My Poetry--Give your honest opinion!

[Top41]

I present to you, Trekbbs, my creation, for your judgment.

Should I publish?

Perish?

Are you in the "ehhhhh" camp?

Please share your thoughts, now that I have lost my floss!

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPOEM:

i do not know
where they have gone
my drunkl threads
the poetry of my self expression
gone
eaten by the abyss
taken by the trekbbs
i do not know
where they are
but i miss them
i do
and if I could
recover each one
i would
from the depths of the sea
of the heights of the stratosphere
where are you,
my drunkl threads?
how i miss you so!
so
i must create new
where the old
once was

 

[Top41]

don't know how i got so many P's btw--my keyboard must have taken on a life of its own!

dfafhoa

adaf
yes!

 

[Locutus of Bored]

I think you should read that poem at Obama's next inauguration.

 

[StolenThunder]

It's all in the delivery.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Warning for leaking a BR Thread. Comments to PM.

Oh, well, if you can do it I can do it:

Drunkl Threads are gone?
Maybe they are sober now.
Or in the drunk tank.

***

Once we had some Threads that were drunkl
But into the abyss they sunkl
That's bad news
So have some more booze
And get yourself out of your funkl

***

Oh, where, oh where
Have our drunkl Threads gone
I think they've all
passed out on the lawn




* Bows. *

Remember, kids, I'm a professional. Don't try this at home.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

I present to you, Trekbbs, my creation, for your judgment.

Should I publish?

Perish?

Are you in the "ehhhhh" camp?

Please share your thoughts, now that I have lost my floss!

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPOEM:

That was awesome. Abstract, thoughtful, full of meaning and soul - the psyche of a puzzled lyricist and artist, bared for all to see. The last killer line is incredible.

i do not know
where they have gone
my drunkl threads
the poetry of my self expression
gone
eaten by the abyss
taken by the trekbbs
i do not know
where they are
but i miss them
i do
and if I could
recover each one
i would
from the depths of the sea
of the heights of the stratosphere
where are you,
my drunkl threads?
how i miss you so!
so
i must create new
where the old
once was

That was not too bad either. I could definitely sense a feeling of sadness at the thought of a remarkable loss, with a hint of wonder, curiosity, childlike innocence and awe in the lyric there.

 

[1001001]

You are the next Maya Angelou.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I kinda like it. Of course you will need more than one poem to publish and one reasonably good poem might just be a fluke. I need to see more of your poetry. Maybe you could write a couple about some ofthe more colorful Trekbbs members. Maybe even a T'Bonz poem?

 

[G2309]

its always best to keep a copy of what you write. do you have much other stuff this is abt specific to the form
I use Triond for feedback on work
www.triond.com/users/Nathan+Grace

Heres my profile page do poetry and have a bit of star trek humour

 

[Zulu Romeo]

I need to see more of your poetry. Maybe you could write a couple about some ofthe more colorful Trekbbs members. Maybe even a T'Bonz poem?

I like this idea. Call it Old Ravescene's Book of Practical TrekBBS Members.