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Paper money is gross.

Which is why we need space money:

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QUIDs

Well that's a bit daft, the UK uses Quids already.

£1 = a quid.

This is going to cause confusion.

They should call them SQUIDS, the S standing for space.... Space QUIDS.

Well, the name is a backronym ;)
 
The chips in Vegas leave me with the feelings you describe, more so thank banknotes. I think it's because I play with them, then start to see the grime.

Move past the mere physical grime and think of the psychological dirt associated with those chips, and then you'll really start to feel ill. ;)
 
I do hope that doesn't hold true while you're behind a bar, otherwise you're violating every health code in existence in the State of Illinois. :p

In an effort to save toilet paper, I wipe my ass with my bar towel.

Sweet!

For your next trick, chalkboard a special that has your forehead sweat as an extra ingredient.
I do that already for people who like extra salty margaritas.

And tequila shots. Forget salt; I just lay my balls out on the bar for people to lick.
 
There's a cute liittle Asian girl who works at the bakery around the corner from me. Poor thing was burned in a fire as a child so she doesn't get much attention and is often seen crying into the dough she is working.

Well, someone befriended her, she got happier, and then the bread at this bakery started to taste bad.

Turned out her tears were adding salt to the bread which made it taste good and her having a boyfriend made her so happy she stopped crying!

Crazy, crazy world.
 
As an accountant for a hotel, I count money every day I am at work and I have to agree that it is disgusting. I can't help but wonder where all those grubby bills have been.

But that's the fun part! Haven't there been studies where they've tracked where bills go through their lifetime or something? I find that incredibly fascinating.

It's like looking up at an old apartment building and thinking about all of the lives and stories that have passed through it.

At some point, just accept the fact it's a dirty world and that much of it won't harm you in the least!

So stop worrying and get on with life. Important things ... like making sure Rove and Cheney serve some hard time before they die.

The old wise one is wise. People are way too obsessed with cleanliness. My motive behind being clean has more to do with not wanting to stink or look like shit than it does with preventing diseases. That is to say, the rule of law for me is vanity, not health. :D
 
I know that you're a Wannabe Mythbuster and all, but I'm gonna go ahead and take the word of the Swiss virologists who conducted the study over you, mmkay? :p

Viruses cannot survive outside of a host cell.

LINK

Unlike human cells or bacteria, viruses do not contain the chemical machinery (enzymes) needed to carry out the chemical reactions for life. Instead, viruses carry only one or two enzymes that decode their genetic instructions. So, a virus must have a host cell (bacteria, plant or animal) in which to live and make more viruses. Outside of a host cell, viruses cannot function. For this reason, viruses tread the fine line that separates living things from nonliving things. Most scientists agree that viruses are alive because of what happens when they infect a host cell.

It's amazing that those fools at CERN bothered to build the Large Hadron Collider when they could have just come to the meat department at your grocery store and unlocked all the secrets of the universe right there while ordering some pastrami.
 
I know that you're a Wannabe Mythbuster and all, but I'm gonna go ahead and take the word of the Swiss virologists who conducted the study over you, mmkay? :p

Viruses cannot survive outside of a host cell.

LINK

Unlike human cells or bacteria, viruses do not contain the chemical machinery (enzymes) needed to carry out the chemical reactions for life. Instead, viruses carry only one or two enzymes that decode their genetic instructions. So, a virus must have a host cell (bacteria, plant or animal) in which to live and make more viruses. Outside of a host cell, viruses cannot function. For this reason, viruses tread the fine line that separates living things from nonliving things. Most scientists agree that viruses are alive because of what happens when they infect a host cell.

It's amazing that those fools at CERN bothered to build the Large Hadron Collider when they could have just come to the meat department at your grocery store and unlocked all the secrets of the universe right there while ordering some pastrami.

If they came to my department and asked for some pastrami I'd simply redirect them to the deli.
 
If paper money is gross than I wouldn't mind being grossed out a whole halluva lot more than I currently am. =)
 
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