Movie Caption Contest #125: Extras Credit

[Rat Boy]

Slappy nude beer! Let's make loud noises to aggravate the holiday hangovers of...

For hitting one out of the park on the first pitch...

The common, though rarely seen phenomena of Kirk's "Awesomeness" arriving shortly before himself.

For proving that there are some things out there worse than having mind-control slugs shoved into your ear canal, our winner is...

"...follows madness. And death. But, enough about the Michael McDonald I have filtering through your helmets. I want to know about Genesis."

And for running a little interference, our winner is...

McCoy: "Look Robau, You pretty good, but Jim Kirk's the true bad-ass."

Robau: "And where is this "Jim Kirk" right now."

McCoy: "In the ladies powder room, shagging your date."

.

For one of the few jokes not involving pulling of fingers, our winner is...

Maitre D': "Flo, show this gentleman and his dark-robed companion to our best table over there. And don't push the franks 'n' beans on them. The last diners who got that dish put a hole in our counter the size of Cleveland."

For adding a bit more looneyness into a scene apparently inspired by Wile E. Coyote, our winner is...

Kirk: "I have just one question Spock. Where's the turbo lift car?"

For providing ample reason for sensible phaser control laws, our winner is...

Scotty, to vending machine: "That's the last bloody credit ye'll ever take from me ..."

For adding new meaning to "Up your shaft," our winner is...

Picard: "The bath running, mood music, aromatherapy candles. Did I interrupt a little 'me time' Guinan."
Guinan: "You know my door is always open to you Jean-Luc."
Picard: "What's that buzzing sound?"
Guinan: "I don't hear anything."
muffled under cushion: "Batteries low, please replace, batteries low, please replace."
Guinan: "Does everything in this fucking century have to have a voice?"

For the picture that didn't get a lot of love, our winner is...

Bartender: "Riker? Riker sleeps with the fishes!"
Picard: "Doesn't surprise me. The man will sleep with just about anything that breathes."

For showing off how high strung some actors can be, our winner is...

Brent Spiner: That's for making me walk all the way into the water and then only using the stuntman shots!

For the best (if it could be called that) explanation why Gates McFadden wasn't really smiling in the following picture, our winner is...

FRAKES: "Oh, you didn't know? All of Gates' important scenes are going to end up on the cutting room floor! Isn't that just the funniest damn thing you've ever heard?"

I'm getting tired, so let's just reveal our next winner...

"Yeah, Bill snuck onto the set and tried on my uniform..."

...and our Photoshop winner, who surprisingly didn't start a "Who's hotter on Firefly?" debate...

PICARD: A shuttle? How'd you like your own starship?

Congratulations to all of our many winners and here's the new tally:

Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 59
Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 56
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 45
Shatmandu (Hall of Fame) 41
The Laughing Vulcan (Hall of Fame) 28
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 27
middyseafort (Hall of Fame) 23
Triskelion (Hall of Fame) 23
Outpost4 (Hall of Fame) 21
scottydog (Hall of Fame) 21
Turd Ferguson 18
Alrik 17
LeadHead 15
Diesel Micky Dolenz 14
Skywalker 13
Nebusj 12
BriGuy 12
zephramc 12
DS9Sega 11
Tharpdevenport 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
Herkimer Jitty 10
Kirby 9
captain crow 9
Kegek 8
John_Picard 8
Daneel 8
cultcross 7
TheGallifreyanSith 7
Atavachron 6
jptrekker 6
Deranged Nasat 6
Bad Atom 6
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
The Cutest of Borg 5
Mistral 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Peach Wookie 4
Woulfe 4
Piper 4
B.J. 4
Starpaul20 4
Jonas Grumby 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
Amasov 3
SalvorHardin 3
Hartzilla2007 3
Classic Fan 3
M'Sharak 3
Civil Shadow 3
The Squire of Gothos 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
thedude 2
S'Kai 2
seigezunt 2
trampledamage 2
protocida 2
BriGuy 2
26138 2
USS Bones 2
T'Girl 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
Toban Kal 1
trilbymonkey 1
Will 1
Captain Mike 1
T'Boggan 1
Dimesdan 1
shivkala 1
KirkusOveractus 1
CTM 1
Emperor-Tiberius 1
Alpha_Geek 1
Zachary_Smith 1
Plum 1
3 of 11 1
jongredic 1
Super Grover 1
T'Aerwynd 1
shivkala 1
Jackson_Roykirk 1
The Badger 1
Captain Zog 1
J. Allen 1
Lashmore 1
NickRyder 1
Aragorn 1
Rat Boy 1
Tribble 1
DGCatAniSiri 1
Volpone_the_Fox 1
Yeoman Randi 1
Isis 1

You'll understand if I don't do a contest like that again for a while, maybe even a decade. Anyway, I thought I'd through you people another curveball this week by grabbing a few pictures from TrekCore's Rare Photos gallery. First up, we have a test shot from the bridge set of the aborted TV series Star Trek: Phase II, which ended up becoming TMP, so it still counts for our purposes. Next, we have a shot from an edited portion of First Contact. Finally, in what is sure to be ripe for Photoshopping, we honor newly-knighted Sir Patrick Stewart. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Blue shirt (thinking): Don't stare at her tits, don't stare at her tits.

