Passing away...personal experiences

[propita]

My father was being monitored for cancer ("We'll test you again in a year."), and 6 weeks after he had an endoscopy, he died from cancer that suddenly was in almost every major organ and he was bleeding out internally half his body's blood supply. We suspect they erred during the endoscopy, punctured something, and the blood spread the cancer. I don't know if things work that way, so if someone knows better, feel free to let me know.

Anyway, I got there before the end. He knew I was there, but couldn't really respond. At the end, the meds were maxed out, forcing his heart to pump; machines were helping him finish every breath. Mom was at his side when they turned off the machines, with my Hubby at her side to provide support if she needed it. My brother and I stood there, watching our beloved Father die.

While waiting for the mortuary personnel to take him, we sat there and Mom told us funny stories of how they met and their lives together. At his graveside funeral, it absolutely poured rained the entire time; never saw so much rain.

I was sad to see him go when I thought it was too soon. But I would stand by my Mom and ease her pain anytime, even if she were dying. If I'm there when Hubby dies, I think I'd be willing to just die there with him. I can't imagine continuing without him.

 

[SmoothieX]

^ I hear ya. If my wife suddenly just up and went, I'd think about taking a stroll in front of a city bus too.

 

[propita]

I don’t think I could do that to the bus driver. But I’d consider something. Hubby and I have no kids. While we do have family and friends, I can’t imagine them being so disconsolate that it would derail their lives. Some have said, “I/We need you,” but seriously, they have their own lives and we’re not that important to them.

 

[exodus]

I don’t think I could do that to the bus driver. But I’d consider something. Hubby and I have no kids. While we do have family and friends, I can’t imagine them being so disconsolate that it would derail their lives. Some have said, “I/We need you,” but seriously, they have their own lives and we’re not that important to them.

Don't underestimate your importance to those you call friends. The loss of you and your Hubby creates a void within a group of friends that can never be replaced. You're important and you matter more than you know.

 

[ed629]

I've been around/seen a few people die. Never felt or sensed anything when they did, not passing of a spirit or a presence. They weren't anyone close, one was a complete stranger, he ran a stop on a motorcycle and got hit by a car. He popped up in the air and landed pretty much in front of me. Another one got run over by a front end loader when he jump started it from underneath and it ran his head over, last one got hit by a car when he stepped out in front of it. Other than feeling bad for them, it didn't really affect me, no loss of sleep, no bad dreams, about the only thing it changed in me is that I double check when stopping at stop signs, and make certain there are not any cars coming when I cross a street.

Seriously, you saw all this and it didn't bother you at all?

I saw a woman get hit by a car once, she flew though the air like a rag doll. I couldn't sleep for a week.

The motorcycle guy, he was showing off so I was thinking to myself "That dumb fuck is going to get himself killed" and he did, so that one was sort of expected but still sort of surprising. The Other two, it happened and they were both more of a surprise but not much else. More like watching tv or something, I did see the image(s) in my head for a bit, but they didn't keep me awake or anything.