My Suicidal Cry for Help.

[Saratoga NX-3842]

I know I know. I'd never have the balls to off myself, but my god, what a horrible life I have any more. I am dead broke, even though my wife and i work full time.
We woke up this morning and her car had been repo'd. It was much less funny than on Operation: Repo, let me tell you. I ended up borrowing money from my mother to take care of it, but bills have become the bane of my existence.

My wife went to school for 5 years, accumulation 60,000 dollars in student loans and now works as a receptionist for 11.00 an hour. we just had a baby 4 months ago and my wife's employer didnt pay materinity leave. we got behind and behind, credit cards maxed out to survive, then it culmiated in losing her car.

Everythign i read says how marriages end due to money. I'm about one second away from moving my family back into my parent's house.

Ijust need to talk. I have started google quick painless suicdies, knowing i cannot do that to my family and my daughter.

I need help, my wife is not approachable right now because of what happened, and I need the strength to keep going.

 

[Hoser]

Keep going, trust me on that. I can feel your pain, in October I was laid off, with my wife being pregnant with our second child. And through a comedy of errors with UI we wound up with no money and a mostly dead car and credit cards with stretch marks. In a lot of ways, I don't know how we survived, I praise God that we did, but after almost half a year I'm back to work, we have a new(used) car, my daughter was born fine and 3/4's of our big bills are paid off.
If it can happen to me, someone with Charlie Brown Karma, it can happen to you.
Hang in there man.

 

[Sky]

Please please please don't google the suicide sites anymore. You can get through this. You still have your family, a new baby, a lot of things to look forward to. Watching her grow. These bad times will pass, believe me they will. I know, my family lost everything when the economy of my country crashed in the early nineties. We lost our home, our transportation, my both parents lost their jobs - we had nothing. Except ourselves and our family and with the help of that we got through that horrible time. You will too. (Hugs)

 

[auntiehill]

Dude, that sucks.

Moving back in with your folks, if they're amenable, is NOT the end of the world. If they can help with childcare, you may be able to work extra jobs and save up.

Although I would never advise shirking one's responsibilities, if you're broke, then you're broke. You may just have to temporarily sacrifice your credit rating and default on some of your debts. Talk to an adviser, or go to your bank and just be honest. Maybe you can work something out.

Lots of people are in the same boat right now, so you are definitely NOT alone. Everyone goes through hard times; there's no shame in that.

And we're always here if you need to vent.

 

[Misfit Toy]

I know I know. I'd never have the balls to off myself, but my god, what a horrible life I have any more. I am dead broke, even though my wife and i work full time.
We woke up this morning and her car had been repo'd. It was much less funny than on Operation: Repo, let me tell you. I ended up borrowing money from my mother to take care of it, but bills have become the bane of my existence.

My wife went to school for 5 years, accumulation 60,000 dollars in student loans and now works as a receptionist for 11.00 an hour. we just had a baby 4 months ago and my wife's employer didnt pay materinity leave. we got behind and behind, credit cards maxed out to survive, then it culmiated in losing her car.

Everythign i read says how marriages end due to money. I'm about one second away from moving my family back into my parent's house.

Ijust need to talk. I have started google quick painless suicdies, knowing i cannot do that to my family and my daughter.

I need help, my wife is not approachable right now because of what happened, and I need the strength to keep going.

NAMI

Contact them. They can help. Seriously.

 

[kustirider2]

I know exactly how you feel; I have been going through a terrible depression (Crying, Self-harm...) I know its horrible but hold in there, Your family need you to be there for them.

 

[Jadzia]

money isn't worth dying for.

 

[Capn Flukie]

money isn't worth dying for.

True words.

 

[CaptainHawk1]

I know I know. I'd never have the balls to off myself, but my god, what a horrible life I have any more. I am dead broke, even though my wife and i work full time.
We woke up this morning and her car had been repo'd. It was much less funny than on Operation: Repo, let me tell you. I ended up borrowing money from my mother to take care of it, but bills have become the bane of my existence.

My wife went to school for 5 years, accumulation 60,000 dollars in student loans and now works as a receptionist for 11.00 an hour. we just had a baby 4 months ago and my wife's employer didnt pay materinity leave. we got behind and behind, credit cards maxed out to survive, then it culmiated in losing her car.

Everythign i read says how marriages end due to money. I'm about one second away from moving my family back into my parent's house.

