New Moon is painful.

[Ward Fowler]

OK. After watching New Moon w/Riftrax, I can say that not only was the second movie worse than the first, but that this rifftrax wasn't nearly as funny as the one for Twilight. With Twilight Mike and the gang actually seemed angry at having to watch the movie, which made for a really funny commentary. This time around the jokes weren't anything special, but the movie was so bad that I was the one who ended up angry.

 

[Hermiod]

Star Trek fans are male nerds who have never had sex with real women. They have no social skills and are doomed for failure. They are ugly and don't shower and spend all their time debating Sci-Fi and Fantasy on message boards. They are masturbating to twisted fucked up shit like furries and hentai. The worse thing is, is that these guys think this is normal.

Hyperbole works both ways, hunh?

And yet none of those male nerds form "Miley Dads" groups and go scream at Hannah Montana.

 

[Kegg]

^
Yes, as the internet has amptly proven, older men are never, ever interested sexually in jailbait.

 

[JacksonArcher]

Or being an emotive bitch who needs a man to complete her and acts like a complete nut case when he breaks up with her and threatens to kill herself until he gets back together with her. Nice lesson to learn there, teeange girls of America.

The sad part is, I know girls who were at that age and reacted like that when their boyfriend broke up with them. Some have handled it better than others, but there were the cases where they went absolutely berserk and would go on tangents how their ex "ruined" their lives and how they can't go on anymore. Some teenage girls take this stuff very seriously.

I think some just need to realize that as teenagers they don't often see the bigger picture, they're often absorbed in the "now" and are incredibly self-obsessed. I don't want to appear biased or sexist or anything, but even my girlfriend commented recently (we were discussing Twilight and teenage girls) and how when you're a young girl everything is about you. Heck, even when I was a teenager, I thought everything was about me, and I'm a friggin' dude.

Then you get older and gain perspective, get out in the real world and realize that holy fuck, you have responsibilities and all the insignificant things you worried about as a teenager are completely and utterly trivial now as adults. Twilight captures that zeitgeist that as a teenager (and a teenager in love...) everything is consumed by the little things of our lives that seem so big to us at that time.

However, judging them as films, I don't really deplore them as much as many do. I didn't really enjoy the first movie but then again it's not my cup of tea. I actually ended up enjoying New Moon a lot more mostly because of the cinematography and Alexandre Desplat's score. It's a quiet, little introspective movie and the ending with the Voltari was kind of quirky and fun.

On the plus side, it is fun to point out the absurdities of the films, but then again, every franchise/series has an equal amount of absurdities to point out.

 

[Yoda]

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzwiwV0EfVk[/yt]


I don't know, I thought the first Twilight riff was ok, but the movie was bad enough to almost not be worth it. I haven't watched New Moon's yet, but I got a kick out of the 'highlight reel'

 

[Trippy]

Star Trek fans are male nerds who have never had sex with real women. They have no social skills and are doomed for failure. They are ugly and don't shower and spend all their time debating Sci-Fi and Fantasy on message boards. They are masturbating to twisted fucked up shit like furries and hentai. The worse thing is, is that these guys think this is normal.

Hyperbole works both ways, hunh?

And yet none of those male nerds form "Miley Dads" groups and go scream at Hannah Montana.

^
Yes, as the internet has amptly proven, older men are never, ever interested sexually in jailbait.

Kegg already answered with my sarcastic reply

 

[DonIago]

The sad part is, I know girls who were at that age and reacted like that when their boyfriend broke up with them. Some have handled it better than others, but there were the cases where they went absolutely berserk and would go on tangents how their ex "ruined" their lives and how they can't go on anymore. Some teenage girls take this stuff very seriously.

I think some just need to realize that as teenagers they don't often see the bigger picture, they're often absorbed in the "now" and are incredibly self-obsessed. I don't want to appear biased or sexist or anything, but even my girlfriend commented recently (we were discussing Twilight and teenage girls) and how when you're a young girl everything is about you. Heck, even when I was a teenager, I thought everything was about me, and I'm a friggin' dude.

