Quarks storms to Ops to find no one there as the Captain has once again got bored of his office and hauled his crew away on the Defiant. With no one around to protest, Quark takes command of DS9.
Voyager: For the hell of it!
Tuvok begins to experience flashbacks of his first run in Starfleet despite them not making much sense compared to established history. Ratings soar and a spin off is created.
After being left in charge of the Enterprise while the rest of the crew enjoy shore leave, Wesley breaks into Worf's supply of blood wine. He wakes up the next morning having to retrace his footsteps to find the ship before Picard notices. Hilarity ensues.
DS9: Finders, Keepers.
After receiving no reply from Sisko about renegotiating his rental agreement, Quarks storms to Ops to find no one there as the Captain has once again got bored of his office and hauled his crew away on the Defiant. With no one around to protest, Quark takes command of DS9.
Voyager: For the hell of it!
Tuvok begins to experience flashbacks of his first run in Starfleet despite them not making much sense compared to established history. Ratings soar and a spin off is created.
VOY: Q-eauty and the Beast
When a Q infant is found floating outside of the ship, the Doctor discovers that the powerful child contains Janeway DNA. With no sign of the real Q, the crew is forced to take care of the child-- and Seven of Nine has been tasked with the job because of her excellent work with the Borg children. The rapidly-growing child begins to create chaos (causing Janeway's breasts to swell and lactate, turning Nelix into a frog etc). Within days, the child is the human age of 10 years, and he turns the entre ship into a Captain Proton holodeck casting himself as the son of Queen Arachna and Dr. Chaotica. In this riveting two-part episode, the child reveals itself as Q playing an elaborate April Fools joke on the Voyager crew.
When a Q infant is found floating outside of the ship, the Doctor discovers that the powerful child contains Janeway DNA. With no sign of the real Q, the crew is forced to take care of the child-- and Seven of Nine has been tasked with the job because of her excellent work with the Borg children. The rapidly-growing child begins to create chaos (causing Janeway's breasts to swell and lactate, turning Nelix into a frog etc). Within days, the child is the human age of 10 years, and he turns the entre ship into a Captain Proton holodeck casting himself as the son of Queen Arachna and Dr. Chaotica. In this riveting two-part episode, the child reveals itself as Q playing an elaborate April Fools joke on the Voyager crew.
TNG: Heavy Metal
The good ship Enterprise discovers a previously uncharted class-M planet. Upon scanning it, they discover it has - shock! - a humanoid society reminiscent of late-20th Century Earth!
They also scan up some kind of Romulan technology on the planet. (cue Intro sequence) So Riker, Troi, Worf, and Data beam on down, in costume, to investigate. Worf and Data draw instant attention and shock from the humanoids on the surface, but Riker cleverly explains that they're not from around here. Troi, however, senses the people may be suspicious! (cue vaguely ominous background music)
Next, they discover that an unusual metal in the planet's composition is interfering with their communicators! (cue commerical) Worf contracts a serious case of Montezuma's Revenge. He is not a merry man. The Romulan gadget is found, and - surprise! - contains components that can cut through the interference and get them off the planet without violating the Prime Directive, which they've only just now remembered. (cue PD debate and commercial)
The Romulan widget, it turns out, is being used as a trophy for a heavy-metal battle of the bands! And so, Riker, Troi and Data suit up. Data wizards his way through a fret-burning rendition of Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It", they recover the Romulan widget, save Worf from his soiled jammies, and warp off into the sunset.
Oh, and meanwhile, the ship almost blows up, but Wesley totally saves it.
The good ship Enterprise discovers a previously uncharted class-M planet. Upon scanning it, they discover it has - shock! - a humanoid society reminiscent of late-20th Century Earth!
They also scan up some kind of Romulan technology on the planet. (cue Intro sequence) So Riker, Troi, Worf, and Data beam on down, in costume, to investigate. Worf and Data draw instant attention and shock from the humanoids on the surface, but Riker cleverly explains that they're not from around here. Troi, however, senses the people may be suspicious! (cue vaguely ominous background music)
Next, they discover that an unusual metal in the planet's composition is interfering with their communicators! (cue commerical) Worf contracts a serious case of Montezuma's Revenge. He is not a merry man. The Romulan gadget is found, and - surprise! - contains components that can cut through the interference and get them off the planet without violating the Prime Directive, which they've only just now remembered. (cue PD debate and commercial)
The Romulan widget, it turns out, is being used as a trophy for a heavy-metal battle of the bands! And so, Riker, Troi and Data suit up. Data wizards his way through a fret-burning rendition of Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It", they recover the Romulan widget, save Worf from his soiled jammies, and warp off into the sunset.
Oh, and meanwhile, the ship almost blows up, but Wesley totally saves it.
^ For some reason reading that made me think of a similar idea... the time line is disrupted when a band (who will later be instrumental in ushering in international peace) is killed in a Romulan plot.
Worf and Martok put a band together and take their place, making sure they win Eurovision. Save the music. Save the world.
Worf and Martok put a band together and take their place, making sure they win Eurovision. Save the music. Save the world.
Sadly enough, I'd probably watch this... TNG: Happy Data
The crew of the Enterprise contract an unusual illness and the only cure is in the hands of a previously unknown alien culture (The Shooter McGavins). Before they hand over the cure, they insist that Data wins a planetary game of golf, using photon torpedoes to fire a small moon into a distant black hole.
VGR: Wild Wild Delta Quadrant
The senior staff get trapped in the holodeck, which just happened to be running a wild west scenario. Cue James West and a giant metal spider.
I'd watch that. Over, and over, and over........
TNG: Blue Screen of Hell
The Captain decides to install Vista on the Enterprise, with hilarious consequences...
The Captain decides to install Vista on the Enterprise, with hilarious consequences...