Either that or we pull names from a hat!"... as long as I'm in a top tier caste, that is."
Author's notes: This was written as part of the Trek BBS January/February 2026 Challenge and takes place in 2393.
January/February 2026 Challenge: New. It can be anything that fits the theme - new ship, new crew, new beginnings etc. Any crew, any time, canon or your creation, AU or not.
Trek BBS: January/February 2026 Challenge
"New: The Next Lower Decks"
The Prometheus-class U.S.S. Phoenix-X stifled, stifflessly and stammery in strenuous stability along the Federation border as the Type-11 shuttlecraft Iroh exited its shuttle bay and jumped to warp. Captain Night Seifer operated the shuttle's forward consoles.
“Captain’s log, Stardate 70184.5. With the shuttlecraft Dracon under severe repairs, none of the crew wanted to join me in escorting my graduated nephew Vel to his first starship posting. Not that I blame them after my recent crash into a steampunk-Borg world full of mechanical-walking giant fish— I think I was the antagonist? Either way, with the subdued, limited shadow of what Starfleet Academy used to be, now in these dark times, it’s easily a miracle we get any new officers anymore. As such, I must risk the well-known shuttle-operator/accident trope again to see the utopian future we all were previously acquainted.”
As if on queue, the Iroh was intensely whacked out of warp by a sudden neutronic storm, throwing the Captain from the helm and knocking him unconscious, as well as several pips from his uniform collar.
---
The hull scraped Iroh, now barred from any registry decals and a damaged computer, later sat, rescued in the shuttle bay of the Parliament-class U.S.S. Kawartha. Seifer was awoken by Doctor Sveng in Sickbay.
“Brass cogs!” Seifer blurted before coming to his senses. “Oh, I’m okay. Where am I? Also, for that matter, who am I?”
Ensign Aya Chen walked over and noticed Sveng pausing for dramatic effect. “We have to give it a few seconds whenever anyone says that, in case of cold opens,” Sveng explained to Chen before turning back to Seifer. “As for you, I feared the impact of a neutronic storm would affect your Trill symbiont and your memories. We found you afloat and saved you.”
“Judging by the pip on your collar, you’re an Ensign,” Chen explained. “And, though your cells are being inoculated against radiolythic isotopes, our surface-level DNA scans indicate you to be Vel Torin: the Kawartha’s new officer! They said you were going to be arriving on a shuttle. Welcome!”
Sveng closed his tricorder. “Cognitive recall will come with inoculations, so you’re cleared for duty, but that broken down Academy gave you the wrong uniform. This is a support ship. Not one of those newfangled capital drama vessels with hull-ripping space battles and more decks than actually laid out.” He shuddered. “Ugh. Perpetual turbolifts.”
---
Later, Seifer found himself on the lower decks of the Kawartha in a cluttered repair bay where the damaged Iroh was transferred. The amnesiac officer, now in a Starfleet support uniform with that one pip, rubbed his spotted Trill temples.
“Uggh. I feel like I got hit by a Danube-class runabout with a rollbar,” Seifer elucidated. “What’s the point of those again? Just to look different? Why would that be important?”
Ensign Rune, a Ferengi and engineer walked over to shake his hand. “Same reason they put a third nacelle on some Galaxy-class starships; future-compensation. Hey. I’m Rune. I was a misfit officer on exchange with the Yamato before the legendary Nog inspired me to join Starfleet. Now I’m repairing past misdeeds as well as hyper-stimulated plasma grids.”
“Rune’s engineering enthusiasm is so anti-Ferengi approval-seeking, he’s going to radiate his cells until he’s no longer Ferengi,” came the addition from a human Starfleet officer. “Leana Ortiz. Sciences. One of many long-running Ensigns in some kind of fleet-wide Harry Kim pitfall. Being rank-stuck in a dark era has frustratingly prevented me access to any satisfying cosmic oddities.”
The Ensign from Sickbay entered, carrying a little Alfa 177 canine with a horn of its head. “Aya Chen. Medical. I befriended a sehlat when I was young, so now I’m in it for the lifeforms, small to you guys. Also, you should know Commander Estelle’s transporter copy dogs have begun duplicating even more off the pad and are going nuts all over the ship while in heat! Their names are Pizza!” She placed the one on the work table before it ran over and humped Seifer’s arm.
“Aww. She’s so cute for a potential self-incest canine-Doopler,” Seifer noticed while quickly pulling away. “I’m told I’m Vel Torin. My memory was wiped from this computer-wrecked, registry-decal-singed Iroh on my way here, so I don’t really have a backstory to cherish. But I do have this escalating misplaced feeling intertwined with a rousing excitement for starting anew.” Then, “I know! Let’s adopt commanding, adjacent-British accents and get Ortiz the astro-strange anomaly she’s been looking for!”
Rune blinked. “Oh, wow. I’m loving this energy. But, if we do, it’s going to have to be during the Kawartha’s mission to Deep Space C-12 in Cardassian space, to reinforce its structural integrity against all these neutronic storms. I hope you guys are cool with grunt-level hull restoration enthusiasm as much as I’ll be perpetuating it.”
---
Soon, the Kawartha dropped warp before the medium-sized Starfleet space station Deep Space C-12. The group found themselves carrying various awkwardly sized tools into one of four station-wide lateral Engineering control rooms with a small airlock to launch DOT-11s.
“The Cardassians actually re-branded this as Teketekon Station after the Treaty in the 2370s,” Ortiz explained. “It was given an exception and repurposed as an administration port for what was, at the time, the Demilitarized Zone, manned by several non-threatening, bureaucratic Cardassian and Starfleet officers.”
Chen perked as she brought over a portable calibration console. “That’s like a Caitian after-party with double laser pointers. Anyway, what about the rumours of Obsidian Order and Section 31 agents frequenting shadow-control of this place over the years?”
“Pfft! Rumours are just posits of misplaced conjectures,” Seifer relinquished. “What isn’t hearsay is me convincing Captain Styles to approve our side quest of investigating the strange atomic readings left by those neutronic boomy-booms.”
Rune pumped. “Yeah! Also, this station’s unused, single starship bay has an industrial replicator that I have already activated to build up my own design multi-spatial probe. Engineering and science unite!”
“Aww, guys. Thank you soooo much for facilitating my astrophysics dreams. You don’t get this kind of tight-nit friend-bond on capital ships,” Ortiz appreciated. “Lower decks! Lower decks!”
But a Cardassian officer suddenly exited a nearby lavatory and was zipping up before being nearly surprised by their apparent activities. “What the hell is going on? You’re supposed to be configuring the DOTs for hull reinforcement. That last storm stripped this station’s duranium to its Federation skivvies! For reference, I am Gil Lokek, the station’s Engineer.”
“That means you’re at the lowest rank, Lokek. You’re one of us and just as green and looked down upon despite all of us being officers for some reason,” Seifer countered. “Besides, we can do both. See? I’ve programmed this rifle to more efficiently repair neutron-weakened hull plating.” He held it up.
