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Nimoy Assaulted After Attempted Vulcan Mind Meld

It looks like a story that The Onion would run, but the humor is not nearly as good.
 
The image of Nimoy standing in the street shouting into his cell phone that he wants to be beamed up is rather funny.
 
Wouldn't it technically be Nimoy who assaulted the homeless guy? He basically walked up to a total stranger and grabbed his face. I'd call that assault.

(Before some self-loather of a nerd comes along to point out the blindingly obvious, yes I'm aware that this article is satire.)
 
Nimoy needs a medic-alert bracelet:

"I am NOT Spock! In case of heart attack, do not apply CPR to my kidney."
 
This part made me giggle uncontrollably:

had the bum in the cuffs when I see the guy who played TJ Hooker rollin’ over the hood of my squad car and pretending to shoot me with his fingers, so I had to arrest him too.”
 
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