Movie Caption Contest #189: Gifts

[Rat Boy]

Ready torpedoes, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's say hello to...

They're really going to feel bad when they roll Klingon alts in Star Trek Online...

Klingon #1: "You know what hurts me? The way Orion women look at me. You can see it in their eyes. It really hurts my ego."
Klingon #2: "Oh, Orion women are so superficial! Don't let it bother you!"

I blame 4chan...

T'Steve: "Did you supply the ambassador with the official greeting in the correct language and idiom for the geographical location that we are currently in?"
S'poon: "Indeed. I fully researched all extant Earth databases, and triple checked the greeting's accuracy. There should be no error at all."
Ambassador: "Greetings. All your base are belong to us."

Congratulations to the winners. First, Kirk starts blowing through his birthday gift in five minutes while Picard shows Anij and Artim the plot he just purchased. Have fun:

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "What an ugly shelf."

Kirk: "It'll catch on, trust me."

Picard: "Ouch! Stupid iPad 2 overheating!"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Kirk (gesturing to ship model): "During the ship's next refit, this is what I want her to look like. Decker overuled me last time, but now that little obstacle's been removed..."

With Starfleet's latest budget cut, Picard and the Enterprise turned to piracy to pay their way. While Picard distracted the locals with his "security analysis", his crew made off with the furniture.

 

[Nerys Myk]

STEWART: This contract in iron clad. We're stuck in this film.

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

McCoy: Jim?

Kirk: Yes Bones?

McCoy: What the hell am I wearing??

Picard: And if you look here, this cat appears to be holding a hamburger, yet he is actually not holding a hamburger. Also, note the bad punctuation. This is used to generate humour...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

McCoy: "You know, Jim, you've got an awful lot of chrome and glass and...nick nacks in this place. It's not very manly!"
Kirk (peeved): "Well, what do you want me to do...put a picture of dogs playing poker on the wall? Bring in an old, beat-up, wooden cable spool to use as a coffee table?"
McCoy: "It wouldn't hurt!"

Anij: "That's the coffee table you ordered?!"
Sojef: "But...it looks like an old, beat-up, wooden cable spool!"
Picard: "Yes, but they're very fashionable! James Kirk had one!"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Picard: "Well, it's a big touchscreen, which is cool and stuff... plus, you can use apps on it."

Anij: "You know what my netbook has? A disk drive."

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Romulan Ale, now Bones, you know that this is illegal.

McCoy: I only use it for medicinal purposes.

Kirk: What "Medicinal Purposes?"

McCoy: You don't think your hair stays that curly on its own, do you?

Picard: These mountains will have deep caves we can hide in and will look spectacular on film as we make our way there. Lets go!

 

[Candlelight]

Kirk: "Bones... have you ever seen a grown man naked?"
Bones: "Of course, I'm a physician. I've even seen you naked."
Kirk: "That's what I'd hope you get to. More ale?"

Picard: "This file here shows all know information on Son'a strategy, this file here shows a topographical display of the entire planet, and this file... oops, better close that."
Anij: "Where WAS he sticking that trombone???"

 

[Maurice]

KIRK: My new pad is pretty hot, right?
BONES: Poor choice of words given that the cyclorama outside is from The Towering Inferno.*

*Which it is!

ANIJ: So, how will you defeat the Son'a?
PICARD: There's an app for that.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

McCoy: Jim?

Kirk: Yes Bones?

McCoy: What the hell am I wearing??

You beat me to it!! I swear, everytime i watch this movie i think this exact thing. What the hell is he wearing?!?!?

 

[Schistocerca]

Whilst looking around Jim's new apartment all Bones could think was, "wow you must get through a lot of Brasso"

Picard: Well according to the IMDb you may look like Will Ferrell, but you are, in fact, a completely different actor!

 

[TigerOfDarkness]

Picard: According to this technical read-out a skilled pilot could fly along this trench...
Han Solo: Hold it - I thought the Death Star was a sphere, not a cube!

 

[Schistocerca]

Picard: Well according to the IMDb you may look like Will Ferrell, but you are, in fact, a completely different actor!

Just saw Nerys Myk's caption in the Voyager forum: I promise I didn't see it before I wrote this!

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Kirk: "Romulan Ale - Bones, you know that's illegal."

McCoy: "So are the aborted Pakled babies I took stem cells from to grow your hair, but you don't see me complaining."

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: As you can see, the birds are angry. Yet we still do not know why.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Sojef: "So, all it has is Resident Evil and some N64 ports?"

 

[Schistocerca]

McCoy (looking around him): Jim, you're over a million credits in hock. Get a grip man, this Ebay addiction has got to stop!

 

[Finn]

McCoy: Lot of old stuff, huh?
Kirk: Yeah, I can't resist them
McCoy: I bet. I remember that car of your uncle's in the cargo bay back in the old days on the Enterprise.

 

[Vassa]

Jim, isn't that the idol from Minar XII? That crystal thing that recorded their culture? Kept their history?
Really pulls the whole display together doesn't it? Plus, after a little re-programming, I made it my home network back-up drive.