Movie Caption Contest #12: Federation Idol

[Rat Boy]

What a rousing way to re-launch the contest! Thanks to all who participated, and here are the winners:

The Spooky Vulcan said:

Kirk: "You can't park worth a damn Spock. You dinged my new paintwork with that warp shuttle of yours."
Spock: "It was a minor scratch, besides, my insurance details are on file."
Kirk: "Geico be damned Spock. You bent the nacelle. Look at it!"

And as Year of Happiness said, why didn't we think of this one:

Sisu said:

McCoy: So ummm....Scotty....you realised he would still be alive if you had bought him direct to Sickbay?

Kirk: Yeah, Scotty...why did you bring him up to the Bridge?

Scotty: I'm th' engineeer..... an' I like th' keep th' Engine Room tidy....

And finally, for the special Photoshop award:

DS9Sega said:
And the story continues...

SPOCK: Commodore Probert says this room is 4 feet too low and would hang out the bottom of the saucer. He is correct.

McCOY: You and Probert's damn logic...!

SPOCK: Now this is a more logical location.

KIRK: Okay Mr. Smarty pants, but those are the wrong nacelles, and there's no windows at this position on the hull on deck 2!

BONES: Do you know how many Trek BBS postings you've started?! You irresponsible, green blooded...!

Congratulations to The Spooky Vulcan, Sisu, and DS9Sega! And now, for the new batch:

 

[Rat Boy]

Unfortunately, Shatner had to find out about his not being in the new movie by reading a news ticker at Times Square.

Data: "First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

"Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive"

 

[cardinal biggles]

Tip #58: Feigning a headache is a great way to cover when you've accidentally felt up a nun.

I like dumb butts and I cannot lie
You Pakled brothers can't deny
When a stupid waste of space puts her fat ass in my face
I get sprung...

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

The Star Trek Jaws crossover was a critical failure. Audience apathy was attributed to the fake-looking shark fin forehead alien.

Data: "When I fart, why do the mountains ripple in the breeze? Watch this..."

 

[Rat Boy]

And just to make people feel slightly better over having this song stuck in their head:

Rat Boy said:

Data: "First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

"Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive"

Worf: "Ugh...Gloria Gaynor."

 

[Amaris]

J.

 

[CorporalClegg]

DATA: So an old lady, a nun, a hippie, and a soldier walk into a bar...

KIRK: Oh, Christ, Data!

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk watches in horror as Spock shows George and Gracie the wonders of bifurcation.

Riker (thinking): A song? The best gift he could come up with a song? That cheap bastard.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Spiner; So a soldier, a nun, a washed up actor and two old women walk into a bar...

Shatner; Huh?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Jim: (inner monologue, "I could have had a V8!"

 

[The Old Mixer]

"If I was invisible,
If I could just watch you in your room...."

"Clay...why'd it have to be Clay...?"

 

[CaptainJon]

"It is with great pleasure that I get to announce the cast members from the original Star Trek series who will be appearing in J.J. Abrams' new Trek film..."
(opens envelope)
"Leonard Nimoy and...no, no...just Leonard."

The "We Want Kirk" Fan Club is shocked to learn that their efforts went unnoticed, despite the efforts of its founder, President, spokesman, mascot, and costumer.

 

[Candlelight]

"...and for those of you wondering - yes, the man behind me is trying to fist me"

Shatner thought the movie version of TJ Hooker was a great idea.

Showing it at an aquarium instead of a cinema - not so much.

 

[Adagio]

"This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here:
HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate
My satisfaction..."

 

[Maurice]

to the tune of "My Way"

Regrets, I wish I knew;
But then again, I've no emotion.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through that borg commotion.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful jump of hyperspace way,
But much much more than this.
I did it myyyyyyy wayyyyyyyyyyyyy

(courtesy of Versobaby )

 

[Maurice]

Shatner demonstrates to his Extras the delicate subtleties of reacting to Sybok in the deleted Rec Deck scene of Star Trek V.

 

[Kegek]

Data: I'm a droid, and you're a 'noid!

Data: I'm a droid and you're a 'noid!

Data: Droid as in android. Noid as in humanoid! Humour! I love it!

Data: I'm a droid and you're a 'noid!

Worf: Alright, I'm annoyed!

 

[Rat Boy]

Who knew Data was so musically talented?

Garth Data: "Blame it all on my roots
I showed up in boots
And ruined your black tie affair
The last one to know
The last one to show
I was the last one
You thought you'd see there
And I saw the surprise
And the fear in his eyes
When I took his glass of champagne
And I toasted you
Said, honey, we may be through
But you'll never hear me complain

"'cause I've got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns
And the beer chases my blues away
And I'll be okay
I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis
Oh, I've got friends in low places."

Data Ramone: "Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated
Nothin' to do and no where to go-o-oh I wanna be sedated
Just get me to the airport put me on a plane
Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane
I can't control my fingers I can't control my brain
Oh no no no no no
Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go....
Just put me in a wheelchair, get me on a plane
Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane
I can't control my fingers I can't control my brain
Oh no no no no no."

 

[Gertch]

Almost everyone was transfixed at the size of George's anatomy. Then they remembered he was a whale.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk: "My god, it is forked! Carl wasn't lying!"