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Pitch terrible ideas for episodes II

Leroy

Commodore
Commodore
Through an act of Q you are able to create episodes of your choosing, what are your terrible episode ideas? Feel free to create terrible tie in media such as comics and games to prop them up!

“Leviathan Sleeps” (DSC) The Discovery follows up on an old expedition done by the NX-06 Endeavour 100 years prior. The system in question has followed parallel development to Sigma Iota II, during one of the away missions someone left behind a boxed set of the Expanse novels written by James S. A. Corey and as a result the natives used the novel series as a pattern for their entire civilization. Now the crew of the Discovery must mediate a conflict between the United Nations and the Mars Congressional Republic while enduring the ramifications of first contact with an interplanetary empire.

“Big Tribble Little China” (DSC) While experimenting with the spore drives time travel capabilities the Discovery jumps to space station K-7 on stardate 4523.3. The game is afoot however thanks to the Discovery’s more advanced sensors the crew detects the starship Defiant through her cloak who also traveled through time. The crews of Discovery and Deep Space Nine must team up to thwart the efforts of a Klingon assassin with tribbles abound! It should be noted that the cast of TOS will be played by the cast of Continues in an attempt to save budget, and in order to give Avery Brooks weird uncanny valley triggering cgi. The art direction will use that of the JJ Abrams rebooted timeline for the TOS sets and the DS9 sets will remain the same causing debate and confusion among fans for decades to come!

“City on the Edge of Five Minutes After Never” (DSC) Lt. Stamets jumps the ship to the Guardian of Forever planet after an overdose of cordazine. Stamets uses the Guardian to travel back in time to prevent one of his ancestors from being assaulted by Kevin Spacey. The episode will feature special guest star Kevin Spacey.

“Star Trek Discovery / Mirror Broken tie in comic” (IDW) The Discovery jumps back into the mirror universe! This time during the 24 century! Can the crew of the Discovery escape the clutches of the evil Captain Picard who wants to use the spore drive to conquer the Klingon Cardassian Alliance?

“The Hand of Rassilon parts I and II” (DSC) The Tholians who have become obsessed with scanning alternate realities are contacted by Rassilon (Timothy Dalton) who has become deranged as a result of the Last Great Time War. The Tholians hijack the Discovery and use its spore drive to jump to the Doctor Who universe, where they will gather the pieces of the Key to Time in order to reboot the Star Trek universe to their liking. The Doctor (Sean Pertwee) must team up with the crew of Discovery in order to stop them! Tom Baker special guest stars as a rock monster!

“Proof is in the Pudding” (TOS) Captain Kirk’s crazy ex girlfriend Janice Lester returns and this time she is armed with a weapon she created using knowledge she gained on Camus II. The weapon Lester creates is capable of swapping the genders of the entire crew! The episode features a healthy dose of 60’s sexism, Shatner’s hammy overacting, and discussions of gender issues.

“A picture of Eternity” (TOS) The Enterprise encounters an anomaly that turns out to be a pocket universe where time travels faster relative to our universe. The anomaly is inhabited by the descendants of Captain Kirk’s illegitimate children! The descendants have formed their own vast and powerful space empire and want revenge on Kirk for their ancestors lack of a dad!
 
"The One With All The Jump Suits" (TNG) Picard and Wesley Crusher are flung back through time during a turbo-lift accident to 1990's New York City and must help Chandler, Monica and Rachel find Ross a date, only a successful date by Ross will open a hole in the space time continuum that will allow them to return to the Enterprise.
 
"The Ensigns of Command" (A season-long TNG/VOY/ENT crossover event) After a mysterious entity causes the command crew of the Enterprise-D, Enterprise NX-01 and Voyager to disappear, a space-time distortion causes the three ships to become a hybrid, the Voyager NX-74656-01-D, and Ensign Wesley Crusher, Ensign Harry Kim and Ensign Travis Mayweather have to team up to save the day in the most exciting episode since Fair Haven.
 