Lokek squinted. “Your Starfleet DOTs have stubby arms. How do you expect them to hold that giant thing??” He watched as Seifer failed a few times after handing the rifle to an ungrippable DOT-11. Lokek continued, “Teketekon Station is slated for a full Cardassian compliment next month, with families, and we can’t have a slew of measly support officers messing up our protection against these storms!”
“Oh, crap. He’s right. The auto-launched multi-spatial probe appears to suddenly be activating storm-wrought space off the station’s port bow?” Ortiz observed from her science console. “It’s creating some kind of inverse neutronic energy field?”
Seifer began checking the probe readings. “That’s great! Inverse means the opposite of radiolytic, right? Like, super-healing? Is that a thing?”
“Uhh, this altered energy field is ten times more radioactive than before,” Ortiz discovered from her readings. “Teketekon’s position must be near some kind of subspace neutrino magnet zone. So much so, the field is burning itself out, but not before it’ll breach one transporter-neutralized, exposed hull section.” She looked to everyone, expressing an impending-doom-face. “Our section!”
They watched as Seifer tried again to place the modified rifle into the DOT-11’s stubby arms, only for it to struggle and drop it once more. Rune declared, “There’s a reason why you never saw these things on any of the Enterprises or Voyagers!” Everyone looked to see the Ferengi was now wearing an environmental suit and was picking up the rifle himself. “This is a job for a head-strong Engineer with proving-to-others-and-himself issues.” He began to squeeze himself through the small, force-fielded DOT airlock. “When I’m gone, please tell the Ferengi that I hated them.”
“Oh, no you don’t,” Chen countered as she grabbed Rune’s legs when he made it halfway out of the airlock. “I did not successfully mate ten same-sex Pizza dogs to lose my first actual lifeform friend to intense, anomalytic radioactivity!”
Seifer then hooked his arm to Chen’s, trying to pull her away from him. “Aya, no! Part of being in command is being able to send someone to their deaths. At least, that’s how I interpreted Deanna Troi’s memoirs and assumption of her willingness to crash an Enterprise.”
“Torin, stop! We’re supposed to be four best friends who don’t let anything bad happen to each other, like that one conglomerate of crew-merging, Pakled-destroying, buffer time fanatic Ensigns on the Cerritos who appeared much taller in real life if you met them,” Ortiz counter-countered while hooking both her arms into Seifer’s pull.
Lokek just watched in utter deadpan at the display of conflated gripping officers before he walked over to an open circuit panel and rewired it so the gravity plating would shock Seifer, Ortiz and Chen to the floor, allowing Rune to escape to the outer hull. “You guys know Cardassians are always judging, right? Did you forget looking cool in front of me was a thing you were diplomatically required to do?”
“Rune to Torin. It’s working!” the boot-magnetized Ferengi declared from out in space to deaf ears as he blasted the hull plating with the reinforcement beam whilst being inundated with radiolytic energies. “Torin, do you read me? Bro, I’m trying to connect to you success-wise for new-friendship’s sakes. Vel Torin, can you read me!? Are we bros??” But it was too late, the energy field had engulfed him and sent his cells into a highly radiated, mutated state.
Several DOT-11s popped out into space and grabbed the mentally-fading Rune to squeeze him back through the tiny hatch, back inside. Chen quickly began medical-scanning the floor-dropped Ferengi. “His DNA has been radically altered. It’s like he’s half-Ferengi, half something else entirely. I think said species-blinding has alleviated death!?” She breathed a moment of disbelief. “I’m going to have a field day investigating his new state. Oh, and we all need innoculations now.”
“I can feel an excitable Badgey and judgemental Koala somewhere,” Rune realized in shock as he sat up and rubbed his head. He then immediately pointed to Seifer. “Also, that is not Vel Torin! The computer wouldn’t put me through to him when I was reaching out for classic O’Brien/Bashir male bonding and, to a lesser extent, Kim/Paris.”
Seifer looked to his hands in realization. “Holy crap. Rune is right? This wave of modified radiation is synapting my synapses. I think I’m a Captain and that my ship is wayyy passed its projected life expectancy?”
“Uncle!” came the sudden accusatory tone from another Trill, with rucksack, who everyone watched step into the room with them. “I had to book passage on two Kobheerian freighters and that one same triglobulin-obsessed Axanar fluid-draining cargo ship the NX-01 encountered in the 22nd century.”
Captain Victor Styles also entered, just behind, pinching his own nose bridge in distress. “Ugh. Don’t remind me of that highly controversial documentary. As for the rest of you Ensigns, I want an immediate end to these lower decks shenanigans. How are capital ships going to take us seriously when your kind is constantly igniting and snuffing new forms of radiation? As you can plainly see, your actual Ensign Vel Torin is this guy!”
“By the real and confirmed Greek gods!? Then who were we Ensign-bonding with? I feel so violated and excited all at the same time,” Ortiz shuddered.
The imposter stepped forward, zipping up and into his previous capital Starfleet uniform whilst placing three additional engineering bolts as interim pips onto his collar. “I’m Captain Night Seifer of the U.S.S. Phoenix-X. Torin was my last name before I was joined and, despite inherent DOT-gripping setbacks and crew incompetence, I will no longer tolerate this oppression of lower deckers.”
“Wait a minute. You're from that Prometheus-class starship that let those Borg-ripping gormaganders loose on Manzar colony!” Styles recalled in utter shock and disgust.
Seifer nodded. “We were testing their Worf-based defense perimeter. A lot of child abandonment of smaller defense sections. As for the Kawartha, you are ordered to be nicer to your lower deckers, to fix my shuttle Iroh, and to tow this station to a safer location. This experience has taught me much about appreciating the newness of being a low-level officer.”
“Hey, guys. I’m on task to join the Kawartha for a little while to help out,” came the entrance of the Bajoran and Stafleet officer, Ensign Dan.
Captain Seifer immediately nearly retched at the sight of his old rank-frozen subordinate. “Oh— Ugh!? I thought I was rid of you?? How dare you stalk me! You’re relieved!”
“But you recall me all the ti—?”
Seifer pointed. “Out!!” After all the excess personnel dispersed, Ortiz, Chen, Torin and Rune were left to address him. “As for you guys, thanks for the glimpse into that old passion and drive I used to know in my old days. Vel, do not tell your mother about me usurping your first day as an officer and single only chance to bond with your peers.”
“Captain, you don’t have to be new to have a fervent drive or passion,” Ortiz offered. “If they were you once, they’re still in there to be you again.”
The higher ranking Trill nodded. “Like an internal astrophysics anomaly waiting to be reignited, perhaps. Thank you, Ensign Ortiz. Rune, you’re no longer Ferengi; you're the man.” They fist bumped and then Seifer left.
“Do you guys do the chant thing? The lower decks one?” a foreign Vel Torin asked to an off-put un-bonded-to-him group who quickly and awkwardly backed away and made excuses to get back to work. Torin just stood there, blinking, now scared and artless, unsure what to do with his hands in this uncouth, new chapter. “Lower decks?”
