Movie Caption Contest #187: Excellent

[Rat Boy]

Sorry for the delay, so here's the new caption contest. First...

What? It's not like trying to understand the lyrics of "Smells Like Teen Spirit:"

Kirk: I tell ya, it's "Blow, blow, blow your coat."

McCoy: No, no, no. It's "Glow, glow, glow your goat."

Kirk: Any ideas, Spock?

Spock: ... go to hell...

Always with the quick retort(s)...

Picard: ... so then after the Borg Implants were removed, I got to go back to Earth and beat up my brother, so the whole experience is kind of a wash.

Shinzon: Our eyes reflect our lives, don't they?

Picard: Not really. I wear contacts.

Shinzon: I feel exactly what you feel.

Picard: Good, I was starting to think I was the only one who couldn't digest that meal.

Congratulations to the winners. This week, Sulu realizes that maybe he really doesn't need a chauffeur and Kirk's five second from getting dragging from the center seat kicking and screaming. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Sulu: "Starboard thrusters! Turn us into the wave!"

Lojur: "Uh, the wave's to the starboard of us."

Sulu: "DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DRIVE AND TURN THIS BITCH!"

Kirk: "My God, is this Harriman's piss?"

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Sulu didn't appreciate it when the crew woke him from his bridge floor naps.

Kirk: Where are the deflector relays?

Demora: Deck 15, section 21 Alpha.

Kirk: And there's NOBODY closer than us?!

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Kirk: "Demora, why are they fighting over that console?"

Demora Sulu: "That's the only one with access to Channel Eight, sir. Andorian Idol is on any moment".

Kirk: "My Enterprise only got seven channels!"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Lojur (pressing buttons casually): "...aaand...proposed Excelsior/Captain Sulu TV show now...cancelled".

*Close up on Sulu's face*

 

[Maurice]

SULU: Okay, I've finished the lube job. Anything else I can help you with?

KIRK: Does this monster maroon make my ass look big?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Lojur: "What's this video file stored in your private folder, sir? 'The Captain and the Cadet'?"
Sulu: "Don't play that!!"

Kirk (thinking): "Nice! Very nice! But...do I dare? Should I or shouldn't I? Oh, what the hell, why not? Hikaru already hates my guts, anyway!"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Sulu: Don't tell me that was any meteor shower.
Officer: No, sir -- sensors register a massive explosion near Praxis.
Sulu: Oh, my!

Kirk: We're...being....drawn INTO! the energy ribbon.
Sulu: Estimating contact in two minutes, forty seconds sir.
Kirk: ..I'm waiting, ensign.
Sulu, sighing: "Oh, my."

 

[ToMaHaKeR]

Sulu: ''I'm telling you, the course command that should break us free is Up-Up-Down-Down-Left-Right-Left-Right-B-A, execute it!''
Lojur: ''If you insist... Alright everyone, prepare your throw-up bags, this is gonna be bumpy!''

 

[Rat Boy]

Lojur: "Why does everyone keep calling me 'Mr. Kamarov?'"

 

[LeadHead]

Sulu became very worried about the decision to put rolling chairs on the bridge once Praxis blew up.

 

[Brikar99]

Sulu: Holy shit! Where did Tom Green come from AND WHO LET HIM DRIVE?!?

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Sulu: Starboard thrusters! Turn us into the wave!

Lojur: Erm, sir, space has more than two-dimensions. Why don't we make the ship fly up ABOVE the wave so that the ship doesn't get the crap beaten out of it.

Sulu: Shush! This is meant to be dramatic!!

Lojur: Dramatic as in stupid, yeah. sure. Whatever you say sir

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Sulu: Turn down the bass! Before she flies apart!

Lojur: Aye!

 

[Mistral]

Sulu: "Are you sure you can Auto-Tune their voices? Because this off-key screaming is really getting on my nerves..."

 

[Mistral]

Demora: "My father may be gay but at least he managed to have a kid."

Kirk: "What was that?"

Demora(sweetly): "Nothing."

 

[Candlelight]

Can't wait for next week's caption... assuming Rat Boy stays with the annual tradition...

Sulu: "So... while I'm down here-"
Officer: "Sir, sensors register a massive explosion near Praxis"
Sulu: "Fuck it... so close"

Sulu: "At least my father didn't get his children killed"
Kirk: "What?"
Sulu: "Nothing"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Crewman One: It's my console.
Crewman Two: Mine!
Crewman One: No, mine!

 

[Candlelight]

Kirk: "WHO THE FUCK TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DRIVE??"

 

[LeadHead]

Sulu: Starboard thrusters!

Helm: Yes Sir, uhhh... do what with the Starboard thrusters?

Helm: Captain! Incoming Klingon Attack Forces!

Sulu: No.... it was soo.... No....

Rand: Captain, I know you're bummed the ea cup broke, but we've got bigger fish to fry!

Kirk: There's nothing wrong with my chair Scotty, but Harriman's ain't a pretty sight.