TNG: "Bully" Lt. Commander Data in a interest to learn more about what it's like to be a teenager activates a program that he has created that allows him to act like a teenager and he quickly starts hanging out with the only teen he knows in Wesley Crusher. A first they are having a fun time hanging out in a Holodeck created Malt shop and studying Micro Theramic Neutron Particles liike teens are bound to do but then the program malfunctions because the ship is traveling through a part of space that has Metron particle showers in it and the ship is hit with Metron particles that create a electric surge that strikes Data messing up his program and turning on his "Jock" mode to the program.

Now Data starts to bully Wesley. He beams his uniform off of him when he is in the middle of a date and and makes him replicate Lunch money and give it to him. Data then dresses up in a leather jacket and sun glasses and plans to still a shuttlecraft but it's up to Wesley with some help from Geordi to shut the program off without Data knowing it. The are able to rig a subspace shunt from the science station to the cargo bay that will unlease vertitronic particles into the air that disables Data, thus allowing them to fix him. Episode ends on a coda were Data and Wesley sit in the Malt Shop and talk about the unexpected nature of teenage human beings.

Jason
 
TNG: A matter of Honor and Empathy-- As part of a cultural exchange program, Deanna Troi becomes a councelor/therapist on board of a Klingon vessel.

Oh, and just as a matter of sheer coincidence, Lwaxana has decided around the same time she wants a Klingon mate so she's in the episode, too, with some flimsy excuse of going to a conference.
 
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TNG: "The Birds and the Bees"
Captain Picard is horrified after walking in on Wesley Crusher having a private moment with himself. He orders a staff meeting, and they decide the best way to deal with the situation is a sex ed holoprogram... which goes wrong, trapping Wesley and the senior staff in a sex education holoprogram run amok!
 
TOS: She's Just Not That Into You - Kirk and co. land on an alien planet where they are met by a beautiful woman. Kirk takes an instant fondness to her, but she finds him brash, egotistical, and basically just annoying. McCoy mocks Kirk for the next 40 minutes.

TNG: Bridge Duty - An ensign is very excited to be scheduled for his first bridge duty, only to find that the camera never settles on him and everyone ignores him. He's then never seen again.
 
VOY: Foot Master of the Delta Quadrant - Neelix is acting strangely. Seven of Nine is disturbed in her regeneration chamber as Neelix is trying to remove her boot, but he apologizes, citing confusion and misunderstanding on his part.
He then starts cooking barefoot in the galley. In an unauthorized ship-wide com broadcast, he asks that the entire crew no longer call him Neelix and instead call him the Foot Master of the Delta Quadrant (Janeway spits her coffee across the ready room laughing). During an evening meal Neelix propositions several female members of the crew into fulfilling his emergent desires as the Foot Master of the Delta Quadrant by starring in some "private" holo-recordings. "For personal use only, Seven, I swear!!"
After confronted by the senior staff about his increasingly greasy behavior, The Doctor scans him and discovers Neelix's foot fetish is actually being caused by an alien that stowed away at the last nebula and manifested in his mind as an emergent supernatural fetish. Janeway notes that she no longer finds the situation amusing and orders that Neelix's foot fetish alien excised from his mind by whatever means required and orders no one to ever speak of it again. "The reign of the Foot Master of the Delta Quadrant ends here and now."
Neelix's salacious foot holo-recordings are deleted and the crew continues its (until now) sexually vanilla adventure towards the Alpha Quadrant.
 
VOY: Foot Master of the Delta Quadrant - Neelix is acting strangely. Seven of Nine is disturbed in her regeneration chamber as Neelix is trying to remove her boot, but he apologizes, citing confusion and misunderstanding on his part.
He then starts cooking barefoot in the galley. In an unauthorized ship-wide com broadcast, he asks that the entire crew no longer call him Neelix and instead call him the Foot Master of the Delta Quadrant (Janeway spits her coffee across the ready room laughing). During an evening meal Neelix propositions several female members of the crew into fulfilling his emergent desires as the Foot Master of the Delta Quadrant by starring in some "private" holo-recordings. "For personal use only, Seven, I swear!!"
After confronted by the senior staff about his increasingly greasy behavior, The Doctor scans him and discovers Neelix's foot fetish is actually being caused by an alien that stowed away at the last nebula and manifested in his mind as an emergent supernatural fetish. Janeway notes that she no longer finds the situation amusing and orders that Neelix's foot fetish alien excised from his mind by whatever means required and orders no one to ever speak of it again. "The reign of the Foot Master of the Delta Quadrant ends here and now."
Neelix's salacious foot holo-recordings are deleted and the crew continues its (until now) sexually vanilla adventure towards the Alpha Quadrant.
Wait, are you Quentin Tarantino???
 