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They know what they did.
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Author's notes: This was written as part of the Trek BBS March/April 2026 Challenge and takes place in 2393. The Theodosia is later in service in 2411 in "The Opposite of That". The perceived destruction of a ship at Caleb IV comes from STO mission "The Battle of Caleb IV" where the crew is time-jumped to the game's 2409 timeline. Seifer ordered BOB to stop time-travelling at the end of "Celestial Dynamics, Part III".
March/April 2026 Challenge: Old. Old tech, old school, old ship, old worlds, old life, old civilizations etc., whatever fits the bill.
Trek BBS: March-April 2026 Challenge
"Old: The Previous Upper Decks"
The Prometheus-class U.S.S. Phoenix-X mifted, miffly and monotonously in middling madness along the Federation border as the Type-4, Class F shuttlecraft Hendrix exited its shuttle bay and jumped to warp. BOB operated the shuttle's forward consoles.
“Special counsellor’s log, Stardate 70185.2. With the entire crew in near Antedian states from constant patrol, I’ve taken the unlocked, non-synced Hendrix toward the Volterra Nebula where a two-decades old Enterprise-D analysis has finally indicated a potential cluster of temporal matter. Since I’m a temporally displaced Ferengi myself, I intend to ride that anomaly back to the future where I came from!"
The shuttle dropped warp and approached an energized, fluctuating mess of giant hardened vines and branches in space. Captain Seifer awoke from a pile of blankets in the back of the shuttle, just now noticing the situation.
"What the hell, man? You stole this century-old, ancient shuttle gifted to us from the Unreliable to go anomaly-hunting to— what, time travel re-sync yourself, extraordinaire??" the jaw-dropped Trill blitzered.
BOB turned, quickly accepting his undoing. "Ahh! Yeah, pretty much. I’ve been waiting forever for a Temporal Investigations agent or some kind of 29th century Integrity Commission to correct my misalignment as I find the anticipation of such a pluck more stressful than the violation itself."
"Dammit, man. I ordered you otherwise specifically to evade those fun-killing hacks! It’s in the same sense I was hiding out in here to dodge hounding crew from stuffy patrol updates since I’d been missing twice now on shuttle mishaps."
The Ferengi nodded. "Shirking said duties on small craft was probably indicative of said issues in the first place."
"I know my foibles!"
But they were quickly approached by the Type-11 shuttle Haruko and hailed by its sole occupant, Tong. "Captain? You thumb-printed remote-authorized us to investigate this quandary this morning?"
"I’m going to be honest. I probably did that half-asleep and it seems BOB came across your same findings."
Tong understood. "Ah. Trying to escape the timeline again? Classic BOB shenanigans. Well, Hachi and I found two vessels, though, not future-related but, rather, past. Come. You’ll see what I’m being overtly coy about."
---
Soon, both shuttles weaved themselves near the outskirts of the chaotic temporal timber, where they separately shuttle bay-landed aboard two lifeless Federation vessels, now hung in the confines of the late 24th century: the archaic, low-quality original Constitution-class U.S.S. Shinsoku and the gimmicky-obsessed angled Crossfield-class U.S.S. Theodosia.
"This is amazing," Seifer observed as he joined BOB on the Bridge of the now-lighting up Shinsoku. "Retro nobs, illuminated blocks and faceless data cards with no clue what’s on them! It’s like being back in the 23rd century of misogynistic, sweaty old Vulcan bigotry."
The screen clicked on to show the hail from the Theodosia, where Tong and Hachi were now just getting into its reactivated Bridge. "Are you kidding me? Those ships were slow, redundant and lacking in visual resolution due to pervasive chemical leaks," Hachi offered while manning a nearby console. "At least this ship looked way more advanced than yours."
"This is the 288m asbestos version over its surplus-budget 442m neon-lights-everywhere version— I’ll give you that," Seifer noticed, looking around.
BOB perked from checking the ship logs. "Captain, according to this, the Shinsoku was fighting Klingons in orbit of Caleb IV in 2270 before its crew were simultaneously transported off whilst a battle-damaged eruption sent the ship skewing through some kind of fungal subspace network."
"They must’ve looked like they exploded and died but, instead, became trapped in the multi-dimensional weave left by the Theodosia’s attempted spore drive jump, a decade earlier," Tong realized as he went through his own ship’s logs. "According to this, the Theodosia was covertly doing a Discovery and Glenn thing."
Seifer blinked. "I have no idea what space magic nonsense you just spouted, but it’s clear the Shinsoku rode what I assume are mushrooms all the way to the Theodosia and this fungal-growing end point."
"That’s exactly what that was," Tong conflated, impressed. "There’s some kind of hippie mycelial network permeating all of space and time and it’s bleeding out here? Anyway, I suggest we trigger main controls by initiating each ship’s tactical simulations."
With Seifer nodding and everyone getting to work, both old vessels began to rev up even more with the unfortunate happenstance of becoming suddenly locked in connection with each other. "Oh, crap!" BOB panicked. "The simulations have become synced and see each opposite vessel as its assigned enemy. Also, we can’t turn them off??"
"This feels like we’re ramping up to something," Seifer deadpanned. "Are we doing a thing?"
Hachi nodded in agreement from his checks. "The only way to end our Alexander Rozhenkoing and get full warp control will be for us to complete our simulation through disabling you guys for real."
"Hold on a second," Seifer repulsed. "If anyone is disabling anyone for real, it’s the original Constitution-class taking your half-baked triangle toaster pastry out to serialized-drama-breakfast."
Tong protested as he brought phasers online. "Are you kidding me, sir? The Crossfield-class wipes your screenless, fighter jet stealing, doomsday food starship all the way from Delta Vega to the other Delta Vega."
"Your corridors are too big and you waste all your internal space on a mythical turbolift universe!" Seifer argued as he diverted weapons control to the Captain’s chair. "Also, why is everyone always crying!?"
---
Tong quickly leapt backward to the Theodosia’s nub chair as Hachi initiated the Crossfield-class ship to pass the Shinsoku whilst hitting it with photon torpedoes.
"Constitutions can’t keep their visuals consistent," Tong added. "Are they high-definition shiny-metallic or toneless, grainy matte? Do their pylons have gaps in them or not??"
The Shinsoku rotated around and blasted canned phaser beams after canned phaser beams into weakening the forward shields of the Theodosia. Seifer argued, "Crossfields can’t keep their technology comparable with everyone else! Why do you have holographic interfaces? Or AI more advanced than ten years from then??"
"They were Kurtz-ppealing to an attention-anemic generation of slab-obsessed, aggressive attentioners— Admirals, maybe," Tong countered, defensively, as the Theodosia went to black alert, spun its saucer section and popped itself to suddenly below the Shinsoku.
BLAM! The Shinsoku’s ventral shields were broken through by a volley of photon torpedoes and the lower hull was breached. "Ahh! The Great Bird of the Galaxy must be spinning in his galactic bird grave!" BOB gritted from his light-bulbed damage reports.
