Movie Caption Contest #224: Back and forth...

[LeadHead]

Hello all and I hope the weekend has been good to you!

First up to the plate, we have the "Crucial Information" Award, going to:

Kirk: Wait, Spock! Tell them we have a coupon for free Crazy Bread. They never ask for it.

Next, we have "The Buck stops over there" Award, going to:

Spock: Lieutenant, the Admiral is well aware of the regulations. So if he screws up, it's on his ass...

Next, we have the "Mission Accomplished" Award, going to:

Kirk: Well I let my ship get blasted with it's shields down, we lost dozens of cadets, that whole Genesis project fell into the hands of a madman and was destroyed and Captain Spock was killed... oh and we had to destroy Reliant too. Can you fix my ship now? I have more stuff to take care of.

Our Photoshop Award goes to:

Spock: Admiral, do you have to keep whistling "Sweet Georgia Brown"?

An extra award for "Outstanding Achievement in Starship Interior Design," goes to:

Kirk: "Analysis, Spock?"
Spock: "Sorry, Captain. I can't make heads nor tails out of these orange, blinky lights."

"No, Mr. Spock, don't return scan. That could be misunderstood as hostility. Instead, ready phaser banks and arm a full volley of photon torpedoes."

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congratulations to all our winners!

And now......... a Caption Contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Quickly! Into the potentially dangerous cave!!

Picard: Report, Number One.

Riker: The Romulan Commander started to state his demands, then has spent the last 20 minutes laughing at our uniforms.

Riker: ... And our Chief Engineer has been very excited to meet you. Where the hell is he?

La Forge: Wow, so That's what's stars look like!

Riker: *Sigh*

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: I found it! The setting for countless Star Trek Episodes!!!

PICARD: Merde, this stinking English pig-dog uniform! Why do they always forget I'm French?

LAFORGE: Wow, I can see right into Troi's quarters with this!... she and Riker are right behind me, aren't they?

 

[R. Star]

Thanks for the win!

Picard: Uh yes, everyone into the mass gra-- I mean caves! There's no danger of this entrance accidentally collapsing...(it won't be an accident and no one will miss the Baku!)

Riker: Shiver me timbers, set course towards our next booty!
Nameless Ensign: Casual Fridays are getting out of hand...

Commander Riker began to question LaForge's qualifications to be Chief Engineer when he needed to use a tricorder for instructions to operate a primitive telescope.

 

[Finn]

Geordi: *giggle* *snort* come on, girl

Cochrane: What's with him?

Riker: The enlisted women's shower room must be in view again

Riker: *thinking* The bastard better records the whole damn thing

 

[doubleohfive]

"The helicopter will be added in post," said Patrick Stewart of this exclusive first footage from the new James Bond-esque action thriller I've Seen Everything written, produced, directed by and starring Stewart himself. When queried about what this scene could be about, Stewart elaborated: "I have to go to Iraq, to rescue these hostages. And I get there and I rescue them, but they're all women and they're naked because their clothes have rotted off. But I get them into the helicopter, and I'm flying the helicopter, but I can still sneak a look in the mirror and I can see everything, you know. One of them's bending over, two of them are kissing..." The film, also starring Ricky Gervais, is due in theaters just in time for the holiday season...

RIKER: We're going to steal a ship? That ship?
PICARD: Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term.

GEORDI: Look everyone! A butterfly in the sky!
TROI: I can go twice as high.
GEORDI: Take a look!
COCHRANE: (confused)
RIKER: Relax Doc. It's in a book.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Picard: "Look, a cave."
Crusher: "No shit, Sherlock."

Picard: "It's that blasted Q again, isn't it?"
Ensign: "What should I do, sir?"
Riker: "Ask him if he's a god, Ensign Gozer."

Riker: "You put whiteout on the eyepiece?"
Troi: "No, superglue."
Cochrane: "Wow, you people from the future are bastards!"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Picard: "I think we've lost them! Now, everyone into the cave! They'll never find us in here!"
Crusher: "But, Jean Luc, they're just the Baku's children!"
Picard: "I'm not comfortable with children! Now move your ass!"