DS9: "The Wacky Odo Toilet Ride" Chief O'Brien has installed toilets aboard the station since the old Cardisian toilets have finally broke down. Problem is no human has built a toilet in 200 hundred years so he was unsure as how safe they would be and he asks Odo to test it out since he is a Changling and has no bones to break or organs to damage. Turns out they are to powerful and Odo is sucked down the toilet and finds himself zooming through the sewer tubes within the station.

Meanwhile Rom is working knee deep in waste extraction and then Odo comes flying out a tube. Odo grumbles about Chief O'Brien but is cut off after hearing a monster type. Then a giant Vole comes out of the shadows and chases them. Apparently in season 1 Nog flushed a baby Vole down a toilet and it's been living in the bowels of the station ever since getting bigger and bigger. Rom eventually comes up with a non-lethal tech way to stop the Killer Vole with some help from Odo and using his shapeshifter powers. The episode ends with the Vole being relocated to the Bajoran moon with those spider things on it where they will live in harmony.

Jason
 
TNG - The Many Wifes
Barclay has another holo deck fantasy where he has married every single woman on the ship.

TNG - Tupee
Picard wants to create a new image for himself. So, he puts on a wig.
In the evening at the crew's poker table Worf says wigs are without honor.
 
‘for the world is holo, and I have touched the wall’
Two parter, following the adventures of every crew (cgi for the departed) but about every fifteen minutes, it turns out they are a holodeck sim in the next crews adventure. At the end, Bob Picardo turns the whole lot off, but we never find out if he was playing the EMH in that scene, as he’s wearing a silver grey 90s suit.

..

Ok...not sure that would be as terrible as when I started writing it.
 
Captain Kirk is catapulted into the future and onto the bridge of the Enterprise D.
There follows 30 minutes of hellacious technobabble from Picard,LaForge and Data about how to return him to the past without damaging the time/space continuum.
Kirk meanwhile is subjected to a lecture on “toxic masculinity” by Troi and Crusher.
 
VOY - Threshold A specially-outfitted warp-capable shuttlecraft piloted by Tom Paris successfully reaches Warp 10, breaking the transwarp barrier. But the side effects of breaking the barrier may cost the crew of Voyager their best helmsman.
 
"Wesley Returns"
Wesley comes back from his studies with the Traveler. He is now Super Wesley. Which is still super annoying.


Tuvok's Brain"
Remakes are fun!


"(fill in your own title)" (D.S.9.)
An episode featuring only Jake.
 
"As the Discovery Turns" (DSC) The ship jumps to Risa for some much needed R&R, cadet Tilly goes out with that cute boy from astrophysics she has been eyeing. Burnham and Tyler go out on a dinner date. Lt. Stamets searches for a new boyfriend on one of the planets many nude beaches. The episode features a subplot concerning Klingon war protesters.

"And the Teenagers Shall Lead" (TOS) Remember those kids from 'And the Children Shall Lead'? Well their back! But this time the kids got caught in that anomaly from 'A Picture of Eternity' and have aged roughly 10 years, at least one of the teens is legal so Kirk can get a lay, old habits?

"I Kirk" (TOS) A follow up to 'A Picture of Eternity' the ship travels back to the planet from 'I Mudd' and constructs hundreds of android duplicates of Kirk so they can be sent to the eternity empire to do dad things with them in order to resolve the conflict.
 
Profit and Lice (DS9): Quark is approached by a medical shampoo company willing to pay him to secretly introduce lice to unsuspecting planets.
 
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