"I’ve got to Kirk this somehow. Every starship carries a part of its predecessor and it looks like the Shinsoku has the grappler of its NX-class forerunner," Seifer observed before he fired a metallic cable out from the Constitution-class mashup to grab a giant branch of hardened Yeel tree.
Snapping it off, the Shinsoku flung the mammoth space bark into the Theodosia’s next attempted spore jump/hull spin, locking the mycelial appendage into the saucer section gaps and, instead, causing the bottom half of the Crossfield-class ship to spin uncontrollably.
"Aaaaahhhh!!!" Tong and Hachi screamed as they cancelled their black alert, stopped their pointless spin and settled the resulting hull stress.
Hachi got himself up off the floor. "Captain, did you just jam a stick into the spoke of our saucer wheel like a mean kid throwing a rod into a friend’s bicycle tire?"
"I did do that. Yes," Seifer blinked in shared realization seconds before both simulations ended and two formally-dressed agents transported onto the Bridge of each ship.
Everyone noticed the Phoenix-X had delivered them as the human woman upon the Theodosia took them in. "Agent Liangi of Temporal Investigations: You time it, we sometimes untime it. But not always."
---
"Agent Chovdun," the human male upon the Bridge of the Shinsoku introduced while taking in the fascination of the back-to-basics starship. "Pretty good find you boys have here."
Seifer slumped in defeat despite the win. "Actually, I’m just now realizing the inherent authenticity-contamination of the Constitution-class. No matter how pure and out-of-the-box we want it to be, some kind of extended-canon composite irrigates mongrel tech mashing."
"It’s like a quantum wave function in that you can’t claim an unsullied observation without it being effected by the observer," Liangi added.
Nodding, Seifer replied, "I miss the old days. Now androids are banned, Romulus is destroyed and Picard is some kind of angry hermit?"
"He’s a delightful crank!" Chovdun countered. "But, yeah. Times change and whether they’re good or bad is irrelevant as people are pawns to a galactic plot tapestry. Bearing witness is its own comeuppance."
Liangi continued. "Anyway, we’ll eradicate this mycelial outpouring and take these starships back to the Federation for the Starfleet Museum or some kind of covert mission or something. Who knows."
"Ahem! Hello? What about me?" BOB interrupted, expectantly. "I’m an anomalous aberration?"
Chovdun gritted angrily before transporting everyone and their shuttles back to the Phoenix-X. "Didn’t you hear what Liangi said about untiming!? Not always!"
---
Back on the Bridge of the Prometheus-class Phoenix-X, the crew came to see Seifer taking a seat at his chair.
"Captain, are you finally back?" Veker asked. "You know how the crew deteriorates into it’s weekly targ hunts whenever you’re away."
Seifer looked. "Wait. I thought those stopped when the Klingon Officer Exchange Program ended?"
"They never took the targs with them. Said they were tainted by Starfleet grooming and pet love standards," Hachi added. "As for us, that was a fun battling of a bunch of old ships. Back to patrol position then?"
The Captain hesitated. "Actually, let’s do a quick survey for any more anomalous irregularities. From now on, if we find a single mushroom spore tree anywhere, we are to destroy it!" After an agreeing crew, the Phoenix-X turned in space and jumped to warp.
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That's for the camera dolly to move around.
The future is always bleeding into the past. Old ships are more technologically advanced than ships from 70 years later...
Thanks!! rbs
One can imagine that if past ships were designed by future engineers, then of course they would be more advanced then the designs those engineers learned on. That will make more sense a hundred years from now. Then, someone can come back and explain it so those in the future understand it.
-Will
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This one made my day.
Going to file this under "twirly cam".
Time traveling engineers explains Scotty so much.
Haha, awesome. Thanks for the read!This one made my day.
Author's notes: This continues in the year 2393. Night Seifer was previously Night Gotens (as seen in Double Phoenix) from 2365 to 2377. The Seifer symbiont became frozen by Esper energies in "Triple Phoenix, Part III". Later, in 2410, Mayhem involuntarily reveals the Zalconians in "Someone to Remember Them By" and the Ragnarok becomes a regular in "Tabletop Beginnings". John later appears in command of his own ship in 2411 in "Fanatical Online". This episode part was written in June 2026.
Star Trek: Phoenix-X
"Duplicitous Dispossession, Part I"
The agrarian, bucolic, run-of-the-mill Prometheus-class U.S.S. Phoenix-X trekked steadily and solemnly in dispersion of the stars along the receded Federation border. Captain Seifer was in Sickbay getting his teeth checked by Doctor Xyrenia when the dental monitor clicked from vital medical data into a viewscreen-untraceable-communique from two Section 31 agents: Elena and Nelkast.
"It's been a while, Phoenix-X," glared Elena, from behind the shared desk. "We hope you enjoyed your irreverent gallivanting, but I expect you knew a follow-up was inevitable."
Seifer coughed away Xyrenia's final enamel exam tool. "Ugh! You guys? What I knew was that I was never going to force a wannabe ghost ops orthodoxy ever again. Briggs, terminate this contrivance, post-haste!"
"Every attempt at disengaging only reinforces the connection?" the Operations officer panicked, sitting up from his regular checkup, on the next biobed, and tapping frantically at its surgical bridge controls.
Nelkast arched his brow from the tiny viewscreen. "We know you feel we abandoned your ship's previous Captain to the annals of Starfleet bureaucracy, two years ago, but active clandestine remodeling in Starfleet's dark era is not as efficient as it used to be."
"Goddammit, they're still talking," Seifer gritted as he found a nearby console and began hitting it randomly. "Make them stop. Make them stop!"
Elena pushed, "Due to said-times and our audacious forced existence, it should be clear our desperation requires a mandatory mission, if you choose to accept, of your upcoming Ba'ul/Trill facilitation."
"Sir, as a Doctor, my kind does come into work armed with lobotomy and amputation laser guns, coupled with an experimental temperament?" Xyrenia offered with rising hope and Seifer's quickly nodded permission.
While the Deltan haste-burned a hot laser beam into the dental monitor, a picture-warping Nelkast rushed to finish his excitable-black ops pitch. "Section 31 is still relevant! You are to report on any anti-Federation intents by the Ba'ul or their Kelpien counterpar—"
"They're gone, but not before an enervated off-the-books lament," leaned Briggs in relief. "Are they insomniac by nature? You did this a lot with your old crew, right?"
Seifer slumped in the dental chair, relieved. "I would destroy ten non-recoverable life-saving medical devices if it meant snuffing them out. The Phoenix-X used to accept their implausible missions and far-fetched technologies all the time out of misplaced, immoral obligation. We were bred from the Dominion War, so we the-ends-justified-the-means'd all the time for the greater good."
"Then you woke up from their perpetual infractions and now you abhor them," Xyrenia surmised. "Like a terrible version of yourself you suppress through constant social media addiction. If we even still have that in the 24th century?"
The Captain nodded. "We do and, exactly right. Perhaps we're too deep under our Section 31 history by now for moral high-grounding, but the consolation is our Starfleet-level altruistic climb-out from regular chess-gaming and illegal black badge sweatshops."