Then you get older and gain perspective, get out in the real world and realize that holy fuck, you have responsibilities and all the insignificant things you worried about as a teenager are completely and utterly trivial now as adults. Twilight captures that zeitgeist that as a teenager (and a teenager in love...) everything is consumed by the little things of our lives that seem so big to us at that time.

I wish these people would just wake up and realize that everything's about -me-. Jesus.

 

[Hermiod]

^
Yes, as the internet has amptly proven, older men are never, ever interested sexually in jailbait.

Of course they are, they just don't go to the cinema to scream about it.

 

[Trippy]

^
Yes, as the internet has amptly proven, older men are never, ever interested sexually in jailbait.

Of course they are, they just don't go to the cinema to scream about it.

I don't know what movie theatre you went to to see Twilight and New Moon, but there were no screamers and the one I went to

 

[Dream]

^
Yes, as the internet has amptly proven, older men are never, ever interested sexually in jailbait.

Of course they are, they just don't go to the cinema to scream about it.

I don't know what movie theatre you went to to see Twilight and New Moon, but there were no screamers and the one I went to

There were a few screams when I when to watch the first movie. mostly when certain characters showed up. Freaking annoying. There are some fans that do the same thing during other movies, but you don't see anyone complaining about that.

The reason these movies are doing so well is because the females are dragging their boyfriends, brothers, and fathers to watch with them. It's like what happens with most romantic movies but the fanbase this time is larger. There are also vampires and werewolves which make it stand out more.

 

[Joy]

Firstly, I never said anything about the intelligence or lack thereof concerning people who like trashy vampire stories. (though I would argue about whether or not Twilight qualifies as a true *vampire* story)

Is Meyer a writing genius? No, but she got published. How about you?

I hate this argument. Just because someone is not yet published does not mean at all that they are not good writers. The reason *I* am not published yet is because I have been taking my time to develop my writing into something that I would actually like to see my name printed on. (unlike, say, Christopher Paolini, who could've done with a few years of basic college writing courses and several revisions to his book)

 

[Hermiod]

^
Yes, as the internet has amptly proven, older men are never, ever interested sexually in jailbait.

Of course they are, they just don't go to the cinema to scream about it.

I don't know what movie theatre you went to to see Twilight and New Moon, but there were no screamers and the one I went to

I am, of course, referring to the infamous motivational poster.

 

[John200]

A real vampire film has the vampires tearing throats ,and drinking blood.

Only one vampire can get away with the romancing crap ,and his name is Dracula.

 

[Kegg]

Firstly, I never said anything about the intelligence or lack thereof concerning people who like trashy vampire stories. (though I would argue about whether or not Twilight qualifies as a true *vampire* story)

Is Meyer a writing genius? No, but she got published. How about you?

I hate this argument. Just because someone is not yet published does not mean at all that they are not good writers.

It it does mean you haven't been published. You may never be published. And unless - rather than until - that happens, well, it hasn't happened.

Meyer wrote a book series that has been fantastically popular, probably moreso, it seems, than Christopher Paolini's Eragon. That doesn't mean I'd call her a good writer (I've never read, again) but clearly she did something right insofar as attracting a readership base goes.

 

[3D Master]

Or being an emotive bitch who needs a man to complete her and acts like a complete nut case when he breaks up with her and threatens to kill herself until he gets back together with her. Nice lesson to learn there, teeange girls of America.

The sad part is, I know girls who were at that age and reacted like that when their boyfriend broke up with them. Some have handled it better than others, but there were the cases where they went absolutely berserk and would go on tangents how their ex "ruined" their lives and how they can't go on anymore. Some teenage girls take this stuff very seriously.

Well, you see, Bella didn't go berserk, she turned into a walking zombie and felt like one. Like "there was a hole in her heart". And this went on for MONTHS.

If it weren't for the fact that she didn't have a spine, she would have killed herself.

If only she went berserk, she ffing deserves to, with stalking, cowardly, manipulative a-hole that is Edward, THAT would have been a healthy reaction. Caving in on herself like the whole world turned into zombieland (not quite the pun intended) over a guy she barely knew for a few weeks is just... ugh. No spine, no self-esteem, nothing.

