Where do the non-coms in Starfleets get their training? At Starfleet Academy?
"What's your name, scumbag?"
"Sir! James T. Kirk, sir!"
"T? What's the T stand for? Thumbdick?"
"Sir! No, sir! Tiberius, sir!"
"Tiberius? Well, holy shit. We've got ourselves a fucking Roman emperor here. You know the Romans were only good for two things: orgies and the second finest military force the fucking civilized world has ever seen. You best learn how to fight, Tiberius, because you don't look like you could get laid in a fucking whorehouse with gold-pressed latinum strung around your pencil neck."
"Sir. Yes, sir!"
^ A similar suggestion came up in a TrekLit thread some time back, so I'll just shamelessly repeat the comments I made then:
"What's your name, scumbag?"
"Sir! James T. Kirk, sir!"
"T? What's the T stand for? Thumbdick?"
"Sir! No, sir! Tiberius, sir!"
"Tiberius? Well, holy shit. We've got ourselves a fucking Roman emperor here. You know the Romans were only good for two things: orgies and the second finest military force the fucking civilized world has ever seen. You best learn how to fight, Tiberius, because you don't look like you could get laid in a fucking whorehouse with gold-pressed latinum strung around your pencil neck."
"Sir. Yes, sir!"
^ A similar suggestion came up in a TrekLit thread some time back, so I'll just shamelessly repeat the comments I made then:
"What's your name, scumbag?"
"Sir! James T. Kirk, sir!"
"T? What's the T stand for? Thumbdick?"
"Sir! No, sir! Tiberius, sir!"
"Tiberius? Well, holy shit. We've got ourselves a fucking Roman emperor here. You know the Romans were only good for two things: orgies and the second finest military force the fucking civilized world has ever seen. You best learn how to fight, Tiberius, because you don't look like you could get laid in a fucking whorehouse with gold-pressed latinum strung around your pencil neck."
"Sir. Yes, sir!"
I so want to see that on film nowMaybe theyll have it in the new movie....
I don't think steers would work (since the character isn't from Texas ala Full Metal Jacket), but corn might.^ A similar suggestion came up in a TrekLit thread some time back, so I'll just shamelessly repeat the comments I made then:
I so want to see that on film nowMaybe theyll have it in the new movie....
Oh, wow! I can see it now:
"Where are you from, scumbag!"
"Sir, Iowa, sir!"
"Only two things come from Iowa, steers and queers! You don't look much like a steer to me, so that kind of narrows it down!"
RR
I don't think steers would work (since the character isn't from Texas ala Full Metal Jacket), but corn might.I so want to see that on film nowMaybe theyll have it in the new movie....
Oh, wow! I can see it now:
"Where are you from, scumbag!"
"Sir, Iowa, sir!"
"Only two things come from Iowa, steers and queers! You don't look much like a steer to me, so that kind of narrows it down!"
RR
"Only two things come from Iowa, corn and gay porn. You don't look like a corn husker, so that kinda narrows it down!"
^ A similar suggestion came up in a TrekLit thread some time back, so I'll just shamelessly repeat the comments I made then:
"What's your name, scumbag?"
"Sir! James T. Kirk, sir!"
"T? What's the T stand for? Thumbdick?"
"Sir! No, sir! Tiberius, sir!"
"Tiberius? Well, holy shit. We've got ourselves a fucking Roman emperor here. You know the Romans were only good for two things: orgies and the second finest military force the fucking civilized world has ever seen. You best learn how to fight, Tiberius, because you don't look like you could get laid in a fucking whorehouse with gold-pressed latinum strung around your pencil neck."
"Sir. Yes, sir!"
I can actually see and hear R. Lee Ermey doing that bit with Chris Pine in my head.
^ A similar suggestion came up in a TrekLit thread some time back, so I'll just shamelessly repeat the comments I made then:
"What's your name, scumbag?"
"Sir! James T. Kirk, sir!"
"T? What's the T stand for? Thumbdick?"
"Sir! No, sir! Tiberius, sir!"
"Tiberius? Well, holy shit. We've got ourselves a fucking Roman emperor here. You know the Romans were only good for two things: orgies and the second finest military force the fucking civilized world has ever seen. You best learn how to fight, Tiberius, because you don't look like you could get laid in a fucking whorehouse with gold-pressed latinum strung around your pencil neck."
"Sir. Yes, sir!"
This must appear in your next book as a flashback to Kirk's first day at the Academy!
Now I'm kinda tempted to write a scene where he tears into all of the TOS cast...
^ A similar suggestion came up in a TrekLit thread some time back, so I'll just shamelessly repeat the comments I made then:
"What's your name, scumbag?"
"Sir! James T. Kirk, sir!"
"T? What's the T stand for? Thumbdick?"
"Sir! No, sir! Tiberius, sir!"
"Tiberius? Well, holy shit. We've got ourselves a fucking Roman emperor here. You know the Romans were only good for two things: orgies and the second finest military force the fucking civilized world has ever seen. You best learn how to fight, Tiberius, because you don't look like you could get laid in a fucking whorehouse with gold-pressed latinum strung around your pencil neck."
"Sir. Yes, sir!"
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