"Yeah, the badges exposed them every time. Why were some of those guys so bad at undercover?" Briggs wondered. "They recruited a Boimler once?"
Seifer waved it off. "They recruited misfit Nanokins and horribly organized, unageing Terrans with a Captain Garrett kink. But we don't talk about that."
---
Later, the Phoenix-X dropped transwarp to approach the gas giant Nehvia and one of its moon colonies Tivien before transporting several crew and then jumping back out of there.
"Appreciate you joining us, Captain," opened Admiral Cloud as Seifer, Veker and Elly stepped off the transporter pad and walked with him through the corridors. "You’re still a Captain, right? Your symbiont hasn’t rejected the promotion yet, has it?"
Seifer shook his head. "Still frozen and unrecallable. I even went back in time and fought Ensign Chekov to see if his multi stomach punches would do anything. Nothing."
"He tried that on Klingons once. It was hilarious. Anyway, what concerns me most about this mission is your claim of Section 31 intentions. We were supposed to be done with that overused cloak-and-dagger mishmash on grounds of them never doing themselves right. I regret ever being brainwashed by them so, if you see anything, get us the evidence we need to condemn them once and for all."
The Captain perked. "But they would just cover that up?"
"You know not to contradict your superiors! Now, I’m off to appease the science and Trill dignitaries who will be watching all of you from the viewing windows, like a creepy Talosian marketplace or something. You get analogies."
---
Seifer, Veker and Elly entered a large rocky cavern with three functional Trill symbiont pools and several Trill and Ba’ul engineers working on attached tech near a large audience viewport.
"This is weird. Science is not entertainment and is to be done in the darkness of shame," Veker noted. "At least, that is Kelpien practice."
Elly looked around at all the black-gooey Ba’ul, walking everywhere at work. "The floors are a mess! This is the worst security job I’ve had since that horta ball-pit for adults."
"Rumor is their heat causes appreciation. You know what I mean," came the sly intersection of Elena in a Starfleet uniform. "Ensign Elena of the U.S.S. Ragnarok. Nice to see you, Captain."
Seifer pointed. "Dammit, Section 31. If you're already here to weed out anti-Federation detriment, what do you even need us for?"
"Your frozen symbiont affords you mental clarity in this thick neurological patchwork of telesthesia. Without a proper pool balance, all those messed up Trill symbiont visions hit even the non-Trill."
Veker held a hand to his head. "She's right. I'm sensing embarrassing 'thanks, you too' memories of symbionts at worm restaurants responding to their 'enjoy your meal'-wishing waiters."
"Oh, that is the worst," Elly agreed as she followed him to a workstation. "I just heard a symbiont misread a taxi hail as a hello."
Seifer sighed. "They have this whole weird life in those pools before joining. No one ever talks about it. Also, didn’t the Ragnarok go rogue and start patrolling outside Federation space?"
"We were in the Qiris sector, walking a fine line between the surreptitious protection of Vashti and covert support of the Fenris Rangers," Elena splurted in disgust. "Both, a complete waste of resources but, at some point, the Captain has to rein it in to maintain some semblance of jurisdiction."
The Trill looked at her. "How is helping others a pain point for you? Who are you?"
"I’m sure you’d like to hear that my trust issues stem from officer betrayal to bluegill parasites when I served the Renegade, but a clear-cut back story would be somewhat provincial, wouldn’t it?" Elena jabbed.
Seifer rolled his eyes. "It would be a backstory. That’s the point."
"The point, Captain, is that this whole operation is bogus," came the approach of Trill Ambassador Krenok, wearing long robes and prompting Elena to operate elsewhere. "Your Admiral reassures us that working with the Ba'ul's expertise in fluidic control will secure proper symbiont pool balance but I say this whole endeavour is an unholy blasphemy that crosses the line ten times over."
The Starfleet officer shrugged. "It's my understanding the progressive side of Trill politics seeking surrogate forms of longevity has been improving the betterment of symbionts. The government agrees."
"Like the way you've treated your symbionts? Losing Gotens, defying science through embezzling Seifer, mutating Seifer and then freezing Seifer? You know you're banned from the home world, right!?" the Ambassador ravished before walking away.
Veker took notice of Seifer when he walked over. "I can't return to my Kelpien home either, Captain," Veker reassured while at work. "With the taste of Starfleet operational culture, I just can't deal with the weird, flouty, over-dramatized side of it all."
"I'm fine. We all learned to appreciate imperfection after the whole Borg thing came back several times over until it was done to death," the Trill Captain waved. "Like, get it right the first time, am I right?"
The Science officer’s eyes went simultaneously wide at what he was likewise reading off his console. "In this case, I wholeheartedly agree. You see, the Ba’ul chemical and gravimetric optimizations of these Trill pools are thorough and sensitive, indeed, but I’m reading a rising harmonic distortion of some kind."
"Don’t tell the Trill elders yet," came the approach of the wet, black-goo, drippy lead Ba’ul technician. "My name is John and fixing this unexpected issue is tantamount to proving our successful relationship here."
Seifer moved his foot away. "Ah! You’re getting splur all over the place. Also, John? A human name?"
"The splur is their way, Captain," approached Yenzin, a Kelpien engineer. "Some take off-world names as a show of appreciation for the larger galaxy but also spludge around in a maintain of their gooey cultural identity. Also, his uncle was named John."
Veker recognized the other Kelpien. "Yenzin! My grade school classmate and friend? It certainly has been some time and, before you ask, no I have not engaged the vahar’ai yet."
"Well, that explains your threat ganglia going crazy right now," Yenzin blinked. "Bro! Didn’t you get my long-range messages when you were at the Academy? We have to on that puberty-like evolution-jump, STAT, right after drinks, parties and strippers!"
Seifer did a double-take. "Hold on a second. That evolutionary thing the Ba’ul nearly genocided you over, a century ago, is now akin to a bachelor/Bar Mitzvah party? Is that why you won’t return to your home world? Also, are the pools supposed to be bubbling like that?"
The group looked to find the swimming symbionts morphing and flinging tentacles around and out, nearly whipping some of the walking-passed engineers. Upon realization, every engineer, including John and Yenzin, rushed to a control to investigate in panic!
"Reading a destabilization of the Primary Habitation Pool," Veker reported in a tizzy to Seifer. "The harmonic distortion has increased and is effecting every balance system they have going. Unable to locate its source thus far."
Elena approached. "This is clearly sabotage by the Ba’ul. I say we book them. Also, we should bring back the booking of people."
"Why are you worse without Nelkast? Is this separation the result of the dark times? John and the Kelpiens have every reason to succeed here to prove unity of their people to the rest of the galactic community. No, this is clearly Ambassador Krenok."
Suddenly, Elena was grabbed by the waist by a flinging symbiont tentacle and dragged toward the pools. Several other Kelpien and Starfleet engineers were also snatched and each humanoid struggled under the sudden super-symbiont strength.
