01. A venti-sized explosion at a Starbucks.
02. Pootin will rear his head in Alaska, and will be shot and mounted in Sarah Palin's house.
03. An earthquake on the Moon.
04. Boxey is the final Cylon.
05. Danger around Gary Coalman.
06. Xenu will return... in the hit sequel 'Xenu II: Thetan Bugaloo.'
07. Something that happened in Vegas will not stay in Vegas.
08. Millions will die from catching the feva for the flava of a Pringles.
09. A comet will hit Tunguska again, proving that God is on hiatus and it's rerun season.
10. Family jewels will be stolen by bitter ex-wife.
11. Cold War between the US and Buster Poindexter will get Hot, Hot, Hot.
12. Bjork will wear a dress made of actual living koalas to the Grammys.
13. A movie about a retarded gay orphan from Afghanistan will sweep the Oscars.
14. France will invade Monaco.
15. Explosion at a Diet Coke & Mentos factory will be deemed "avoidable."
16. Andy Dick will become the first US ambassador to Antarctica.
17. Former President Bush will finally realize his last name also has a sexual meaning and laugh for days.
18. Puerto Rico will adapt Rico Suave as its new anthem.
19. Cheese will suddenly lose its flavor.
20. The Burger King will abdicate his throne to marry commoner and divorcee Wendy.
21. An inventor will create a practical flying car and use it only to fly over others, making fun of their lack of flying cars.
22. The Flinstones will be used as evidence to prove Young Earth Creationism.
23. Bill O'Reilly will be tried for war crimes at The Hague in the aftermath of the War on Christmas.
24. Fire will ironically consume St. Elmo, Alabama.
25. The energy crisis is averted when GM creates a car that runs purely on hatred of Paris Hilton.
26. Every dog will have its day.
27. Danger surrounding cats.
28. A giant ball of frozen urine and fesces from an overflying jumbo jet will explode over Trenton, NJ - no one will notice the difference.
29. Larry King will die in a tragic suspenders-related accident.
30. Nancy Grace will be kidnapped by a group of young blonde white girls - gets no news coverage.
31. Terrorists attack John McClain.
32. OJ makes an independent sequel to the 'Naked Gun' films in prison - smuggles his MTV Movie Award up his ass.
33. Arnold Swarzonaggar proposes new Kaleefornia Space Agency "gets its ass to Mahhhrs."
34. Mudslides at a bar.
35. Blimp explosion over the Superbowl to promote Michael Bay's remake of 'Black Sunday.'
36. Richard Dryfuss cast as lead in 'CSI: San Francisco' - first line is "This is not a boating accident!"
37. Tragedy involving midget bowling.
38. PETA confused about whether or not to protest resurgent popularity of pet rocks.
39. Windsor Castle on fire after Her Majesty the Queen wins ten straight in the EU Table Tennis Tournament.
40. Danny DeVito and his wife Ron Perlman crushed to death in three-way with Shaqeel O'Neill.
41. Another Crane tragedy, as Frazier Crane is murdered by a deranged fan.
42. Danger around Barack Obama - possible assassination attempt by militia leader Captain Obvious.
43. Lindsey Buckingham on fire after concert at Caesar's Palace.
44. Fidel Castro dies, is rebuilt as Mecha-Castro, invades America, and rules South Florida with a literal iron fist after watching 'Scarface.'
45. Daredevil scales Eiffel Tower and then blows it up to protest being played by Ben Affleck.
46. Donald Trump's head struck by helicopter tail-rotor - saved by his impenetrable hair.
47. Michael Bluble needs to avoid robbery, because he stole my heart.
48. Streaker on American Idol - Simon comments "That penis was absolutely dreadful. It's the kind of thing I would expect to see in the back alley of the night clubs I frequent."
49. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick split after realizing they're ugly and gay, respectively.
50. A platypus will be exposed to gamma radiation, turn green and grow, and wipe out most of downtown Tokyo.
