Mental Wellness Support Group

[fireproof78]

So I'm still feeling bad today. Anxious. Was writing down everything going on in my life and my usual triggers and how nothing should be making me feel this way when I realized it's the anniversary (ish) of something terrible. So I figure that's probably a chunk of the reason.

Sometimes there is zero reason for it to be there, other than it has always been there. It's ok for there to be no reason.

One of the things I focus on and practice with a lot of habits and responses is the simple fact that we as humans are creatures of habit, not just for fun but because that's how we survived. If we survived something horrible then all the more so that our brain goes "Be on the lookout for that." Freud would call it "free floating anxiety." I would call it "need to survive." And we rarely got there overnight so we can't expect to leave their overnight. It takes practice, acceptance and recognition that both I was hurt in the past and I'm safe now.

Easy to say; harder to do.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Regarding voicemail and phone calls in general, I can relate.

I have a friend who, shall I say, is on the chatty side. We both live in the Bay Area but don't get to see each other often, but we do get together for lunch occasionally. Whenever she calls me, I get anxious because it's bound to be a 2-hour minimum phone conversation with her.

She's a very good friend, and this has been going on for the last 25 years I've known her. I know this situation is not very likely to change. And as I get older, the less time I want to spend yakking on the phone.

So what I do is, I don't pick up the phone on the nights I don't feel like doing a chat marathon. I let her leave a lengthy voicemail. Then I text her the following day. I would also prefer that she email me, but she's not big on texting or emailing.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's perfectly okay to set boundaries. Saying no to others means saying yes to yourself. That's part of my mindfulness practice.

Ugh, typos.

 

[fireproof78]

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's perfectly okay to set bounderies. Saying no to others mean saying yes to yourself. That's part of my mindfulness practice.

Correct. And very important to know your limits. And when it's time to push them.

 

[bdub76]

Yeah like I've always had bad cases of "anniversary syndrome" so I combat it in two ways:

1) trying to do new and exciting things on the anniversaries so the traumatic events are overwritten by positive events on the same day.

2) just letting it go like any other day and doing my best not to focus on it (vs my having calendar reminders for them) until eventually it becomes another day

But sometimes it creeps up on you

Exercise is a good distraction from dwelling on stuff. Playing video games works for some people too. A healthy distraction is a good thing.

 

[fireproof78]

Exercise is a good distraction from dwelling on stuff. Playing video games works for some people too. A healthy distraction is a good thing.

Or completing a task, even something simple.

 

[SJGardner]

There are times when something as little as taking my laundry off the clothesline and folding them feels like I'm accomplishing something. It's also a repetitive task and has a definite end, so it gives me a comfortable routine that helps me not to dwell on the bad stuff, not to mention tidying up the place almost feels symbolic of decluttering my mind in a way.

 

[bdub76]

There are times when something as little as taking my laundry off the clothesline and folding them feels like I'm accomplishing something. It's also a repetitive task and has a definite end, so it gives me a comfortable routine that helps me not to dwell on the bad stuff, not to mention tidying up the place almost feels symbolic of decluttering my mind in a way.

I like to clean when I'm sick.

 

[JD]

I actually managed to talk to a guy at the stables I've been wanting to work at, but he just told me I should try calling again, and leave a voice mail this time, and the owner will call me back if she's interested. He seemed doubtful that she would though, he said she's "already got her guys".

 

[Silvercrest]

I've got a positive report. I've been through an eight-year cycle of depression, anxiety, resentment, and just plain anger. Some of that history was described in my thread I'm back. Now what? about 4 1/2 years ago. At that time Mrs. Silvercrest and I had been through a terrible family situation and thought we were recovering.

What I didn't quite understand was that all my emotions would continue to "boil over" for the next few years. I started seeing way too many things as a threat, took everything personally, and reacted unpredictably to confrontations. Eventually I started suffering panic attacks and flashbacks. My therapist judged it as PTSD.

Although I'd seen the therapist periodically over the years (and regularly since the beginning of 2022), until this year it seemed like I couldn't get anywhere. We worked through various issues that allowed me to rationalize things in my head — but I didn't feel any different. I knew I shouldn't be feeling the anger and everything else (and knew I shouldn't take everything personally), but didn't understand how to stop.

About three months ago, I was able to take a sudden step forward. After a very stressful afternoon, I took a long nap ... and woke up feeling immensely calm and relaxed. Suddenly I was able to identify the threats, confrontations, sources of anxiety, etc. and knew how to take a step back from them. This has continued. I don't understand why it happened, except maybe it simply took a long time to "click". Alternately, when you pray for something long enough and fervently enough, God may sometimes say, "Okay, I guess he means it. Here you go."

It's not perfect. A lot of the anger, resentment, anxiety, etc. is still there; I've merely figured out how to separate myself from them. My biggest concern is backsliding, so I have to watch out and not take this for granted. And there are things I still haven't re-learned, like how to get real pleasure out of my accomplishments.

