Movie Caption Contest #136: Engineers

[LeadHead]

Scotty: Ach! There's a Lawsuit.

La Forge: Great, I'm finally able to see normally and who shows up? An old Bald Guy.

Riker: A Photon Torpedo, isn't that the Universal Greeting When Communications are down?

La Forge: That's a Phaser Blast. A Photon Torpedo means their Captain is constipated.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Picard: Full eyesight you say. In that case, have you ever seen a grown man naked, commander?
Geordi: Um, no. Why do you ask?

*ZIP*

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Full eyesight you say. In that case, have you ever seen a grown man naked, commander?
Geordi: Um, no.

Geordi: I've also never been in a Turkish Prison.

 

[LeadHead]

Geordi: Captain, it's a miracle! The radiation from the planet's rings regenerated my eyes. I can see!
Picard: That's wonderful! Who are you again?

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard: Full eyesight you say. In that case, have you ever seen a grown man naked, commander?
Geordi: Um, no.

Geordi: I've also never been in a Turkish Prison.

Geordi: And I don't like of Gladiator movies either.

 

[Rat Boy]

Geordi: "Captain, it's a miracle! The radiation from the planet's rings regenerated my eyes. I can see!"

Picard: "That's wonderful! We'll just have to give you a new job since you don't have your fancy robot eyes anymore..."

Geordi: "Fuck."

 

[Candlelight]

Geordi: "There's a great walking path up beyond the next ridge. Just remember sir, when you get to the two rocks that look like an archway, you must go right"
Picard: "Thank you Geordi"

Riker: "Still no sign of the captain?"
Geordi: "No sir, teams are still looking and OH CRAP I MEANT TO SAY LEFT!!!!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

GEORDI: Christ sir! You've got a butt on your chin!!!!!

GEORDI: Seriously, he has a butt on his chin!

 

[SeerSGB]

Cleary: Ouch...ouch..ouch...damn...fuck...shit...

Scotty: MY HOT POCKET!


Or

Crew next to warpcore: uh, anyone want to put out the electrical fire that's burning next to the massive cylinder of dilithuim lined antimatter death that likes to go boom? Just a thought...anyone...all right, I'll be up deck doing a routine check on the life pods.

Burton (whispering): So, Frakes, how much did those dorks pay you to direct this POS fanfilm? I mean, have your read the script? Zits and tit jokes, how old were the writers anyway...

Frakes: This isn't a fanfilm Levar.

Burton: Shit!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Scotty: "Use your respirator, lad! J.J. is attempting to revision us!!!"

Geordi: "This time I did see shit, sir!"


(I only have MSPaint to use, so sue me if I don't fix it up -- too time consuming)

 

[BriGuy]

Geordi: I have to say, captain, having regular human vision is kind of... disappointing.

Picard: What makes you say that?

Geordi: Well, I can see, and the first thing I get to see is this weak-ass excuse for a town? I mean, come on. I've seen better built stuff at IKEA.

 

[BriGuy]

Riker: I don't get it. My beard comes off. His VISOR comes off. Why does Troi still have her top on?

...

Geordi: And have you noticed how nicely her boobs have firmed up? Hubba hubba.

 

[BriGuy]

Picard: Geordi, you can see!

Geordi: Yes, captain, I can.

Picard: This place is great! You can see, my wrinkles are gone, Worf's got a zit, the girls' boobs are firming up...

Geordi: Actually, it's not all that great sir...

Picard: Why, what is it?

Geordi: Data has regressed into an Omnibot.

Picard: Really? Well, that's not so bad...

Geordi: His tray's missing, his battery won't hold a charge, and half the buttons on the remote don't work.

Picard: Merde.


(For those who don't get it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omnibot)

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard (over comm system): "Attention senior officers: all black people, leave the Bridge now."

Geordi: "...!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Riker: I don't get it. My beard comes off. His VISOR comes off. Why does Troi still have her top on?

...

Geordi: And have you noticed how nicely her boobs have firmed up? Hubba hubba.

Riker: That's more due to her boob job than anything the Briar Patch is doing.

 

[Candlelight]

Picard: Geordi, you can see!

Geordi: Yes, captain, I can.

Picard: This place is great! You can see, my wrinkles are gone, Worf's got a zit, the girls' boobs are firming up...

Geordi: Actually, it's not all that great sir...

Picard: Why, what is it?

Geordi: Data has regressed into an iPad.

Picard: What? That piece of crap technology that became the downfall of Apple in the early 21st century, the very same iPad that caused people everywhere to go blind, the iPad that enslaved thousands and became the indirect cause of world war three, the iPad that-

Geordi: You're a Microsoft person sir, we get it.

 

[Candlelight]

Geordi: "Did... did your chin just fart, sir?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Geordi: This is what we've been wearing all these years! Track suits!
Picard: It's the standard uni--
Geordi: Quick! Shove a stick in my eyes so I'll be blind again.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

LaForge: "So you're Captain Picard! And to think I spent all these years picturing you as William Shatner!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

The sunlight bounces off Picard's skull and...

GEORDI: Auuuuugh!!!!! I'm blind again!!!!