Riker: "Don't just stand there, Donna, help us get his drunken ass out of this bog!"

Donna: "The Doctor never yelled at me like that."

Picard: "Should I have French dressing or is that too on the nose?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Director: Sorry about the use of fold-out chairs. But the real ones don't arrive until Tuesday.

Picard: Computer, prepare the Ranch dressing made out of cream of some young buck.
Computer: Do you wish the Wesley Crusher cream?
Picard: Of course.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks to the judge, the cheque's in the male.

Jim Henson: "And this is Kermit, naked..."
Goldenbald: "Who let this joker on set?"

Riker: "Did you have to tell him that dragging his ass through a crick was a cure for piles?"
LaForge: "My teeth still hurt from that 'Star Trek' line."

Stewart: "Apparently I have to kneel before the Queen... God I hope they don't mean McKellan!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: You'd think with the advances in computer technology, they could put all the salad recipes on one PADD.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Cockran: "What the hell was that?"

Riker: "Plothole."

 

[Candlelight]

"From the top... Why are there so many... songs about rainbows..."

Redhead Chick: "That phaser blast must've hurt"
Riker: "What Phaser? He just read his part in Deep Impact"

Frakes: "And... cut!"
*Stewart throws down salad, pulls out bucket of chicken wings*

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Picard: There seems to be a pubic hair in my salad.

 

[S'kai]

Picard: Damn you little twerp. You told me I could get immediate reservations through Orbitz!

 

[Maurice]

Not a caption, but wow, that's a great pic I've never seen before. Clearly a camera test for Phase II, given the uniforms and the all-white bridge unfinished bridge. Note the stand up gizmo next to the viewer (not the curved cardboard)...that was ripped out by the time TMP came around.

 

[Gepard]

Picard: "CTL + ALT +Delete, dammit! CTL + ALT +Delete!"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Wheel of Fortune in the 23rd Century faced a budget crisis wherupon they could not afford a wheel, as wheels of the era are 24 times the cost of hiring a blond chick in a miniskirt.

Riker: "What happened?"

Geordi: "I dunno, he was Tom Hanks a second ago until I shot him."

Riker: "Until you shot him?"

Geordi: "Until I shot him."

*Picard finds a PADD hidden in his salad and reads it*

Picard: "Let's see what this says then; 'I jizzed in your salad, hugs and kisses, Data' What the f-"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, Rat Boy!

Uber Trekkie (in white shirt): "Aw crap! Forget it, guys. I just found out James Cawley and his buddies beat us to it!"

Frakes: "Goddamned method actors! He's drunk as a skunk!"

Picard: "Dammit, I have got to get all these videos catalogued! Ah, finally, here it is! 'With Vash on Risa'!"

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Blonde in mini skirt: (to Gold Shirt) "Hey quit staring at my tits"

Riker: "Good god man you smell like shit!"

Cochrane: "Ugg I fell in the septic run off"

 

[Rat Boy]

Jim Henson look-a-like: "And Mr. Wise wants the shag carpeting gone. No one would ever believe that there'd be carpets on a spaceship."

Riker: "Christ, I feel like I am lifting the statue."

Picard: "Bills, bills, bills."

 

[Nerys Myk]

WOMAN: Could one of you zip up his fly?

 

[Nerys Myk]

BLONDE: Do I feel a draft?

 

[zephramc]

Old guy in yellow shirt: "Excuse me, which one of us is supposed to say Klingon ship decloaking?"

Jim Henson look-a-like: "Oooh... Good question! Let's see here! Eeney, meeny, miney, moe..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Henson-lite: Look at my finger not at her ass!!!

 

[cooleddie74]

BALD NAVIGATOR: Do we get extra pay if we DON'T grope the extras with big tits?

GEORDI: Funny.

The history books never said ANYTHING about his inability to hold down a fifth of tap water.

WILL: Live and learn.

Publisher's Clearing Colony?

AGAIN?!