Movie Caption Contest #173: The Jig Is Up

[Rat Boy]

The contest would be worth more if the lenses were intact, so let's start a new one. First, let's bluff our way past...

I love me some bargains...

Antique Salesman: I'll give in 200 more if you throw in the Burt Reynolds-like rug you're wearing.

This is why you never take a civilian on a rescue operation...

McCoy: She's dead.

Gillian: What?!

Kirk: I told you I should have been the one playing dead.

At least they weren't trying to sell a boat. They almost never buy boats...

PAWN DEALER: Just a moment, I have to consult with my associates.

Congratulations to the winners. This week, Uhura checks to see if Scotty finally got her piano tuned, Chekov reveals why there was never a weekly poker game on the old Enterprise, and gee, that hallway looks awfully familiar. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "Adjust Uhura's chair, adjust Uhura's ear-piece, adjust Uhura's hair dryer. What am I? Her bloody personal maintenance man?

She's standing right behind me, isn't she?"

Sybok: "Look, Captain, I know this is a ruse because that's the worst Russian accent I've ever heard."

Chekov: "Vhat are you talking about? Of course I'm Russian!"

Thug: "There's a Betazoid wedding going on in Ten Forward!"

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Scotty: I know they have to cut corners from time to time during construction, but this computer interface is a cardboard box with "Computer Interface" written on it with Magic Marker.

Chekov: This is Keptin Pavel Chekov Speaking, you are in violation of the Neutral Zone treaty. I advise you to release your hostages at once or I'm gonna be very disappointed with you.

Thug 1: How did we get aboard the ship?

Thug 2: Sybok really thinks highly of us. He stashed us in the overhead compartments.

 

[bullethead]

Sybok: Duck Dodgers?! I love this show!

Somali Pirates in Space!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Scotty: "Again?! For God's sake, woman, ye gotta give me a little recovery time! I'm not a blasted teenager anymore, ye know!"

Thug #1: "This is the third time we've passed that guy! We're friggin' lost!"

 

[Maurice]

UHURA: Aha! So there's my lunchbox!
SCOTTY: Borgas frat!

CHEKOV: Vhat is this "yellow pixel"?

BIG THREE: ♫ Row row row your boat... ♫
FLUNKIES: Run away!

 

[Mistral]

Uhura: "Will you be coming to dinner anytime soon, Scotty?

The haggis is getting cold!"

Scotty: "I doona, lassie. One o' tha' green lights burnt out and took the whole string with it. And I'm oota green bulbs!"

 

[Alrik]

Scotty: "Aye, lass. You're a fine lady for sure, an' I haven't dipped me wick for a while now. But what will Spock say?"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Rebel Sergeant ...this doesn't look like an Imperial Cruiser at ALL. And where are the storm troopers?

 

[Nerys Myk]

SOLDIERS:For Muad'Dib! For Arrakis!!!!!

DIRECTOR: Cut!!!!! You boys are on the wrong set.

 

[LeadHead]

Scotty: I cannae believe we're using PrePentium chips on these consoles.

Chekov: This is Keptin Pavel Chekov speaking- aw crap, I thought Connery was gonna do your role.

Thugs are hit by phaser blasts

Worf: Worf to Picard, the Intruders are in custody.

Picard: (over comm) Good, put them in restraints until we get back to the temporal anomaly, we're gonna dump them right back at Kirk's doorstep.

 

[Bob Karo]

Sybok: Where's the remote?! I've seen this B5 episode already!

Chekov: ....vhat?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Chekov: "Hello, Khan! It's Pavel Chekov! Captain Kirk ask me to take over from him the task of checking up on you once a year there on Ceti Alpha V. Since you seem to be doing just fine, though, I probably won't be bothering you nearly that often. Later, dude!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Sybok: "If you're a captain, then why aren't you wearing white?"

 

[LeadHead]

Sybok: Each man hides a secret pain-

Chekov: Nope, I'm hiding two Photon Torpedoes. Finish him Scotty!

 

[SeerSGB]

Uhura: MY GOD SCOTTY! You're on the bridge, put it away.

Scotty: But the nacelles are so ample.

Sybok: Beam me and my followers aboard or I'll kill Kirk and all the other senior officers.

Chekov: .... fuck 'em, about time I got a promotion. Scotty lock on phasers and photons. ... Oh and tell Sulu: Now he can laugh about putting the fake Ceti Eel on my pillow.

Thug 1: Shit...SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.... RUN YOU DUMB FUCKS!

Thug 2: What's going on!?

Thug 3: Dude we're so fucked.... he just paintballed the windshield on Spock's shuttle!

 

[Alrik]

Patron: "C'mon guys, let find some place else. This bar sucks. Not only do they NOT have HD sets, but they're running a Star Trek movie marathon instead of having the bowl games on."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Scott: "Lassie, I know this Bridge like I know the back of my--"

BONK

 

[Kirby]

Sybok: Each man hides a secret pain. Share your pain with me.

Chekov: You want to watch Moontrap?

Sybok: Oh good lord no... Sorry, you're on your own.

 

[Rat Boy]

Sheridan: "Bester? What the hell are you doing in that get-up?"

Chekov: "Vhoops! Vrong number."

Sheridan: "Eighth time this month."