Movie Caption Contest #117: The Parent Trap

[Captain Crow]

 

[Rat Boy]

Winona: "I just had this horrible feeling."

Dr. Big Eyes: "What's that?"

Winona: "That my son's going to end up in a series of anus jokes."

 

[Candlelight]

Bitsy: "I was all like 'hope you have a stupid christmas' and she was like 'shut your anus' and I was like 'it's already shut' and she was like-"

Picard: "SHUT YOUR ANUS"

 

[Captain Crow]

Little Snot Picard: Da-dee, now that we've watched that rubbish Charlie Brown Christmas cartoon, can we watch "The Hanus Anus Goes to Uranus"?

 

[scottydog]

Bitsy: "I got an A minus on my report card."

Picard: "HEAR YE, HEAR YE, BITSY GOT AN ANUS ON HER REPORT CARD."

 

[John Picard]

Kid with book: (reading aloud) "Old Nick, the sea captain, was a rough, tough, jolly sort of fellow. He loved the life of the sea, and he loved to hang out down by the pier where the men dressed as ladies..."

Itsy-bitsy Picard: "Are you *jolly* Papa?"

 

[Candlelight]

Bitsy: "I do love you so very much, Papa, merry christmas."

Picard: "I love you too Bitsy, merry christmas"

Kid in back: "Hey everyone, look at my rectum"

 

[Shatmandu]

<Picard leans in for a peck on the cheek.>
Bitsy, pulling back: "Mummy said you've been fiddling with the milk maids too much to kiss safely."

 

[scottydog]

Bitsy: "Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?"

Picard: "Truth be told, I was so sloshed that I thought we were doing anal."

 

[Shatmandu]

Bitsy: "Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?"
Picard: "If by 'love' you mean a Prague Burger King bathroom, then yes."

Bitsy: "Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?"
Picard: "Frankly, I was drunk and thought your mother was a man. Merry Christmas."

 

[scottydog]

Bitsy: "Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?"
Picard: "Damned if I know how you survived three abortion attempts. They just don't make coat hangers like they used to."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Bitsy: "Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?"

Picard: "If neither spitting nor swallowing, instead keeping my little fellas on ice, using a turkey baster until you get pregnant, then showing up 9 months later with a sprog and a paternity suit, and milking me for every credit I'm worth, means conceived in love, then yes, sweetie. Sure. Merry Christmas!"

 

[SeerSGB]

Susie Picard: Daddy, Rene's been posting on TrekBBS again, he put my kindergarten photo up for a caption contest and the people said mean things about me!

Picard: I'm not seeing the problem here.

 

[BriGuy]

Bitsy: "Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?"

Picard: "Yes, I believe the mailman loved your mother very much."

 

[SeerSGB]

Bitsy: Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?

Picard: Let me call a meeting in the conference room in 5 minutes, we must discuss all our options before repsonding.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Bitsy: "Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?"

Picard: "Yes, I believe the mailman loved your mother very much."

I LITERALLY spit out my soup when i read this one!!!!! SCORE!!!!!

 

[Captain Crow]

Bitsy: Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?

Picard: No it's not. Neither your mother or I has ever been to Love, Mississippi. Though we did go to Bum Fuck, Egypt once

 

[Bones2]

Bitsy: Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?

Picard: Let me call a meeting in the conference room in 5 minutes, we must discuss all our options before repsonding.

Bitsy: Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?

Picard: YOU HAVE COMMITTED ACTS OF AGGRESSION AGAINST THE UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS! IF YOU DO NOT WITHDRAW IMMEDIATELY...

 

[Shatmandu]

I LITERALLY spit out my soup when i read this one!!!!! SCORE!!!!!

I never eat lunch while looking at these anymore, after having a hunk of bologna stuck in my sinuses for a day after something Cooleddie wrote made me gack.

Joe, blown

 

[Shatmandu]

Bitsy: "Mum said I was conceived in love. Is that true?"
Picard: "Well, I love Jim Beam, so sure, what the fuck. Go get me some nog, kid."