Monkeys on the loose where I live!

[Mallory]

I haven't seen the Army, any helicopters or Dustin Hoffman yet, so I think the situation is still under control.

 

[Holdfast]

I think the only reasonable option in situations like this is to allow even deadlier monkeys to roam free and hunt down these escaped monkeys. Really, what could go wrong?

Brilliant image.

 

[Lindley]

In unrelated news, a man wearing a massive yellow hat was recently spotted in the area.

 

[Jayson]

Maybe this was someone trying out my ,door to door monkeys salesman, sex fantasy , only having it backfire! Remember girls when you lock your guy/sextoy in the cage that those monkeys already in the cage might see this as a chance to escape. You got to be careful.


Jason

Jason

 

[Squiggy]

Update: As of this morning, only one monkey remains on the loose. He's probably the smartest, cleverest one though which may not be a good thing.

A picture of this crafty fugitive has been released to the press.

IT'S LARRY KING!

 

[Mallory]

Well, the last fugitive monkey was recaptured this afternoon so my Monkey Alert has been cancelled. The crisis is over for now.

 

[Squiggy]

 

[Jayson]

Well, the last fugitive monkey was recaptured this afternoon so my Monkey Alert has been cancelled. The crisis is over for now.

That seems so unfair. Could you visit the monkeys and give them a bannana with a file inside it? This way they can escape their captivity again.

Jason

 

[Mallory]

Sorry Jayson, I can't get anywhere near them. It's a biological/disease research center off limits to the public.

Besides, I really don't want to go in there. They have monkeys infected with all kinds of unpleasant things. The further I am from them the better.

 

[RJDiogenes]

I wonder if anybody got any video of the monkeys running amok.

 

[Jayson]

Sorry Jayson, I can't get anywhere near them. It's a biological/disease research center off limits to the public.

Besides, I really don't want to go in there. They have monkeys infected with all kinds of unpleasant things. The further I am from them the better.

Don't worry I can help you complete your mission. I have seen plenty of tv and movies. All you need to do to get iinside the faculity is to wear glasses and la abcoat. They will let you in, no questions asked.

As for what they may be infected with. It's proaby just Super Ubber Aids. Since we all know Aids was created by the government back in the late 70's by experimenting on monkeys it's pretty easy to figure this out. You should be fine just as long as you don't have sex with the monkeys.

Jason

 

[Mallory]

I wonder if anybody got any video of the monkeys running amok.

One woman got picture of a monkey on top of an apartment complex, but I haven't seen any videos yet.

 

[Misfit Toy]

Well, the last fugitive monkey was recaptured this afternoon so my Monkey Alert has been cancelled. The crisis is over for now.

That's just what they want you to think!!

 

[Mallory]

You're right. Since it's been all government announcements so far, all of the monkeys could still be out wandering around.

 

[RJDiogenes]

There's a video of the Monkey compound here, but nothing of the monkeys on the loose.

 

[Mallory]

That's just the compound. They have hundreds more monkeys inside the buildings.

It's a Jayson paradise, as long as he doesn't get bitten or have sex with one of them.

 

[RJDiogenes]

I'll bet the labs are staffed by Cheerleaders with Robot assistants.

 

[Mallory]

^ All of them waiting for the next door-to-door monkey salesman to show up.