Movie Caption Contest #82: Up Your Shaft

[Nerys Myk]

PAUL: The things I do for you Ringo.

 

[Maurice]

"I still don't know WHY the Praetor installed wall urinals out in the open...inside the Senate chamber."

"Because if you don't vote, they get to say 'the Senator passes.'"

 

[26138]

Suddenly, Mr. Scott realized that it wasn't Pants-less Tuesday on the Excelsior. However, judging by the handle of the whip that Captain Styles was carrying, it would have been okay if he had worn his assless chaps.

 

[Civil Shadow]

Styles: A holodeck, you say?
Scott: Aye, sir. You can have the girls; I'll just bang the Vulcan.

 

[Mistral]

"I still think your designer was wrong. We should have used the damn things when we re-did the bathroom."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Mr. Scott, you truly are a miracle worker. In fact, I feel a miracle working up in my pants as we speak."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Styles: Turning in, Mr. Scott?
Scotty: Nah, I'm going to do something productive. A little project I've been working on.

 

[Rat Boy]

Styles: "By the way, good idea about the chimpanzee and the two trainees. You really are a miracle worker."

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty, to himself: "Wait until you enter the turbolift: I shat out a giant haggis-fart in there, yeh tube."

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY:"Finished in there, sir?

I had one too many haggis platters."

 

[cooleddie74]

"We look like David Cassidy could be inside us."



"I'm going to pretend that didn't sound the way it did, Senator."

 

[Alrik]

Along the same theme

It wasn't until the first song of the reunion tour that Keith made the discovery that Danny really couldn't play the bass and had been lip syncing all these years.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Can you believe this, Senator?"


"Tell me about it. I waste half a week's pay on the ticket...and all this bastard knows how to sing is "Never Gonna Give You Up." "

 

[Alrik]

Scott: "Cuban cigar, Captain?"

Styles: "Close. Its called a Lewinsky."

 

[Alrik]

Righty: "You mean he sent me to go pick you up, so that he could have all of the Hot Pockets for himself? How could I have fallen for that one?"

Lefty: "You mean again? Not exactly the brightest bulb in the fixture, are ya now."

 

[cooleddie74]

STYLES:"This medicated suppository hurts like HELL. But it keeps me from having to reupholster the captain's chair every week."

 

[cooleddie74]

"I love you."

"Not NOW. Wait until the reception hall with the conveniently-located broom closet."

 

[NathanielM]

SCOTTY: "Damn that bastard Kirk, every time I turn around he'd doing my wife and that awful Capt kirk fuck song always is playing in the background..."

Styles: Now Now Mr. Scott Be tolerant! After all this is the third Star Trek Movie!


Scotty <relunctantly> Aye sir.

 

[cooleddie74]

STYLES:"Might wanna give the turbolift a minute, Captain Scott.

I had the breakfast burrito this morning."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Look at it this way. If we throw up on ourselves during a Senate session...how many of our colleagues will ever even KNOW?"