Too Many Cooks: Neelix begins his bridge training under the tutorship of Tuvok while Tom Paris has to cover cooking in the Galley. Janeway finally calls a halt to the whole debacle after Neelix changes the captain's seat fabric and adds drapes around Ops.
Pitch terrible ideas for episodes II
- Thread starter Leroy
- Start date
"The Leola Root Chase"
While eating -- much to their dismay -- another meal prepared by Neelix with leola root, the crew get sick. Upon inspect, the Doctor uncovers a code hidden in the genetics of the Leola root. 7 of 9 sees something and looks into it, finding it's a map, but only a piece of the map. With coordinates.
Voyager takes time out of it's busy schedule of trying to get home and out of hostile territory to go investigate. Once there their find the Hirogen. The Hirogen also have a map piece from a Leola root offshoot plant. They agree to put the pieces of the puzzle together and find out what it is.
Once at another planet they find the Kazon, who have the final part of the puzzle, from yet another offshoot of the Leola root plant.
They combine the pieces of the puzzle and a holographic being magically comes out of a tricorder and tells them they are all related and that long ago the race seeded the galaxy with Leola root since it's the meaning of the universe and the root must flow. The three species were created by leola root and Neelix is actually the heir to the galaxy and more important than Q and superWesley combined.
Fucking awful.
While eating -- much to their dismay -- another meal prepared by Neelix with leola root, the crew get sick. Upon inspect, the Doctor uncovers a code hidden in the genetics of the Leola root. 7 of 9 sees something and looks into it, finding it's a map, but only a piece of the map. With coordinates.
Voyager takes time out of it's busy schedule of trying to get home and out of hostile territory to go investigate. Once there their find the Hirogen. The Hirogen also have a map piece from a Leola root offshoot plant. They agree to put the pieces of the puzzle together and find out what it is.
Once at another planet they find the Kazon, who have the final part of the puzzle, from yet another offshoot of the Leola root plant.
They combine the pieces of the puzzle and a holographic being magically comes out of a tricorder and tells them they are all related and that long ago the race seeded the galaxy with Leola root since it's the meaning of the universe and the root must flow. The three species were created by leola root and Neelix is actually the heir to the galaxy and more important than Q and superWesley combined.
Fucking awful.
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That one's easy: Get a big ship, haul 'em all to Risa, where they have cures for everything. Like Polaroid cameras, click a button and wait for it to pop out of the dispenser. Every other show set on or involving Risa acted as if VD was a thing of the past...
Of course, the cure could not work and they could do "The Naked Now II: The Wrath of Khanorrhea"
That's not good. Bashir would be the station's most prolific Tinder user.
Plot of the oft-rumored Khan spinoff series:
Khan scours the galaxy, hunting down all those who spell his name Kahn.
Khan scours the galaxy, hunting down all those who spell his name Kahn.
Good Lord, that series could run for years!
That beam already hit The Love Boat and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Once it got stuck and we were cursed with Cop Rock.
The problem with some of the Voyager story ideas is that they don't sound so far-fetched for the show.
TOS: "Wrath of the Illegitimates." All of the women Kirk slept with throughout the galaxy forces him to go on Maury for paternity tests.
TNG: Geordie swaps places with LeVar Burton and is forced to host Reading Rainbow despite being blind.
DS9: "Shaft" Sisko becomes a bad mother --shut yo mouth-- that no one understands but his woman.
VOY: The Borg reach out to the Federation for help after Janeway has enslaved most of the Collective. Janeway prepares her drones for a intergalactic jihad that will force all sentient life to become coffee farmers.
ENT: After four years, Daniels reveals that Jonathan Archer is really Sam Beckett and helps him to quantum leap home.
DISC: An all Klingon episode without subtitles. They even perform Shakespeare's The Merry Wives of Windsor so that it can be heard in the original Klingon.
TNG: Geordie swaps places with LeVar Burton and is forced to host Reading Rainbow despite being blind.
DS9: "Shaft" Sisko becomes a bad mother --shut yo mouth-- that no one understands but his woman.
VOY: The Borg reach out to the Federation for help after Janeway has enslaved most of the Collective. Janeway prepares her drones for a intergalactic jihad that will force all sentient life to become coffee farmers.
ENT: After four years, Daniels reveals that Jonathan Archer is really Sam Beckett and helps him to quantum leap home.
DISC: An all Klingon episode without subtitles. They even perform Shakespeare's The Merry Wives of Windsor so that it can be heard in the original Klingon.
"Quartermasters" TOS/DSC crossover: Due to a freak transporter accident, Kirk, Spock, McCoy and a couple of Redshirts are transported back in time right to the moment
where the Enterprise and Discovery cross paths in the DSC season 1 finale. Instead of dealing with the task at hand, both crews from the Discovery and past Enterprise are mesmerized by the colorful uniforms worn by this crew from the future. Word gets back to the Starfleet Quartermasters Headquarters in San Francisco, and they then begin to try to replicate these futuristic uniforms, finally achieving success almost a decade later. The TOS uniforms become a predestination paradox.
Star Trek: Legion of Doom - Traveling in his Whale Probe, a surviving-but-bandaged Khan Noonien Singh teams up with the protomatter-resurrected Commander Kruge, "God", the prisoner Valeris, Dr. Soran's echo, the latest Borg Queen, Ahdar Ru'afo (restored by the Ba'ku Planet), another Shinzon clone, young Nero, Admiral Marcus fresh from stasis, and newly discovered Krall, in order to take control of V'Ger and wipe out Earth (or at least the Moon) once-and-for-all. It's up to a fresh-from-retirement Jim Kirk, alongside Ambassador Picard, the Prophet Sisko, Admiral Janeway, a sentient holographic copy of President Archer, and someone from Discovery I guess, to team up on the Enterprise-G and save humanity.
Save Us Wesley - TNG, season 1
An interstellar anomaly appears and is going to destroy the ship in five hours. Meanwhile, a virus spreads throughout the crew which causes them to experience hallucinations, while the crew is infiltrated by shapeshifters who take the form of crewmembers but talk strangely.
The adults all stand around going "DUHHHHH...." and walking around in circles. Wesley singlehandedly spots the shapeshifters and stops them, is the only one able to ignore the hallucinations long enough to cure the virus, and comes up with a never before discovered source of energy to pilot the ship away from the anomaly.
An interstellar anomaly appears and is going to destroy the ship in five hours. Meanwhile, a virus spreads throughout the crew which causes them to experience hallucinations, while the crew is infiltrated by shapeshifters who take the form of crewmembers but talk strangely.
The adults all stand around going "DUHHHHH...." and walking around in circles. Wesley singlehandedly spots the shapeshifters and stops them, is the only one able to ignore the hallucinations long enough to cure the virus, and comes up with a never before discovered source of energy to pilot the ship away from the anomaly.
Kira and Odo are involved in a transporter accident that turns Kira into a changeling. She and Odo are now able to link and the uniqueness of their relationship is utterly ruined and the whole thing is just terrible.
Long Shadows cast by Moonlight - Quarks hacks the computer systems for his own purposes. He stumbles upon an unknown backup facility that contain some logs Sisko thought he'd very carefully deleted. Quark tries to blackmail Sisko with them.
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