"My deduction is based on his animosity toward any kind of symbiont pool expansion and this turn of events confirms his derelict amplification and betrayal of Trill culture," Seifer concluded while quickly working at nearby controls before Admiral Cloud rushed over.
He rubbed his head. "Alright, I retract the Section 31 grind in favor of the immediate threat. As a Captain, your versatile skillset surely includes peril management."
"If I can modify the pools, I may be able to reverse them," Seifer surmised as he worked. "I was just adding depth with action. It’s called good writing— That is, if one were to transpose real life events as narrative. Which, I don’t. I’m not weird," he chuckled, unconvincingly, before Cloud’s neck was slapped with a gripping tentacle. "Elly, cut the tentacles! Don’t worry. They’re retachable."
The Admiral wedged fingers to prevent choking as Elly phaser beamed him free. "Thank you! Tell me, you don't think Section 31 still brainwashes me, do you?" But, before he could get an answer, his feet were pulled away by the loose tentacle, dragging him toward the pools, along side Ambassador Krenok.
"Wait a second. Section 31? Veker, by chance, is this harmonic distortion just a reconfigured Myriad codec?" the Captain queried as he dodged a tentacle that, instead, grabbed Elly and pulled her away. "That covert plod once accidentally turned said-codec into a distortion on Rigel VII when they tried to re-purpose it as a search string."
Confirming, Veker replied as his waist was wrapped in a tentacle, "Yes, a codec is a tool and not signal and why does it sound made up and only ever mentioned right now for plot purposes?"
"That’s how deus ex machinas work! Nothing is really connected to anything, nor has any actual meaning, unless it facilitates surface-level action or special effects," Seifer said, taking over the console as Veker was pulled away. Seconds later, the distortion was stabilized and all the tentacles let go of their attempted hosts.
Krenok stumbled over. "Your people did this, Captain. Now it's going to take forever to reverse the symbiont mutations and speak to each telesthesian manager about the food here at this restaurant. The Trill government will hear of this! Actually, this looks good for my shut-down intents and conservative values. Thanks for that."
"Please offload this so-called Myriad codec from our systems," John requested as Krenok exited and John squeegeed over, joined by Yenzin. "It looks like the distortions caused the symbionts to adopt Ba'ul aggressive tendencies from our gravitic and chemical alterations, and that reflects poorly upon Kelpien-Ba'ul delineation. Also, I'm working through my own Kelpien-targeted annihilistic suppressions."
Yenzin halted in momentary shock for his life. "Yeah, that. Soon, please. As well, I'm glad to see you were not Trill-hosted like a few of the other Kelpiens here, Lieutenant Commander Veker."
"You know what? Between potential Ba'ul suppression and Trill life-extending, life is too short to indulge doubts. Let's do the vahar’ai. Science is entertainment!" Veker announced.
The other Kelpien did a double-take. "Bro, we are going to do so many shots, so much powdered-based illegal drugs off strippers and chair lift you at the peak of our family-friendly, traditional folk dance! Ree-joo mayzka!"
"I'm so confused about what you guys are now in the 24th century," Seifer blinked as he moved the codec to an isolinear chip and Yenzin and John exited before Elena limped over. "But I did figure out what Section 31 was doing here. You were searching the database for Mayhem."
Elena gritted her teeth. "Using the Myriad codec was an escalation of need, worth the potential expenditure of whatever was going on here. You were supposed to provide us plausible deniability. Damn. I guess I really did need Nelkast."
"Mayhem was a bitter virus and hologram that served the Phoenix-X as an Intelligence officer before taking on a Section 31 mission to Sigma Iota II, three years ago," Seifer explained to a confused Veker. "Perhaps Section 31 can do some semblance of relevancy after all."
The cover-Ensign added, "Our asset was later extracted by a Ba'ul/Kelpien starship and the technology within this facility matched that. Your new mission is to follow through and support Veker's vahar’ai for clandestine purposes."
"I'm not sure I like being used by the unsanctioned, disreputable organization that you've been railing against since we started, Captain, but I'm so revved up in excitement of biological character change that I do not care," Veker admitted to Seifer after Elena was apprehended by security and Elly. Next, Admiral Cloud approached.
Captain Seifer sighed. "I just wanted to be done with those guys and not uncover an even further thing with them. You let her do this, didn't you?"
"It was the only way to keep them in my sights!" Cloud countered. "Besides, we can still squash that force-fed reclusive cockroach-like institution if we can secure the unsuppressable evidence of their virus Mayhem and get his testimony." He shifted, uncomfortably. "None of our own testimonies would work because of all the copyright music strikes on our Starfleet log accounts."
Seifer shook his head. "Why is everyone so obsessed with gaining followers on those? And tagging sponsors and getting monetized? We're supposed to be a cashless, carefree utopia! Never mind. The lesson here is, we're the problem and, because of these dark times, everyone else is going to suffer more from us if we don't do something about it."
"Very poignant and heart-wrenching to my missteps, Captain," Admiral Cloud noticed. "But, diluting perceptions of paradise and self-ego is what this is all about. So, carry on. The success of this moon Tivien means there may be hope for those affected by our organizational deformities after all."
He walked on with a wet leg limp as the entire facility got back to Ba'ul pool stabilizing and Kelpien symbiont therapy.
TO BE CONTINUED
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The tenacious and treacherous tentacle trap's transparency tricked the intrepid trekkers trying to tred Trill traditions. 
-Will
-Will
Too true that!The tenacious and treacherous tentacle trap's transparency tricked the intrepid trekkers trying to tred Trill traditions.
-Will
While your stories are fanciful and your style deliberately farcical, you do go to a lot of effort to keep your readers oriented into your Trekverse timeline.
Thanks!! rbs
It's more fun that way!
Author's notes: This continues in the year 2393 and is the second part of Episode 95. This story-section was not really meant to be a contest entry, but it seems to have lined up with this month's Trek BBS challenge theme, so I entered it there as well. This was written in August 2026.
July/August 2026 Challenge: Ceremony. Any Star Trek series, era, canon, non-canon, ships, crews or characters welcome.
Star Trek: Phoenix-X
"Duplicitous Dispossession, Part II"
The steady, obelisk-shaped black Ba’ul sentry vessel Kaleidoscope dropped out of warp from its majestic course for home. Its Captain Rolandu accepted Seifer, Elly and Veker onto its Bridge.
"We are grateful for the opportunity to rekindle this Kelpien with his home land, as the Great Balance would have it," the dripping, gooey Rolandu proclaimed from his wet Bridge chair.
Seifer blinked. "Honestly, you do realize you have wet floor signs on every deck, in every section, all the time, right?"
"It’s a part of who they are, Captain," Veker acquiesced with a hint of distaste. "Along with the perpetuation that the Great Balance religifies and excuses the Ba’ul from nearly genociding my Kelpien people."
As the Kaleidoscope rotated and reintegrated into Kaminar’s orbital Ba’ul stronghold, Ba’ul engineer John began to lead the group off the ship and into the main superstructure.
