money as wedding presents

[Marc]

recent article and letters in The Australian brought up the issue of people asking for money as a wedding present which it seems some people find offensive.

Is it really that bad though? These day many people live together for sometime before they get married others like me move overseas after getting married so the money makes more sense (no pun intended).

It also beats the duplication of presents which sometimes occurs.

 

[FrontLine]

Its is kinda gauche, but at the same time it makes sense. I mean hell look at wedding registries and the crap you find on it. Blenders, towels, etc.. Just give the couple cash so that they can get what they both want. Either that or make sure the couple has a registery at the local home improvement center as well.

 

[Tim]

I was just buying a present for some friends that get married in a month. They had gift certificates on their registry and labeled as something they'd "love to have," so I bought one. I figured it was best to get them something that they actually wanted.

 

[Marc]

Its is kinda gauche, but at the same time it makes sense. I mean hell look at wedding registries and the crap you find on it. Blenders, towels, etc.. Just give the couple cash so that they can get what they both want. Either that or make sure the couple has a registery at the local home improvement center as well.

yes I believe gauche is one word that was used in a letter to the editor

The other thing is that some of what the couple might need are fairly expensive and not something you can generally expect (unless your family as a whole goes in or you're paris hilton). Something essential like a washing machine can be several hundred dollars and that's a bit much to expect yet you'll need it more than an fancy place set.

 

[auntiehill]

I find giving cash to be a bit tacky, myself. However, a gift card to a certain store doesn't seem so bad. It means I at least went to the trouble of seeing where they were registered and giving them a gift card for whatever odds and ends they might need. Giving cash is like saying, "I couldn't be bothered to make an effort on your behalf, so here's some money."

Logically, money and gift cards are the same thing, but I just feel more comfortable giving gift cards. What I usually do is give them a small to medium priced gift (like 30-40 bucks) and, if I'm very close to them and know that they need a lot (like younger couples), I throw in a gift card for another 25-30 dollars.

 

[sidious618]

Weddings are incredibly stupid in the first place and the whole gift giving thing is equally bizarre.

 

[The Sneeze Police]

I think giving money or gift cards to young couples is sensible...if I do not know the couple that well, it is what I prefer to give. I think sentimental hand-me-downs or handmade gifts are the lovliest, and reserve them for couples which are close to me.

It is the weddings & receptions themselves which are all too often overdone & overpriced.

 

[Captain Shaw]

I think it is better than the wedding list because some people can not afford the gifts on them things.

 

[Newspaper Taxi]

Tacky, yet logical.

 

[JAG]

I have always given money. Fits in my pocket, They don't have to drag anything home with them. It's always the right color.

 

[EyalM]

In Israel money is the preferred wedding gift. Helps the couple pay for the wedding.

 

[Daneel]

It may not exactly be something from the heart, but at least it's practical. I haven't been to a full-fledged wedding (reception in a big hall, dinner, dancing, the works) in ages... and the few weddings I have attended were ones I went to with my parents, so I've managed to luck out and not ever have to give money or a gift.

If I were invited to one myself, though, I don't think I'd be offended if the couple asked for cash rather than presents. If I ever got married (yeah, right), I'd probably rather have money, personally.

 

[sbk1234]

It's not the giving of money that I find tacky, but the asking for it.

 

[ancientone51]

^sbk1234 you beat me to it.

 

[Peach Wookiee]

Well, if I were getting married, I'd say if you really aren't sure what will work for you if you want to give a gift, we won't be offended if you want to give a gift card. Less returns that way. ^^

 

[Alpha Romeo]

recent article and letters in The Australian brought up the issue of people asking for money as a wedding present which it seems some people find offensive.

Is it really that bad though? These day many people live together for sometime before they get married others like me move overseas after getting married so the money makes more sense (no pun intended).

It also beats the duplication of presents which sometimes occurs.

When we got married, my wife and I got almost 8K. Plus gifts.

 

[auntiehill]

^Same here. I was stunned how generous some people were. My aunt, who I hadn't seen in YEARS, sent me the most elaborate gift that I hadn't even asked for. I think she just liked me because I was the only one from that side of the family who had any contact with her. I sent her Christmas letters and thank you notes, but no one else in the family every did.

She sent me 12 crystal goblets from Neiman Marcus. And I hadn't seen her or spoken to her in about 5 years---just the occasional card once or twice a year. I was floored!

My parents paid for the wedding, which was small-ish, and gave us about 10,000. One of hubby's relatives gave us an envelope at the wedding that had a check in it for a few hundred bucks, too. We also had guests who didn't give us anything at all, which was fine because I didn't expect them to, but they felt the need to tell us before the wedding that they weren't giving us a gift.

Asking for money outright is a bit tacky. Gift card requests I can see, but just asking for cash? That seems a bit over the top to me.

 

[Tim]

^ You're making this whole "married" thing sound lucrative. I feel like I should look into this racket.

 

[Scout101]

Money's the gift I'd rather have. "heartfelt" or not, no one gives a shit, or is impressed, but your sincere gift of a blender or a sheet set. Unless it was asked for specifically, what's the difference?

I'll have to deal with this soon, as I'm getting married next year, but honestly, just send cash. My fiance and I live together already, and are pretty fully furnished/stocked. Not really anything we need, and the few things I could think of would be beyond the price point of a wedding gift...

 

[JiNX-01]

It's not the giving of money that I find tacky, but the asking for it.

Exactly.

Actually, it's tacky to even mention gifts of any kind when inviting people to a party (even if gifts are traditionally given).

And contrary to common belief, if you have a gift registry, you are not supposed to enclose a little card with the invitation directing your guests to it. However, you may tell people about it if they ask.