But it felt constructive enough that I could discontinue the therapy. For now. I didn't rush to stop it, either. I waited two more months (making sure this state of mind would stick) before making that decision.

 

[Bynar0110]

Is there anything, even just a tiny thing, you can look forward to in say the next week or two?

I've done the vampire sleep cycle. It's rough to break out of. *HUGS*

No, nothing look forward to.

 

[Gryffindorian]

I've got a positive report. I've been through an eight-year cycle of depression, anxiety, resentment, and just plain anger. Some of that history was described in my thread I'm back. Now what? about 4 1/2 years ago. At that time Mrs. Silvercrest and I had been through a terrible family situation and thought we were recovering.

What I didn't quite understand was that all my emotions would continue to "boil over" for the next few years. I started seeing way too many things as a threat, took everything personally, and reacted unpredictably to confrontations. Eventually I started suffering panic attacks and flashbacks. My therapist judged it as PTSD.

Although I'd seen the therapist periodically over the years (and regularly since the beginning of 2022), until this year it seemed like I couldn't get anywhere. We worked through various issues that allowed me to rationalize things in my head — but I didn't feel any different. I knew I shouldn't be feeling the anger and everything else (and knew I shouldn't take everything personally), but didn't understand how to stop.

About three months ago, I was able to take a sudden step forward. After a very stressful afternoon, I took a long nap ... and woke up feeling immensely calm and relaxed. Suddenly I was able to identify the threats, confrontations, sources of anxiety, etc. and knew how to take a step back from them. This has continued. I don't understand why it happened, except maybe it simply took a long time to "click". Alternately, when you pray for something long enough and fervently enough, God may sometimes say, "Okay, I guess he means it. Here you go."

It's not perfect. A lot of the anger, resentment, anxiety, etc. is still there; I've merely figured out how to separate myself from them. My biggest concern is backsliding, so I have to watch out and not take this for granted. And there are things I still haven't re-learned, like how to get real pleasure out of my accomplishments.

But it felt constructive enough that I could discontinue the therapy. For now. I didn't rush to stop it, either. I waited two more months (making sure this state of mind would stick) before making that decision.

Best of luck to you, @Silvercrest. Hope everything goes well.

 

[fireproof78]

No, nothing look forward to.

I feel this is somewhat appropriate from what I read today:
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day, saying 'I will try again tomorrow.'"
~Mary Anne Radmacher.

 

[JD]

I'm starting to get stressed out by my job situation. I decided not to call the stables I was going to try to work back, I talked to a guy there over the weekend, and he didn't think they were going to have any job openings. I don't know what I want to do, and I'm running out of money. I hate the thought of going back to retail, but almost everything around here that you don't need a degree or special training for is retail, or restaurants, and I'm definitely not doing a restaurant. I just wish there was some way I could get to the farm sanctuaries in town. I really have at least one day week to spend with the animals there volunteering, might enough to help me get through working at the grocery store I put an application in for, but my mom says there is no way she'd be willing to drive me to any of them, and they're to far to ride my bike. I though about taking an Uber/Lyft or a cab, but I'm afraid that would get too expensive if I kept using them every week.

 

[Bynar0110]

Disgusting pushing psychiatrists that keeps adding medications to the ones I take. Something that I have zero tolerance for and I will usually toss out any new meds they prescribe.

Strongly considering weaning myself off mental meds. Thinking about ditching therapist and psychiatrist.

 

[fireproof78]

Strongly considering weaning myself off mental meds. Thinking about ditching therapist and psychiatrist.

Do you at least have a primary care doctor to monitor? Some psych meds are not great when just ending them.

Or can you request a new therapist at least?

 

[Bynar0110]

No and I don't really care anymore.

 

[fireproof78]

No and I don't really care anymore.

That's concerning. I'm sorry that it's so hard.

 

[Commander Troi]

Disgusting pushing psychiatrists that keeps adding medications to the ones I take. Something that I have zero tolerance for and I will usually toss out any new meds they prescribe.

Strongly considering weaning myself off mental meds. Thinking about ditching therapist and psychiatrist.

Sometimes they aren't pushing drugs, but actually trying to help. I'm on several mental health meds and all of them together have made a difference.

 

[JD]

I have to confess, one of my biggest hesitations about looking into therapy for my anxiety is that I don't want to be put on meds. I was briefly when I was in high school, and my mom didn't like how I acted on them, and looking back, I don't either. I went from barely being able to talk to people, to jumping into the open back of a pickup with people I just met to go to a restaurant I'd never been to.

 

[Peach Wookiee]

I told my therapist I’m concerned about side effects. Not in my line of work.
Today, I feel euphoric. I’m working on the preschool’s auction and, with help, scored the venue! I’ve gone from feeling like I wanted to commit die to feeling like I am truly capable!