"Actually, both the Ba’ul and Kelpiens, on the whole, agree that the revelation of the culling, 136 years ago, itself was part of the Great Balance re-balancing itself on a balantic scale," John said as they entered a large control room. "Majority believe it’s a real thing. Same way I was confident to hand-off my Trill symbiont pool stabilization efforts on Tivien to join you here now."
Seifer noticed they were all walking in a half-inch of black goo. "Ugh."
"You’ll get used to it," sogged the offer from Captain Cid, a trim-bearded human and Starfleet officer who splashed around to join Seifer as John led the others off to explain the systems. "So, Starfleet has handed off this mission to you now? I stand relieved, sir."
Seifer shook his head. "A little excited there, Mr. Jumpy? But, yeah, once they heard Veker was interested in his vahar’ai, they gave me the next shift on Kaminar Orbital Defence to purge its systems of an apparent computer infection."
"I haven’t had any luck the past few weeks, but the Federation wants to someday have this world join our receding multi-species community, so we’re helping. Also, your arrest of an agent and claim of the Section 31 asset called Mayhem being taken by the Ba’ul/Kelpiens makes it even more obvious he is being held here somewhere."
The Trill nodded. "It’s never subtle with virus holograms, like you pretending to work from home when, in fact, your real efforts are with your ship the Ragnarok and the Fenris Rangers in the Qiris sector."
"Hey! I get to work with Seven of Nine sometimes. But, also, yeah. It used to be unheard of for Starfleet to lend Ranger support here and there. It’s even more rare now but I just do it because pulling out of the Romulan Neutral Zone and creating a power vacuum there was our doing. Seven knows what I’m talking about. We’re on a first name basis."
As he walked away, a rolling-eye Seifer was approached by Section 31 Agent Nelkast in a Starfleet uniform. "Of course you’re here to give me some cockamamie reason I’m needed anyway. You know I’m not playing anymore, right?"
"It’s Lieutenant to you!" Nelkast deadpanned. "And if you ever want to see your former crew Mayhem safe again, you’ll find him before his program is purged by the Ba’ul or the Kelpiens. I didn’t spend years as a low-level, under-appreciated data-miner in the Federation Bureau of Industrialization to see Section 31 deteriorated now. Some of your officers from the Phoenix-X have arrived on the shuttle Dracon to assist us."
Seifer gritted, "You seem worse without Elena." But, before he could grab Nelkast, he was interrupted—
"Captain, we’ve begun a search string using another virus schematic from the Phoenix-X database, called Amp," came the approach of Lieutenant Briggs. "Apparently, we had more virus holograms serve on the ship before?"
Suddenly noticing Nelkast had disappeared, Seifer conceded, "Not just him. We had a problem with downloading copyrighted movies from Orion pirate servers. It was a different time then. We don’t do that anymore." He checked the status on a nearby console. "Well, this is going to take a while. Perhaps we’ll be able to join Veker’s drunken-elegant mashup vahar’ai after all. Is it raunchy or graceful? Like, am I wearing a hoodie or a tie?"
---
Later, on an evening beach, in the Kelpien village of Agin, near some giant cliff-sides, several of Veker’s friends and some Starfleet officers stood around with shot glasses to cheers him.
"Over a century ago, our people discovered the gift of vahar’ai and its benefits of us not being killed by it," Yenzin began as he lifted his shot glass. "Today, we celebrate the elegant choice of what some other species may call induced puberty. My friend Veker and I were fist-bumping bros before he went off to Starfleet Academy. To a past version of him that I once knew! Shots! Shots! Shots!"
As everyone downed their shots, they were quickly replenished by the fast-moving bartender, Nelkast. Before Seifer could object, he finally tasted what he had drank. "Ugh! Is this coffee liqueur mixed with pickle juice??"
"Greetings all," interrupted John the Ba’ul. "I have not known Veker that long but, as a recovering xeno-maladaptive ideator trying purge my biological essentialistic desires of culling Kelpiens, I hereby lead the first family-friendly exploration, the Lantern Drift." As everyone was handed a lantern and directed to the water’s edge, he continued, "Each lantern represents something we leave behind. Fear. Childhood. Old grudges."
Veker placed his down along with everyone else. "My own distrust of conniving, lying Kelpien-sushi eating Ba’ul in general."
"Now it’s Predator Hour. Let’s gooooooo!" announced a drunken Yenzin as he led everyone over to a nearby haunted house and outfitted people with absurd costumes from Kaminar mythology. "The monsters chase the prey and every spook harkens back to a savage time that we celebrate with a drink! Yeeeaahhh!"
With the chaos of everyone chasing everyone else, a costumed Seifer was quickly grabbed by a costumed female Kelpien. "My name is Tristene, and I was once Veker’s love before he ran away from his obligations here. Now that he is back, you must help him find balance."
"We actually need his support in our thing? Finding a computer virus?" Seifer negotiated.
She clutched his shoulders to get his attention. "Think about all that is going on right now. Veker just deciding to come here after years of avoiding? He’s hiding something. This is disequilibrium. This is Kelpien vertigo."
"BAH!" came the drunken roar from a giddy costumed Veker jumping out to surprise newcomer John in a comical reversal of biological roles, forcing the Ba’ul to reluctantly take a shot of rum mixed with Worcestershire sauce.
Despite being slopped in gooey, black splur, John's disgust of the shot was so thorough, he failed to register the transition to the nearby caves for the next event.
"And, now, the final Reed Lift, but this time in a cave, because the elders weaved it without thinking about how they were going to take it out," Yenzin declared as a visibly diluted Veker was strung up by a new Ba’ul group’s black goo tendrils, forcing Veker onto a lifted circular thick grass mat.
Seifer stepped in. "Everyone stop! Lieutenant Veker, you want us to believe this is all going wrong so I’ll beam us out and get you back to the Phoenix-X, don’t you? You’re faking your sacred puberty ceremony and you’re hiding Mayhem."
"Captain, I’m impressed. I did not mean to insult your intelligence," a restrained Veker perked, now appearing completely sober. "But Kelpiens got to Kelpien."
Suddenly, one of the new Ba’ul flickered into a gruff human-looking deep-voiced virus hologram. "It’s because you agreeing to a vahar’ai and returning to your home world is not believable through attestations of reluctance."
"Mayhem! You were created by Section 31 to inspect ships before an Iconian probe on the Phoenix-X turned you virus and, after serving with us for some time, were trusted to be sent on further missions elsewhere," Seifer blurted.
The virus did a double-take. "I was not expecting that much palpable exposition in front of all these people. But, yes, after Wallace and I realized said-agency were attempting to burn off past assets, we escaped and the Kelpiens allowed me to hide here."
"As a caring species, years ago, Yenzin convinced me to assist in facilitating said-efforts but, when he suggested I undergo vahar’ai the other day, it was code that the agency was onto us," Veker continued.
Stepping out of the shadows, Nelkast revealed himself. "And don’t expect to be freed from your restraints just because you’ve come clean of your activities. Section 31 always has clandestine business, therefore I’m ordering you to destroy Mayhem now."
