Mental Wellness Support Group

[Victoria]

I've managed to ruin my day anyway.

See? You are doing it again. You haven't done anything to ruin your day. What has ruined your day is that women's clothes aren't made in your size. Guess what? I'm a cis-woman and currently, I am wearing men's jeans (because women's jeans are too short, too narrow in the waist and too big in the hip), a man's t-shirt (women's t-shirts are too short and too narrow in the shoulder) and men's socks (I have big feet). Women's clothes aren't made in my size either. That's not my "fault" and it isn't your "fault" either. Stop blaming yourself.

I wish I could say something helpful about losing weight but I find I'm thin when I am busy and focussed and fat when I am not. A friend of mine did say that they found ready-meals useful when dieting because they make "portion control" easy. That might be a step in the right direction without having to wait until you've learnt to cook.

 

[fireproof78]

I should be happy but I'm worried that this energy might actually come from just weaponizing my self-hatred, shame at disappointing my therapist and sheer spite, instead of a genuine desire to turn my life around.

Sublimation is a term I prefer to use. Rather than let the energy wallow I use it to move forward towards a goal.

I think the job interview went pretty well, but the woman who did the interview said I'd hear back yesterday, and I never did. I always give them a few extra days before I really start to worry when it comes to this kind of stuff though, so I'm not giving up hope yet.

To echo @Commander Troi definitely call to follow up. I always recommend to candidates to call and follow up. Shows interest and drive.

 

[SJGardner]

Sublimation is a term I prefer to use. Rather than let the energy wallow I use it to move forward towards a goal.

This is a great point of view, thank you for sharing it. I feel like it could be really helpful in reframing situations like this.

See? You are doing it again. You haven't done anything to ruin your day. What has ruined your day is that women's clothes aren't made in your size. Guess what? I'm a cis-woman and currently, I am wearing men's jeans (because women's jeans are too short, too narrow in the waist and too big in the hip), a man's t-shirt (women's t-shirts are too short and too narrow in the shoulder) and men's socks (I have big feet). Women's clothes aren't made in my size either. That's not my "fault" and it isn't your "fault" either. Stop blaming yourself.

I wish I could say something helpful about losing weight but I find I'm thin when I am busy and focussed and fat when I am not. A friend of mine did say that they found ready-meals useful when dieting because they make "portion control" easy. That might be a step in the right direction without having to wait until you've learnt to cook.

I'm sorry for being whiny. I have a tendency to see things in black and white when I'm at wit's end and can't think of a way out of my predicament. For example, I have no idea if I'd really have to end up switching back to wearing men's clothes, I'm just so scared of having to relearn how to dress myself properly from the ground up completely on my own that all I can think of is "what if I can't do it". I do recognize that many women wear men's clothes either out of necessity or choice, and thank you for the unsaid confirmation that my womanhood doesn't depend on what I'm wearing... still, I'm afraid that going back would make me feel like I've given up. I don't exactly pass as a woman, and switching back to men's clothes would make me see an obvious man when I look in the mirror, someone who is only recognized as a woman in online anonymity, or by friends out of politeness.

 

[Commander Troi]

I just have to accept I'll never have a body type remotely feminine enough for ladies' clothes and it's forever oversized t-shirts snug on my beer belly for me.

I'm a "born female" and I have a pot belly and I wear "ladies'" clothes. Fuck that shit! You're being too hard on yourself. You are a WOMAN no matter what you wear.

 

[Commander Troi]

My mom was discharged from the hospital last Friday. I went up on Sunday to give my dad a chance to go to the store. She can barely stand and can't walk. She needs to be pushed in the wheelchair to go to the bathroom. I'm really scared she won't get better.

 

[JD]

Sublimation is a term I prefer to use. Rather than let the energy wallow I use it to move forward towards a goal.


To echo @Commander Troi definitely call to follow up. I always recommend to candidates to call and follow up. Shows interest and drive.

I didn't need to, I got the job offer this morning, and filled out the information for the background check. It'll take a few days for that to go through, but I don't know of any reason why it wouldn't.

 

[fireproof78]

I didn't need to, I got the job offer this morning, and filled out the information for the background check. It'll take a few days for that to go through, but I don't know of any reason why it wouldn't.

Congratulations!

 

[JD]

Thanks.

 

[Weyoun 251]

I didn't need to, I got the job offer this morning, and filled out the information for the background check. It'll take a few days for that to go through, but I don't know of any reason why it wouldn't.

So pleased for you mate - I have had periods of unemployment and it feels 10x harder to find a job and everything can feel like the sky is falling so amazing news that you got the offer!

Legend

 

[JD]

Thanks.

 

[Bynar0110]

I didn't need to, I got the job offer this morning, and filled out the information for the background check. It'll take a few days for that to go through, but I don't know of any reason why it wouldn't.

Congrats on the job JD.

 

[Bynar0110]

Since i'm nearing 40. I'm just wondering if should become less reliant and distance myself from hobbies I enjoy especially those that need a computer or smartphone. An example being listening to mp3s. I just want to make it easier on myself if I end in a situation where I become less independent(assistance living care faculty) or homeless.

 

[JD]

Congrats on the job JD.

Thanks.

 

[fireproof78]

Since i'm nearing 40. I'm just wondering if should become less reliant and distance myself from hobbies I enjoy especially those that need a computer or smartphone. An example being listening to mp3s. I just want to make it easier on myself if I end in a situation where I become less independent(assistance living care faculty) or homeless.

Can I ask what you replace it with?


I turned 40 this year and currently continue the following hobbies:
Writing-fan fiction, non fan fiction, roleplays and the like.
Action figures: customizing, building dioramas, learning better paint techniques
Construction: I use to build Legos more, but now I'm getting better with wood working and tools
Reading: still have several books to complete.

As I get older, I usually become more interested in different interests but usually more selected ones. Right now I'm working on different figures, rather than figures, writing and construction.

 

[Commander Troi]

Since i'm nearing 40. I'm just wondering if should become less reliant and distance myself from hobbies I enjoy especially those that need a computer or smartphone. An example being listening to mp3s. I just want to make it easier on myself if I end in a situation where I become less independent(assistance living care faculty) or homeless.

No. Enjoy what you can today.

 

[Bynar0110]

Can I ask what you replace it with?


I turned 40 this year and currently continue the following hobbies:
Writing-fan fiction, non fan fiction, roleplays and the like.
Action figures: customizing, building dioramas, learning better paint techniques
Construction: I use to build Legos more, but now I'm getting better with wood working and tools
Reading: still have several books to complete.

As I get older, I usually become more interested in different interests but usually more selected ones. Right now I'm working on different figures, rather than figures, writing and construction.

Nothing really since I don't feel interested in anything else. Hobbies depresses me too.

 

[fireproof78]

Nothing really since I don't feel interested in anything else. Hobbies depresses me too.

Not a matter of interest but what are you going to do? Life is not just hobbies or interests but how we engage the world.

 

[Bynar0110]

Not a matter of interest but what are you going to do? Life is not just hobbies or interests but how we engage the world.

Hopefully my number is called in the next few years via natural causes.

 

[fireproof78]

Hopefully my number is called in the next few years via natural causes.

And if not? Why wish to deprive people of your presence because you're disinterested?

 

[SJGardner]

After three years of anxiety, decision paralysis and waiting, I've finally managed to book an appointment with an endocrinologist for the many medical tests they require for me to start hormone replacement therapy, three weeks from today. If everything goes right, I might actually receive my first prescription before my birthday. It would be the best present to myself if that happened.