Movie Caption Contest #82: Up Your Shaft

[cooleddie74]

"Transwarp computer drive, sir?

Never heard of it, Captain. Is it a newfangled wagon wheel or somethin'?"

"When we get a chance.

Let's get rid of him. NERO.

I get the feeling that veruul is nothing but a troublemaker."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Competition was fierce at the Annual Starfleet Mustache and Grinning-Like-An-Idiot Contest.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Ah, Mr. Scott! My warp core has a breach I need you to inspect, on the double! I have it under Commander Sulu's word that you're what they refer to as a 'Miracle Worker!'"

 

[Gertch]

"I'm ready for my 'ride' Scotty. How about you?"
"Ayyyyye."

"I told that idiot the bathroom tiles weren't set. 'We can check it out anyway' he says. Trip and fall don't we."

 

[Rat Boy]

Two Captains, One Crop

 

[NathanielM]

Scotty: <thinking as he listens to Styles brag> Well fuck you too styles... you ain't no Shatner, your accident sucks, you can't ham it up, over act, and you can't leg drop.... And you don't have a very good rug...

Styles: Blah... Blahhh.... BLAH!!!

 

[NathanielM]

Scotty: Oh yeah... well Enterprise could whoops Excesior in a race anytime...

Style: No it can't

Scotty: Yes it can!

Styles: Nu-uh...

First Romulan: (thinking> Aw maaan I farted... and i wonder if the Commander will notice...?

Second Romulan: <silently thinking> Ah maaan what the hell is that smell?

 

[The Cutest of Borg]

Styles: "I'm turning in myself. Looking forward to breaking in my new riding crop on the fresh-faced young ensign from the bridge."

Scotty: "Up his shaft..."

 

[Voyager]

First Romulan (on left): <thinking> Damn...good thing Sulu ain't here

Second Romulan (on right): <silently thinking>...I wish he would stop looking at me like that...

Sulu (off camera): Yelling Sorry not interested in people with gobblers!

 

[Candlelight]

"It's not what you got Mr Scott, it's where you stick it"

A scene from "Dude, Where's My Integrity As An Actor?"

 

[Candlelight]

As the turbo lift doors opened, Styles was suddenly aware he'd left the vibrator switched on.

And in his armpit.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Stiles: "I understand you were working late in the transwarp computer core Mr Scott."
Scott: "Ah, no. That wasn't me who sabotaged the system."
Stiles: "Very well. Odd, the fabric of your uniform jacket looks familar."
Scott: "Ah, no. That wasn't me who ripped up the carpet in your quarters and had it fitted to me expanding waistline."
Stiles: "Very good Mr Scott. Carry on."

"Dude, this is the lamest nightclub I've ever been in. I'm not even gonna bother putting the batteries in my jacket."

 

[Shatmandu]

Doohan: "Did you hear what Shatner did to my wife?"

 

[Triskelion]

- Guess who I fitched last night, ye overstuffed codpiece-face.
- It's not better than who I banged, you bloated whisky-swilling asshat.
- I don wanna be namin' names, but let's just say I've been spittin' out feathers all marnin'.
- It's not...nooo!
- What - you too? Dammit man, I thought I heard someone harmonizing back there!

He's no Grignak, but he's mine.

 

[scottydog]

First Romulan: "My bathrobe is better than yours."

 

[Alrik]

Lefty: "I'll get that no good, dirty rotten, lying dirtbag salesman if its the last thing I do. He said this jacket was a one of a kind."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

First Romulan: Preator, we've run out of money in the military budget and have had to start making our uniforms out of Old Earth couches.
Second Romulan: From a period known as the 1970s.

 

[cooleddie74]

"These newfangled turbolifts come with a lavvy, sir?

I've got a crap on V Deck that could choke a donkey!!"

" 'Get tunics patterned after the Patridge Family bus,' you said.


IDIOT."

 

[cooleddie74]

STYLES:"Hi, Captain Scott."

SCOTTY:"Not yet, sir...but with the help of a fifth of Scotch whiskey and a blunt I brought back from Wrigley's Pleasure Planet I soon will be!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY (thinking): Aye, he's compensating for something

ROMULAN 1: What ever happened to that Picard clone?

ROMULAN 2: Who cares? What's the worst that could happen?