I used to journal quite a bit, just to get all the darkness I felt out of my mind. Then I made the mistake of re-reading it, and so much just flooded right back in. That was about 7 years ago, and I haven't tried it again since.
Mental Wellness Support Group
- Thread starter Twilight Phoenix
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*HUGS* to all who need them.
Agreed, but it turns out I confused Love and Devotion for a path that led down to Unworthiness…love given is only as good as love received. As it turns out…
DON’T
You are You and have been living Your Life, good and bad.
Questions parts of it, sure…DON’T question Everything…you are still here…
I feel I do too.
I think it's do to my childhood experiences and expectations set.
I think it's do to my childhood experiences and expectations set.
We're wired to stay "safe" by doing the same things. Change is incredibly hard.
*HUGS*
Indeed, yes. Hell, even contemplating change is hard. Most people go through their lives without examining the "Whys" of things in their behaviors. They don't question it, nor do I think humans are encouraged to do so. It takes deliberate work, discomfort and insight to start that process.
My sister Annie must be upset after I left her at the top of the hill in Barcelona's Guell Park earlier. Then we just did our own things separately.
For today, she had booked these back to back tours with hardly any breaks in between. I don't mind going on a day-long tour, but it's different when you try to cram so many things in a short time. That's her traveling style; that's not my cup of tea.
I had to miss a couple of scheduled tours, since I was exhausted, the weather was getting too warm, and I was feeling overwhelmed with the massive number of tourists.
Cities like Porto and Barcelona are beautiful, but I do miss the conveniences of home and living in the U.S., where you don't have to pay to use public restrooms.
For today, she had booked these back to back tours with hardly any breaks in between. I don't mind going on a day-long tour, but it's different when you try to cram so many things in a short time. That's her traveling style; that's not my cup of tea.
I had to miss a couple of scheduled tours, since I was exhausted, the weather was getting too warm, and I was feeling overwhelmed with the massive number of tourists.
Cities like Porto and Barcelona are beautiful, but I do miss the conveniences of home and living in the U.S., where you don't have to pay to use public restrooms.
Find something physical to do. Go for a walk.
I've been on another popular sci-fi forum for over a decade now, and I feel like topics like this often get pushed to the bottom of distant pages for one reason or another. It's sad but largely expected with such large amounts of traffic.
I'm glad that many of you feel like you have been able to express yourself and be open about your struggles. It's so easy to forget that there are real people behind these posts.
I hope that this new week delivers happiness in some form, to all of you.
I'm glad that many of you feel like you have been able to express yourself and be open about your struggles. It's so easy to forget that there are real people behind these posts.
I hope that this new week delivers happiness in some form, to all of you.
My mom has been in the ICU for 6 days. It's either pneumonia or congestive heart failure. My dad's a wreck and it's getting to me too. I ate a whole chocolate bar last night before bed and then woke at 2am and had trouble getting back to sleep. Stress sucks.
Hugs. Sending positive vibes your way.
It sucks so much. I'm so sorry
I feel you for sure. My Mom was in the hospital for 6 weeks in early 2015, with a very sudden and aggressive form of lung cancer. They had to put her into a coma for the last week, and then my sister and I had to agree to shut down her life support after the doctors said she wouldn't recover. It was definitely one of the worst times of my life, up to that point.
Hugs! I know how much that feeling of helplessness can eat away at you when a loved one isn't doing great. I sincerely hope things take a positive upswing for you and your family.
Workplace stress is quickly getting the better of me. I've made the dumb mistake of forgetting that a major automated job should've been processed for a client over last weekend. While me being based in Europe means I could cover my behind by processing the update on Monday morning and normally everything would still be updated on the client's front-end by business open in the US, a completely unexpected error, that we didn't even think was possible at all, happened which caused the entire update to be stuck. This not only made it look like to the client that I hadn't done anything at all due to me not confirming on Friday that the update was being done, but it was also such an arcane code error that it required calling in lead developers from several different teams to work on resolving it for almost two entire business days, most of which was spent trying to answer the same question to six people asking it separately at the same time and reading increasingly irate e-mails from the client that after a while began to be written in all-caps, accusing me personally of letting down and dropping the ball on a critical industry client even though I have personally guaranteed that it would be online by end of day on Monday.
