My Dad needs Mojo

[Sparky]

Well, I was misinformed. He thought he was starting chemo but he was wrong. The meeting was to inform him that Chemo is pretty much a death sentence. They had 3 Chemo "blends" available to him. The first one would kill him outright, the second one would destroy the nerves in his extremities and because of his diabetes it speeds up the process so he would be left totally dead in his feet and hands...imagine being a 300lb man who drives for a living having dead hands and feet....out of the question and it would he would be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.. The third option causes heart contractions....it has killed people on that treatment. The problem is he has a heart condition plus he has stents http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=4721 in his heart. The contractions could cause the artery to contract and then the stent will rip through and he will bleed to death in his chest cavity. The current option is to do the surgery first and then the Chemo that affects his heart. That way his is in the hospital and they can catch it.

The problem is that he had his meeting on Thursday the 25th. It is now Saturday the 27th and he has not called me. So I fear that the news is not good.

 

[ancientone51]

damn, Sparky I had hoped for better news. All my thoughts and prayers are headed your way. Hang in there.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Well, it doesn't sound like they have given up yet. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for you and your Dad. Let us know when you hear from him. Or maybe you should give him a call, although I know that must be a terrifying thought.

 

[JiNX-01]

I understand how you feel, Sparky.

When our father was diagnosed with cancer last summer he said he just didn't want to be in pain and "the was bull****."

My three brothers and I agreed on a palliative approach to his care. His oncologist told me it was the kindest choice we could make for him (the toxins from his cancer had led to a form of dementia that left him confused and unable to make his own decisions).

We had assistance through hospice and my cousin, an LPN, came to stay with us to help with his care. Most of our extended family had a chance to come and say goodbye and we were able to keep him comfortable right up to the end.

I know it's hard to imagine your life without him, but you don't want your last memories of your dad to be of him suffering.

Just tell him you love him, sit at his bedside and hold his hand so he knows you're there... you'll be glad you did.

I am.

 

[Sparky]

Thank you all for your kind words. I wanted to call him today but I chose not to because that is one father son conversation that I don't want to have. He didn't call either so at this point I'm thinking that the news is really bad or that the appointment was rescheduled and he forgot to call me (I can still hope.) I will be calling him tomorrow no matter what though.

 

[Aurian]

I wish things will work out, even though there are bad odds.

Don't be afraid to show him you are scared Sparky, your dad will be an immense loss, even if it does not happen until many years from now, or in the next few.
Call him..

 

[Sparky]

Oh I am going to call him. But I fear that the many years is going to be downgraded into months. Hell even with the operation he has a very slim chance of making it off of the operating table. Not looking forward to the conversation.

 

[Aurian]

I know.. he prolly feels the same way. Just let him know you care about him and let him do the talking.

 

[Reanok]

Sparky I'm sorry your father is ill and is going have to go through chemo.I hope his surgrey will be sucessful.

 

[Teiwaz]

I understand what you must be going through.

My mother died of breast cancer secondaries in '01 after originally fighting it off in '98. My father died last feb '09 of lung cancer caused by fibrosis of the lungs, he never did get strong enough for chemo as he'd been weakened by years of illness.

My best wishes to you and yours.

 

[JiNX-01]

Oh I am going to call him. But I fear that the many years is going to be downgraded into months. Hell even with the operation he has a very slim chance of making it off of the operating table. Not looking forward to the conversation.

Then I urge you not to put off calling your dad. He needs to hear from you before the surgery. Please trust me on this.

Pick up that phone and call him NOW.

 

[Sparky]

Thank you all for your responses. Teiwaz I am so sorry for your losses. That is my worst nightmare come true

My father called me today and the news was better than I expected. It turned out that he wanted to call everyone on Sunday because he figured they would be home. He apologized for worrying me but he didn't even think of that. He has a lot of things on his mind so I can easily brush past that.

The good news is that they analyzed the recent CT Scan and determined the the lesions in his lungs are NOT cancerous. So right now the plan is to give him Chemo through a Picc line. He will be on Chemo for the next 4 or 5 months. The Chemo will leave fatty deposits on his liver so they will stop Chemo a month before the operation. This will allow the fatty deposits to be absorbed into the liver. Then they can do the operation. One of the chemicals will still cause the heart contractions that can lead him to have a heart attack or bleed out, but they will be using a much lower dose.

This is really the best news we could have had. He has a real fighting chance now.

 

[JRS]

Thats good news, Sparky
I hope all the best to your father( and to your entire family) and also speedy and save recovery
My aunt beated breast cancer, so I know that its possible.
Positive energy is important, no matter how silly it may sound

 

[Yeoman Randi]

That's great news Sparky! Continued positive vibes being sent his (and your) way!

 

[JiNX-01]

So very glad to hear that your dad's prognosis has improved, Sparky. Hope all goes well with the treatments.

 

[RJDiogenes]

That's a relief, relatively speaking. Here's hoping the treatments and operation go smoothly.

 

[ancientone51]

Big smiles and happy thoughts.

Keep going strong and continued good mojo your way

 

[Sparky]

Well, this has certainly been a big roller coaster ride. The doctors called him today and they want him to come in for another test to make sure his heart is strong enough for the chemo. So back to square one waiting for more test results and good or bad news.....sigh....

 

[RJDiogenes]

Good luck to him. When are the tests being done?

 

[Sparky]

Well, the big rollercoaster ride just hit one hell of a dip. The doctor completely fucked up the CT results. When they made the diagnosis that his lungs were cancer free the doctor was looking at the original CT scan and not the new one that was just done. It turns out that the lesions in his lungs ARE cancerous and they are growing. They have canceled the liver operation and have put his status as Stage 4 Terminal Cancer.