Killer intro! Love the music. That something that gets ignored all too often in these freeware types of shows - how important music is to setting the tone of a show. Any series that started out like that on TV would have my immediate attention.
Buuuut then we come to the high-school-drama-club level acting performances, which just kills my interest dead. Of all the things they couldn't get on the cheap, I wouldn't expect actors to be among them. Aren't there tons of desperate, out-of-work actors out there who are just as talented as the lucky ones who land gigs?
The intro narration is great, but the dialogue is amateurish - exposition-city. Needs a rewrite.
And the production values are pretty shoddy, too, but nothing I wouldn't expect.
I'm willing to give internet-based series a shot, but I can't help judging them by the standards I hold professional shows to, because anything below that level is just too annoying to endure.
This concept wouldn't be bad if it were done over at a basic professional level (meaning, a notch above Skiffy's Saturday-night-monster movies). Keep the same head writer and music composer, hire someone who can write dialogue to work with the main writer, recast the roles with some real actors, up the production values to tolerable levels, and you'd have something.