I often wonder what would happen if some friend had actually gotten her to grow a spine, instead of going, "Oh, Bella, you bumped your head :whimper: Now woman, I am man and hear me bellow my righteous orders to you mere woman, no more motor cycles for you, (even though I let you ride the bike on your first time without a helmet or any other protective gear on a unhardened, obstacle-ridden back road in the first place and you just had a little slide)", he went, "Helmet, motor cycle suit, and then we're gonna really ride the bike." (Get your minds out of the gutter.)

Bella Swan with a spine... hmm, instead of, "Yes, male. Yes, male. I shall obey your righteous orders, male," she'd be jumping across two sand dunes going, "Yieeeeeehaaaa." Now there's a Bella Swan I can get behind.

 

[Trekker4747]

Her yelling in screaming in the middle of the night over the "loss" of Edward and... "everything" they had together was hilarious to me. I could see a girl going nuts for a couple of weeks (maybe not scremaing in murderous pain nits) but to go nuts for a couple months?

 

[Dusty Ayres]

Its really mediocre. But honestly its no worse than say Transformers in the acting and dialogue department.

I'd rather watch Transformers, thanks. At least Sam & Mikela's relationship is based on actual real ordinary love that comes out of a shared experience or real danger, and at least Mikela has guts and a spine of adamantium, unlike Bella.

Or being an emotive bitch who needs a man to complete her and acts like a complete nut case when he breaks up with her and threatens to kill herself until he gets back together with her. Nice lesson to learn there, teeange girls of America.

The sad part is, I know girls who were at that age and reacted like that when their boyfriend broke up with them. Some have handled it better than others, but there were the cases where they went absolutely berserk and would go on tangents how their ex "ruined" their lives and how they can't go on anymore. Some teenage girls take this stuff very seriously.

Well, you see, Bella didn't go berserk, she turned into a walking zombie and felt like one. Like "there was a hole in her heart". And this went on for MONTHS.

If it weren't for the fact that she didn't have a spine, she would have killed herself.

If only she went berserk, she ffing deserves to, with stalking, cowardly, manipulative a-hole that is Edward, THAT would have been a healthy reaction. Caving in on herself like the whole world turned into zombieland (not quite the pun intended) over a guy she barely knew for a few weeks is just... ugh. No spine, no self-esteem, nothing.

I often wonder what would happen if some friend had actually gotten her to grow a spine, instead of going, "Oh, Bella, you bumped your head :whimper: Now woman, I am man and hear me bellow my righteous orders to you mere woman, no more motor cycles for you, (even though I let you ride the bike on your first time without a helmet or any other protective gear on a unhardened, obstacle-ridden back road in the first place and you just had a little slide)", he went, "Helmet, motor cycle suit, and then we're gonna really ride the bike." (Get your minds out of the gutter.)

Bella Swan with a spine... hmm, instead of, "Yes, male. Yes, male. I shall obey your righteous orders, male," she'd be jumping across two sand dunes going, "Yieeeeeehaaaa." Now there's a Bella Swan I can get behind.

Reminds me of a great song I just recently heard about getting through shit:

I knew this African called Hannibal-
Rock it roll it send it down the avenue!
Went out to see the Roman Empire fall
Uh huh? uh huh?

Two thousand elephants in gold chain-mail-
Take it, shake it, make it what you wanna be!
Them Roman legionnaires they hit the trail!
Uh huh?

The world is what you make it-
The world is what you make it, baby!
The world is what you make it!

When Cleopatra ruled in Egypt's land
Jump down, turn around, look at what the monkey did
She went to find herself a mighty man
Uh huh? uh huh?

In come Antonio from Italy
Haul it, ball it, drag it up the pyramid,
He never knew how hot a girl could be
Uh huh?

The world is what you make it-
The world is what you make it, baby!
The world is what you make it

Don't start to hit me with your "no can do"
Bluesin', losin', workin' up an attitude-
Clean up them windows let the sun shine through!
Uh huh! uh huh!
There ain't no happy time without no pain-heartbreak, new date, move on up the alleyway!
Pick up them pieces, hit the road again! Uh huh!

The world is what you make it-
The world is what you make it, baby!
The world is what you make it-Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

Paul Brady The World Is What You Make It

Now this song, combined with Bella getting a spine, is what teenage girls really need.