Mr. Cranky's reviews of Star Trek films

[jefferiestubes8]

Have year heard of Mr. Cranky?
more bombs in the review equals the worse a film was.
His reviews are usually hilarious.
I thought I'd post his Trek reviews here.
Read them with some humor from a non-Trekkie.
HIs reviews are actually infectious and you can't stop reading them. He even reviews old films like Casablanca and other classics.

Nemesis - 3 bombs
http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/startreknemesis.html

Insurrection - 3 bombs
http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/startrekinsurrection.html

Star Trek: First Contact - 2 bombs
http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/startrekfirstcontact.html

Since there are enough annoying things in this film to fill the pages of a doctoral dissertation, I'll stick to three in an effort to keep the aneurysms amongst Trekkers to a minimum.

Star Trek: Generations - 3 bombs
http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/startrekgenerations.html

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country - 3 bombs
http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/star-treck-vi-undiscovered-country

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home - 2 bombs
http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/startrek4voyagehome.html

This movie is like the overacting Olympics.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan - 2 bombs
http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/startrek2wrathofkhan.html


Star Trek XI (2009) - only 1 bomb
http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/star-trek

Don't take him too serious. Just have a few laughs, come on...
I've been a TrekBBS member for a while. Not intended for flaming. If this is not your style of humor no need to comment.

 

[Argus Skyhawk]

Yep, his reviews are entertaining. I liked this quote from his Star Trek VI review:

Let's face it: The crew was over-the-hill in episode four, but because that episode was funny, nobody really noticed. Then, somebody had the bright idea to hand the directing duties to William Shatner in Star Trek V. That film was such a fiasco that ending the film series on that note would have probably caused a Jonestown style disaster at the next Star Trek convention, so VI was made as an apology.

 

[STR]

I like that he gave special attention to the only S-bomb ever dropped in Star Trek history.

Ah...Data. Good times. Good times.

 

[Captain Pike]

The ST09 review is poor - it's just a collection of borderline insulting unfunny broadsides directed at the "look" of the Enterprise & the fact that they used a youngish cast without any actual analysis of the film.

 

[Argus Skyhawk]

The ST09 review is poor - it's just a collection of borderline insulting unfunny broadsides directed at the "look" of the Enterprise & the fact that they used a youngish cast without any actual analysis of the film.

He had no choice. He liked the movie (as is evidenced by the fact that he rated it only one bomb), but his gimmick is that his reviews always trash every movie, so he had to complain about unimportant stuff.

 

[Cyke101]

The ST09 review is poor - it's just a collection of borderline insulting unfunny broadsides directed at the "look" of the Enterprise & the fact that they used a youngish cast without any actual analysis of the film.

He had no choice. He liked the movie (as is evidenced by the fact that he rated it only one bomb), but his gimmick is that his reviews always trash every movie, so he had to complain about unimportant stuff.

Yeah, he's essentially a funnier version of that Kristin Wiig character on Weekend Update, the gossipy opinionated auntie that *must* hate everything. Only funnier.

 

[Argus Skyhawk]

I like that he gave special attention to the only S-bomb ever dropped in Star Trek history.

Actually, the S-Word was used a few times in Star Trek 4

GILLIAN: You're not one of those guys from the military, are you? Trying to teach whales to retrieve torpedoes, or some dipshit stuff like that?
KIRK: No, ma'am. No dipshit.

As well as in Star Trek: First Contact

PICARD (OC): Hold your fire! We're here to help you!
LILY: Bullshit!

**and later on**

PICARD: In my century we don't succumb to revenge. We have a more evolved sensibility.
LILY: Bullshit! I saw the look on your face when you shot those Borg on the holodeck. You were almost enjoying it!

 

[STR]

S-Bombs dropped during time travel, or by people of past era's don't count. It's just not as funny.

I look forward to Quintospock(TM) dropping the first f-bomb in the next movie, Star Trek XII: The Quest for More Money.

 

[JarodRussell]

Read them with some humor from a non-Trekkie.

A non-Trekkie busting the new redesigned Enterprise, calling the original graceful. I rest my case.

 

[Trek Survivor]

Read them with some humor from a non-Trekkie.

This guy is quite obviously more than just a non-Trekker "casual" film watcher. He makes comments about the TV series (e.g. Wesley) that demonstrates he knows more than he's letting on.

 

[JarodRussell]

I don't think you need to be a fan to know who Wesley is when you watched only a few episodes and when he's a character that appeared in those episodes. People are not dumb, you know?

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Yes, but referring to Tribbles and Quadrotriticale in the same context takes a certain kind of knowledge, wouldn't you think?