I'm just ashamed of the whole thing and keep replaying it in my head over and over to see what I could've done differently, even though the nature of the error means it would've happened anyway no matter when I started the update, but mostly about how I immediately lost my cool and panicked over the weight of everything within sight of at least a dozen colleagues and my own manager to the point of repeatedly hitting my head against the wall in a pure helpless rage at myself and the whole situation, and loudly whining that I can't bear this anymore and I'm quitting my job immediately (which luckily wasn't taken seriously by anyone). I'm completely torn between a conviction that I screwed up and it's on me, and knowing it was completely out of my hands, but I'm mostly beating myself up (figuratively this time) over this feeling that I'm just not cut out for it, that I immediately cave under the pressure whenever there's a crisis (and it's always in situations where I'm stuck waiting for a reply from those equipped to assist me while also trying to reassure impatient clients breathing down my neck demanding the same answers I'm waiting for), and that it was a mistake to promote me into a client-facing position to begin with even though I've been covering this part of the job for over six years now. And needless to say, it's always this same client. To make it even worse, I'm the only one in the team with the experience needed to handle this specific client.
My therapist told me last week (ironically, before this incident even happened) that everybody panics every once in a while and I shouldn't be so harsh on myself for doing so, but I can't help but compare myself to all my other coworkers who somehow never seem to have breakdowns like this. Why can't I stay composed and just analyze the problem and do what needs to be done? Why do I have to fire the entire nuclear arsenal the moment something goes the tiniest bit off script?
I'm just ashamed of the whole thing and keep replaying it in my head over and over to see what I could've done differently, even though the nature of the error means it would've happened anyway no matter when I started the update, but mostly about how I immediately lost my cool and panicked over the weight of everything within sight of at least a dozen colleagues and my own manager to the point of repeatedly hitting my head against the wall in a pure helpless rage at myself and the whole situation, and loudly whining that I can't bear this anymore and I'm quitting my job immediately (which luckily wasn't taken seriously by anyone). I'm completely torn between a conviction that I screwed up and it's on me, and knowing it was completely out of my hands, but I'm mostly beating myself up (figuratively this time) over this feeling that I'm just not cut out for it, that I immediately cave under the pressure whenever there's a crisis (and it's always in situations where I'm stuck waiting for a reply from those equipped to assist me while also trying to reassure impatient clients breathing down my neck demanding the same answers I'm waiting for), and that it was a mistake to promote me into a client-facing position to begin with even though I've been covering this part of the job for over six years now. And needless to say, it's always this same client. To make it even worse, I'm the only one in the team with the experience needed to handle this specific client.
My therapist told me last week (ironically, before this incident even happened) that everybody panics every once in a while and I shouldn't be so harsh on myself for doing so, but I can't help but compare myself to all my other coworkers who somehow never seem to have breakdowns like this. Why can't I stay composed and just analyze the problem and do what needs to be done? Why do I have to fire the entire nuclear arsenal the moment something goes the tiniest bit off script?
I don't have answers for you, but *HUGS*.
Sounds like you've had a terrible time.
It's amazing that human beings seem incapable of realising that bombarding people with emails isn't going to get a situation sorted any faster. .If someone's having to deal with emails then they can't get on with the job.
there's nothing I can do to help but I would say is that I bet every single one of your other coworkers has felt exactly the same at some point so you've got nothing to beat yourself up about.
I hope things will feel better soon.
It's amazing that human beings seem incapable of realising that bombarding people with emails isn't going to get a situation sorted any faster. .If someone's having to deal with emails then they can't get on with the job.
there's nothing I can do to help but I would say is that I bet every single one of your other coworkers has felt exactly the same at some point so you've got nothing to beat yourself up about.
I hope things will feel better soon.
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