Movie Caption Contest #154: Clueless

[Rat Boy]

Would you get that ridiculous piece of head wear off, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's slyly ogle...

For forays into daring hats, our winner is...

Picard: How's it sit? Pretty cunning, isn't it?
Troi: Man walks down the street in a hat like that, you know he's not afraid of anything.

For bringing up someone who's even creepier-looking than the bad guys, our winner is...

Lady Gaga mounts a comeback tour.

For pointing out that maybe they should have gone with Matt Jeffries original idea of making the shuttles more aerodynamic, our winner is...

Picard: "Mr. Worf, you're supposed to be flying this thing!"

Worf: "Flying, falling, *shrugs* Not much of a difference."

And for demonstrating why some things are best left hidden, our winner is...

Data: "Note to self, 10 years of beard camouflage covers up serious jowl development."

Our first Photoshop winner takes us back to April Fool's Day...

Worf: Sir! It's a....

Picard: Don't say it Worf!

Worf: But sir, it reallly is...

Picard: NOT ONE WORD!

Worf: ~whispering~ It's a trap

Picard: That's it! Computer active Autopilot Program Troi-1

And look who decided to drop by...AGAIN...

TROI: At least you've never been stuck in a terrible holoprogram about the very first warp-capable ship named "Enterprise."

So, you see sir...it COULD be worse.

A LOT worse.

Bitsy: Papa...

Picard: It's worse.

Congratulations to the winners. First on tap this week, we have Kirk and Spock wondering if this little Genesis emergency isn't really an elaborate plan by Carol Marcus to get more child support out of the admiral. Second, we should be glad that they haven't invented Smell-O-Vision yet. And lastly, Data realizes too late that the android head he's planning to attach to B-4 is actually from a prototype named Abby Normal. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Really? You're giving me the ship that easily?"

Spock: "Mainly because I didn't want to hear you bitch about it the whole way to Regula."

Kirk: "Oh my God. I told those idiots at UPS to put some air holes in!"

B-4: "Why does that man have a shiny head?"

Picard (off camera): "It's hereditary, dammit!"

*runs off crying*

 

[cooleddie74]

Seriously, Spock...I...I'm not asking for much.

But can you lose the damn BEADED curtain over here? It's just TOO lame.

KIRK: I always warned Chekov...even in the old days...

If you're GONNA sniff glue or drop acid, DO IT in a well-ventilated area!!

B-4: Screw the man with the shiny head...

WHO'S the woman with the gigantic ta-ta's?

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK: Alright...gimme five, brother!


SPOCK: Five WHAT?


(*Long, uncomfortable pause*)


KIRK: Why the hell do I bother.

 

[TeaKirk]

Rick A.:Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you.

Kirk: *Pauses*

McCoy: Dammit Jim don't say it......

Rick A.: Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

Kirk:KHANNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Mr Silver]

Shatner: So, we have an agreement, you direct the sequel and the 4th and i'll take the 5th and the 6th films"

Nimoy: Fair enough, just make sure you remember to include me in the writing credits for your 2nd film and i'll make you look good in a fist-fight in the sequel"

Meyer: (coughs) "Gentleman...."

McCoy: "Jim..what is it"?

Kirk: "Bones...I don't think these replicators are gonna catch on..."

McCoy: "Why you say that"?

Kirk: "I asked for a glass of 35 year old Russian Vodka...and well look!"

Data: "Your friends are late"

B4: "They'll be along"

Data: "I can't believe I kissed you"

B4: "Must have been your life long ambition"

 

[cooleddie74]

B-4: You DID tell me to stop while I was ahead.
(*Snickers*)

DATA: I am deactivating you now.


PERMANENTLY.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: Oh, by the way, I got a space-gram from Miri the other day. Remember her? Well, she's about thirty-five years old now and lookin' pretty damned good!
Spock: You never give up, do you.

Kirk: Looks like Khan stuffed him in a storage locker and locked him in.
McCoy: Didn't he do the same thing twenty years ago before we dropped him off on Ceti Alpha the first time?
Kirk (grinning): Hey, yeah! Yeah, he did, didn't he!

Data's dreams of a career in show business crashed and burned when his ventriloquism act was universally panned as just too damned creepy.

 

[Skywalker]

McCoy: "...What'd ya order a dead guy for?"

 

[Smellincoffee]

I have your hand on it, Spock? You'll never volunteer me for a mission involving Klingons?

Kirk: Ensign, you're out of uniform. And...in a box. And what's that I smell?
Chekov: Vwodka, sir. It is a Russian inwention.

 

[Skywalker]

Kirk: "Shall we tango?"

 

[Gepard]

"Ve vere hiding from ze velociraptors."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Well I'll be damned; it's Davy Jones' locker!"

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: It may be nothing, Garbled communications...

Spock: Yes, but Verizon does not have service at Regula One so it must be something else.

Kirk: So anyway, Chekov's a basket case... whoa...

B-4: Why does the tall man have a furry face?

Data: Because if he said "Smooth as an androids behind" just ONE MORE TIME...

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: When you came pullin' in here, did you notice a sign on the front of my house that said "Dead Russian Storage"?

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: It retains more value if you keep it in the box.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: I gave you a hand job, least you could do is give me a towel to clean up with.

Kirk: Russian in a box. Sure as hell beats Prince Albert in a can.

Data: Geordi, when I said I wanted a little head... this wasn't what I had in mind.

 

[Maurice]

SPOCK: Is that the sound of one hand clapping?
KIRK: "Clap"...will likely be...the operative word.

KIRK: Dammit, whenever I order a White Russian the food synthesizer gets it wrong.

 

[SeerSGB]

B4: What is subroutine "LaFrg1andrd1cup"?

Data: I will go get Geordie and a cup...and revise that file name to 2andrd

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Send it back. The Chekov-centric contest was last week and in the other forum."