Partially Dead

[Outpost4]

It's a tragic event, with somebody killed, but still, it's a great headline. From today's edition of my local paper, the La Crosse Tribune:

Pickup vs. semi fatality in Trempealeau County

I'm going to send this one into Jay Leno.


(and it's pronounced Tremp-e-low. Trempealeau is also the name of a quaint village right on a beautiful stretch of the Upper Mississippi River. You should visit it sometime.)

 

[Omnius]

I'm glad to hear the Love of Milwaukee was not injured. (Whatever that might be..)

 

[Outpost4]

My paper is full of these kind of stories. The best was a few years ago. In another terrible incident, a young man accidentally shot his friend and killed him while they were out hunting. About three paragraphs down in the story was the line, "he came out from behind a tree and I thought he was a squirrel."

You thought your buddy was a squirrel?

Maybe this is a tale I shouldn't be telling around Omnius.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

I think that one would land in the reject pile with the people who prepare Leno's Headlines. It's not an outlandish enough choice of words to make you go "How come no one caught on to how this would sound?" and the presence of the "vs" makes it obvious that "semi" is connected to "pick-up" rather than "fatality."

Plus, Jay Leno sucks. That has no connection to the article or previous posts, I just feel obligated to point that out every time a Leno-related comment comes up. 'Headlines' is funny, though, in spite of his involvement.

 

[Outpost4]

You're no fun, but probably right.

Another great La Crosse Tribune headline was when Philip Schulth was taken into custody after a tense, fifteen hour stand-off with police. Inside Schulth's home, the cops found a surprise. Schulth's mom had died a few years earlier, and in order to keep collecting her social security and because he thought he might have killed her, Schulth kept her at home after she died. The headline in the paper?

Schulth to cops: Mom's in the freezer

You can work for newspapers your entire life and never get to write a headline like that.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

Sorry, I didn't mean to be a buzzkill. I was hoping for a 'Princess Bride' "mostly dead" kind of deal.

You should still submit it though, what the hell? I just wouldn't get your hopes up of it making it on the air.

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

Where's Miracle Max when you need him?

Here's a couple others that I found

Ruler Can't Measure Johnson's Impact

Obama to Tap Clinton After Thanksgiving

 

[What's his face]

A long time ago I read about an event going on at the local pubic school.