"Ugh!" Seifer struggled as he tried to reach out and grasp the agent but, along with everyone else, became suddenly held in additional Ba’ul tendrils. "Why are you always just outside of grabbing range??"
John gritted in Ba’ul intolerance as he and the other Kaminar peers were tendriled by the Cave Ba’uls too. "Murder is the complete opposite of the new Great Balance and I need to oversee the maintaining of this unifying ideology to overcome my own essentialist tendencies. Also, how can my fellow Ba’ul be on the side of these vu’kal?"
"My fault again, John," Veker conceded. "In Yenzin and mine’s shared-induced animosity, I refused to acknowledge their request to return here after Starfleet Academy and show appreciation for all the science I learned in these caves. You see, the natural rock here acts as a computational database and holo-emitter."
Seifer perked. "So, you guys hid Mayhem in the Agin Caves, likely without Ba’ul permission, recklessly forcing his viral anarchy upon their culture, disrupting Federation/Kaminar relations in both directions. Slow clap."
"Hey! I tried to help out around here," the viral hologram in civilian clothing refuted. "Defragging the cabinets, replenishing the user accepted cookies. But, yeah, their black goo-based java makers were not functioning at peek playback efficiency. But claims of harming relations would be greatly exaggerated."
Suddenly, Captain Cid entered the caves. "Hey! Am I late for the lifting festivities? Who’s got buff arms, am I right? Is the Jewish community okay with this?" But, upon visual absorption, he realized what was going on. "Ohhh, it’s the end twists. One of those. Allow me to add. You see, Starfleet Intelligence arranged to hide Mayhem here, to protect an ambiguously legal sentient being and, seemingly more importantly, as an oppose to Section 31. It would have been in your welcoming packet if you took a moment to read it, Captain Seifer."
"Reading, of course," countered Nelkast. "The Starfleet bureaucratic way of doing labouring, but legally dead since Mars was set on fire and the Romulan star exploded. Your retraction of resources rippled down through Starfleet Intelligence and then, surprisingly, to Section 31, thus proving the ineffectiveness of over-organizational governance. You should know the advantages of clandestine approach, Seifer, having proven this along side us before."
Seifer rolled his eyes before strength-forcing his tentacled arm to grab and open his tricorder. "Yeah, I kind of figured we were going full elitist non-oversight and, due to said proving, I repurposed your stolen Myriad codec— Originally a subspace transmission line, turned into a disruptive search string— Now a multi-focal location ping and transporter tag bull’s-eye of illicit operators of Section 31. Now that I know this cave serves as a computer, we’ve got you."
"Trying to out-reveal me, are you?" gritted a rising-anger Nelkast, who held up a hypospray and began injecting his allied Cave Ba’ul. "Impossible, as I have also repurposed a thing. In fact, our failed Dominion prisoner of war Changeling experimentations have been passed onto this Ba’ul group for maximum morphegenic tentacling! Further example of pure surreptitious bliss."
As the Cave Ba’ul extended even more and larger tentacles out onto everyone for maximum and overdone tentacle, and now Cid, Seifer gestured his gripped head. "I knew you would attempt to modify the gooey drip-drenched Changeling-wannabes, and somehow one-up the other day’s Trill symbiont tentacle snap, so I had this cave outfitted with standard Starfleet phaser torches."
"Hah!" Nelkast repulsefied as the torches mechanically popped up from nearby rocks and began targeting and phasering to break off Ba’ul tentacles. "You know they'll just grow back, right? Also, my assumption of your engineering attempt was justified as I have previously easily set up a counter to that through attaching Philippa Georgiou phase pods on all of them!"
Suddenly, the beams stopped cutting tentacles and just passed through, harmlessly, prompting the Ba’ul to reassert their additional and over-the-top tentacles onto everyone. "Ugh, how could you mine that repulsive style-over-substance Alpha Team disconnect? Also, are we borderline ceremonial in our constant Section 31 twists? Never mind. Have you tried this?" Seifer switched. "Hey, Ba’ul, what are you doing?"
"Actually, we’re not sure," one of the Cave Ba’ul answered, letting go of Tristene. "My name is Bhren, and I was just going with the flow, working with whoever seemed to be on our side. We actually lost track. We were unhappy about Veker and his using us to store Mayhem, but not enough to escalate cloak-and-dagger egregiousness. Also, dude, genetically modifying us without our consent? What the Soong?"
Nelkast watched in shock as all the Cave Ba’ul retracted their tentacles, only to fling them onto capturing him instead. They then helped Veker off the circular grass reed mat. The Kelpien shirked, "Eh, I’m sorry for disrespecting your home all these years, Bhren, and lying to everyone about not undergoing vahar’ai. I did it years ago at Quark’s Deep Space 9 bar on a dare from Morn. Everything I have done here has been completely non-Kelpien of me. "
"It’s almost Ba’ul," Bhren replied, understandingly. "Apology accepted as long as we can become not just friends, but found family. We shall propose this outrageous one-up-a-thon to be a part of Kaminar's future Federation-joining ceremony. It shall represent competition, secrets, and revelations of both into truths."
Veker nodded but was interrupted once again as Elena entered the caves to see the failed mission. "Nelkast, you idiot. You bunkered this up just as Seifer’s crew has done many times in the past! If you people are wondering how I escaped my holding cell, a Ferengi ally gave me a forcefield nail file in a purple cake. It was adorable."
"Perhaps Elena and I do work better together, Captain Seifer," Nelkast suggested as he hyposprayed the tentacles gripping him, reversing the morphegenic effects and causing them to shrink and retract and let him go. "As our goal here is to burn all our assets, we shall move onto the largest one in our proverbial repository, our transwarp-enabled U.S.S. Phoenix-X."
Seifer’s eyes suddenly went wide. "What are you talking about? There are people on that ship!"
"You know how far we go with things, and it almost always is too of said distancing. Our agency is a playground of covert nonsensical chaos. Never forget that. Kaleidoscope, two to beam up!" Elena countered as she tapped her black commbadge and both she and Nelkast were transported away.
Cid walked over. "The more this underground Obsidian Order/Tal Shiar-wannabe agency asserts itself upon us, the further from the vision of a sparse spy-thriller secrecy they become until they’re just an action-based non-brain enemy to be fired at. Join me on the Ragnarok and we'll stop them in this state, Captain. Use it to our advantage."
"It does seem their natural progression. Thanks, Captain Cid," the Trill conceded. "Even with the Phoenix-X being my home for nearly two decades, thanks to Section 31 nativity, I can’t let it recede back into their anencephalic decrepitude. Action packed brainrot it is, then."
Nodding in agreement, Cid, Veker and everyone got to work cleaning up the caves, making amends and preparing to depart Kaminar in chase as John exited and the Kaleidoscope decoupled from the Orbital Defence superstructure and jumped to warp.
TO BE CONCLUDED
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Always some little gem to be found in these stories. Thanks!! rbs