Ijust need to talk. I have started google quick painless suicdies, knowing i cannot do that to my family and my daughter.

I need help, my wife is not approachable right now because of what happened, and I need the strength to keep going.

Here comes a tough-love speech from a married father of two:

Dude, you have to seriously relax. Like all things, this too, shall pass. I don't know if you're religious, but if so, contact your priest/pastor/rabbi or whatever and see what the church can do. That's what there there for. Catholic Charities is there to help all families, not just Catholics.

I hate to be a complete dick about this and I empathize with you but talk of suicide is (especially painless suicide) is nothing short of selfish and cowardly. All that would do is devastate your family and get you off the hook and I can tell by your tone that you don't want to be 'that guy.'

You may not realize it now because your baby is only 4 months old but you do not have a horrible life. You are blessed with your family and in the end that's all that matters. You need to protect them and do whatever you can to provide for them and be their fucking hero, already. If that means you have to move into your parents' house, you move into your parents' house. I can't believe that you don't realize what a blessing that is, that you can move into your parents house if need be. Obviously, it's not an ideal situation but having an extended family that is willing to help you in and of itself is a blessing.

I don't know what your wife went to school for that required $60K in student loans and 5 years but I'm pretty sure it wasn't to be a receptionist. If you folks can't find work in the field that you're educated in your particular area of the country, you need to look where there's a need for your particular skill-sets. If that means moving half-way across the country, you do it.

I'm sure you love your wife, but that car getting repo'd is as much her fault as it is yours so blaming you is not only unfair, but not productive. Nobody told her to take $60K in loans out for an $11/hour job. But women are irrational about things like this... accept it. As far as strength is concerned, that has to come from within because you aren't always going to be able to get it from your wife.

Again, you need to be the hero of your family no matter what it takes. Take pride in your role. Take pride in yourself and take pride in your marriage and your family. I understand that it's tough but there are families out there that are facing (and have faced) a lot tougher challenges. it's obvious that you and your wife have made a quite few bad decsions financially speaking and that circumstances compounded them but that happens to everyone.

Man up. Being a father and husband requires having the stones to make the big decisions and no, it's not something that comes automatically with the title. How you face challenges like these will define you as a husband and a father and set the tone for your marriage and the lives of your children.

I have faith in you. Now get off of your fucking cross, grab a fucking sword and go into battle.

 

[All Seeing Eye]

I know I know. I'd never have the balls to off myself, but my god, what a horrible life I have any more. I am dead broke, even though my wife and i work full time.
We woke up this morning and her car had been repo'd. It was much less funny than on Operation: Repo, let me tell you. I ended up borrowing money from my mother to take care of it, but bills have become the bane of my existence.

My wife went to school for 5 years, accumulation 60,000 dollars in student loans and now works as a receptionist for 11.00 an hour. we just had a baby 4 months ago and my wife's employer didnt pay materinity leave. we got behind and behind, credit cards maxed out to survive, then it culmiated in losing her car.

Everythign i read says how marriages end due to money. I'm about one second away from moving my family back into my parent's house.

Ijust need to talk. I have started google quick painless suicdies, knowing i cannot do that to my family and my daughter.

I need help, my wife is not approachable right now because of what happened, and I need the strength to keep going.

Do you own your own house? if so is there any chance you could take out a second mortgage to pay off your bills? the mortgage would then be spread across 25 or more years meaning you could be paying less per month.

Ya know, there are also companys out there that can pay off all your debt, make it into one single debt and then spread it out over a longer period of time for you so you end up paying less and they give it a lower interest rate.

 

[backstept]

wow I'd love to make 11.00 an hour . . . I make 8.80 . . .

 

[CaptainHawk1]

wow I'd love to make 11.00 an hour . . . I make 8.80 . . .

Guessing you don't have a family or household to take care of.

 

[Hoser]

Apparently the Misc. mods were up late last night, or I wouldn't be risking stepping on toes.
But in general we don't keep these open, because even though there are some qualified posters on the board, the majority of us aren't qualified to be giving mental health help to someone who may need it.

And honestly, if you're even entertaining the idea, I would suggest getting some help. Your family shouldn't have to go on without you. I don't mean this in any way than someone who's gone through it and knows you can't really do it alone.

To paraphrase Red Green: Keep your stick on the ice, we're all in this together.