Riker: "Oh. Admiral Nechayev! We--uh--we weren't expecting any communications from Starfleet today."
Nechayev (on screen and not amused): "Obviously, Commander!"

LaForge: "Ah, finished! It took seven hours, but I've verified the position and configuration of every constellation! This is definitely Earth!"
Riker: "Um...Geordi? No one was questioning that."
Cochran: "He doesn't work well without supervision, does he."

 

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: Our sense of cinematic scope... it went thataway!

Picard: So what was that stuff on the boat about?

Riker: It was supposed to introduce us to viewers who've never seen the show in a non-obvious way.

Picard: But it didn't really do that did it? I mean, you got a vague idea of some of our personalities, but nothing about our jobs even that we work on a space ship. Which this scene is now having to do over. I mean, a well judged action opening may have been cliche, but it would have done both things at once by showing up reacting to a crisis professionally with a bit of banter to show who we are.

Riker: Yeah.

Picard: And it made Worf look like one of the films main leads even though he'll now do nothing for the rest of the movie except glower, even though his personal arch-enemies are the secondary villains.

Worf: WHAT?!

Riker: Yeah.

Picard: And I bet it was expensive as well... are we going to have to cut back on the final and kill the Klingons with stock footage?

Riker: Yeah.

Picard: Jeez, this movie sucks. I can't wait to become executive producer, then I'll tell them how to do it properly. Slow time hippies and dune buggies, that's what we need.

Geordi: ...And at maximum magnification, I can just about see the theory that comes closest to explaining in a sensible manner why we never see a model of Archer's Enterprise in the briefing room.

 

[Isis]

Crusher: "Don't be silly, Jean-Luc, that's obviously a cave."

Picard: "Beverly, we really need to get you on more away missions. But never fear, I'm here, so you're learning from the best."

Crusher: "OK, Einstein, what is it?"

Picard: "I'll spell it for you first. P-L-O-T H-O-L-E.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Gangway, everyone! Batmobile comin'!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Picard: "Captain Caveman... geddit?"

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Thanks for the win!

"Dammit, did Starfleet change the uniform design AGAIN?! We've got our usual uniforms, the DS9s and old-time naval uniforms! I'm showing up for helm duty tomorrow wearing a kilt."

*muttering to self* "...yeah, that's Lt. Hawk's corpse, all right..." *aloud* "AHEM. Dr. Cochrane, I've finished my scan, and from what I can tell, that's actually swamp gas from Venus reflecting off a weather balloon."

 

[Kirby]

Picard: "Data, this is a cave, not an opportunity for more 'yo momma' jokes!"

Picard: "And they said that the Star Trek II uniforms looked too nautical. Wait till they get a load of this."

Geordi: "But you don't have to take my word for it Dr. Cochoran, it's in a telescope!"
*bad Reading Rainbow reference*

Thanks for the win!

 

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: ...reminds me of a story Jack Crusher once told me about Wesley's birth...

Troi: Err... Do you think Data would be fooled if we brought him a cat that looked exactly like Spot to replace the original if someone accidentally... sat on her?

Geordi: Blimey, 21st century tricorders were a bit bulky.

 

[Argus Skyhawk]

Thanks for the win!

The roadrunner just ran in there, which is weird because I thought I saw a coyote painting this cave onto the mountainside a little while ago.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Picard: "If video games have taught me anything, it's that nothing bad ever happens inside a cave! Quickly, inside!"

Commander Tomalak: "Further more, I demand that- what the hell are you doing?!"

Riker: "Larping."

Worf: "I cast fireball at the Romulan Warbird. It deals 10d6 damage."

Riker: "Stop playing Angry Birds! You're on the clock, damnit!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

LAFORGE: I've synced this telescope with my recording of Holst's The Planets. Now as each planet comes into view the corresponding movement plays.

COCHRANE (shaking head): Nerds.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Geordi: Ow! What did you do that for?

Robby the Robot: You tried to scan me with your tricorder. That's why I poked you in the eye.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: No, I don't think we're being watched.