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Picard: People this is the day we've been training for. Dick Cheney has gone quail hunting and we must protect everyone within 50 miles of that location. God help us all.
Reactions to a screening of STXI on the Enterprise were mixed, to say the least.
Picard: Mr. Data, our options are to blindly rush at zombie Captain Kirk while firing our phasers or to stay up here and shoot up, correct?
Data: Yes, sir.
Picard: Merde. Alright everyone, line up to take your shot. The one who hits Kirk gets a plaque and a huge stuffed animal of your choice.
As usual, male obliviousness provides ample opportunities for female amusement.
Geordi and Guinan contemplate warning the audience of the coming failure known as Nemesis.
Guinan: "Shuttle transporters."
Geordi: "Hmm?"
Guinan: "Shuttle transporters. I was just thinking how usefull and handy they are if you loose all transporter function on your starship"
Geordi: "I must remember that- ooooooh, they got samosas!"
The crew were amazed at Data'a ability to have glowing red shits.
Riker, off camera: It's not the metaphasic radiation particles that are making your boobs firm and perky, it's the standard issue padded bras that Paramount makes you wear.
"We're only in this shity film because we need money."
Guinan: Did I ever tell you about the time I was in bartending school?
LaForge: Nah.
Guinan: I stuck a flute, like this one I'm drinking from, up my...