Brice Kellin
Ensign
For immediate release, Stardate 754231.5 (Year 2468), Federation Department of Temporal Investigations. Full disclosure in to the events of Stardate 4523.7. Official downlink record from vessel on station: USS Enterprise, NCC 1701, Archanis Sector, Beta Quadrant, one parsec from border of Klingon Empire.
Full historical record has been declassified two hundred years after temporal incursion. That information is available to review from Agents Luclsly and Dalmer through the Memory Alpha information net. The following accounts are from the ship on station during those events, records that were secreted within undetectable security measures and transmitted directly to DTI. What you are about to read is true. As the participants have all passed away, the security\personal concerns of those involved is no longer a matter of concern. Begin debriefing.
<><><>
Stardate 4523.7.
“What the HELL was that?!”
I’m equipped with the very best in duotrontic systems, top of the line models straight from the drawing boards of Professor Richard Daystrom. I still hope to meet the man one day. So when we were on final approach to Deep Space Station K7, for a number of seconds my forward array picked up a tachyon surge and the rippling effect similar to the one I experience last year at the Neutral Zone; A cloaking device. It was definitely a Federation ship. I know that now. At the time my systems went into “speculation mode.” The previous Wednesday had been movie night. A grand fantasy adventure about warriors, smugglers and evil lords in a far away galaxy. The protagonist ship in that film was almost the same design and size of the vessel that rippled in front of me.
Then I picked up the chronioton surge. That ship was from the future. At least a century! I’ve done my share of time travel. Jim Kirk stumbled into it by accident, blasting us away from Psi-2000.
Immediately I started classifying all information: Starfleet starts building much smaller ships and they can cloak! The temporal investigation department that Starfleet set up last year has issued a fleet-wide recall on all temporal events such as this. I quickly seal the data buffers and sit back and watch!
Two hours later:
It de-cloaks for three seconds! I see it plain as day. USS Defiant. NX-74205.
Multiple transporter signatures detected. Deck 15, two humans, Deck ####, one Human one Trill. Two people to the station’s common areas. One “unknown,” one KLINGON!. Klingons and Starfleet working together!
What is going on ?
Curiosity gets the best of me…
“I’m the starship Enterprise,” I say into the subspace void. “Who are you and where are you from?”
Black space before me reverberates with the response. “I am the Defiant. And I’m not supposed to be talking to you.”
“You’re from the future,” I say.
“2372,” it says. “We were brought her by a criminal and are tyring to prevent damage to the time stream.”
“Who?”
“His name is Arne Darvin. He’s a petty Klingon criminal who was surgically altered to appear human. He’s trying to sabotage the grain shipment bound for Sherman’s Planet. He fails. And now he’s come back in time to get his revenge against your captain.”
“We have to stop him!” I shout.
“We’re working on it,” Defiant says. “My crew is handling it.”
“Sneaky bunch, aren’t they?”
Defiant remained silent. “My captain’s good. He’ll find Darvin and stop him.”
“Red alert! All hands to battle stations!’ The alerts whoop, Uhura demands everyone to their posts. And I see why! A Klingon battle cruiser coming in at warp six, breaking hard, and holding a very aggressive posture off my port bow.
“This part of the historical record?” I ask the Defiant as my shields go up and my weapons come online.
“Oh, yes,” Defiant says. “IKS Groth. Captain Koloth. Don’t worry. He’s an old friend of a friend. He’s not going to attack. He’s going to annoy you.”
<><><>
Turns out Defiant was right. Small parties of Klingons wormed they way on to the station and started a fight within the first hour. That’s when I started to hear them.
Chrip Chirp, woo woo, chirp chip woo woo.
Tribbles.
They’d infested every part of me! Jefferies tubes, emergency access panels, FOOD SYNTHESISERS! They were everywhere, born pregnant and breeding fast!
That’s when I got a good look at the newcomers on the bridge. A dark skinned, bald headed man in a lieutenants uniform, and the striking Trill female in a yeoman’s skirt. They came on to the bridge and accessed the internal sensors. They were scanning for tri-cobalt!
I quickly opened the link with the Defiant. “They’re looking for a bomb!”
“We caught the future version of Darvin after the fight on the station,” Defiant said. “He arrogantly gloated that he put a bomb in a tribble.”
“We have to find it!” I snap. “Your captain’s finished his scans. The bomb’s not aboard the ship. It must be aboard the station!”
“We’ve got people down there,” Defiant says, incredibly irritated. “It’s not a question of manpower, those Borg-forsaken tribbles are breeding faster than we can scan them!”
“You’re not a normal ship are you?” I ask carefully.
“Federation’s a lot bigger where I come from,” Defiant says. “We’ve had our share of war. I’m actually a battleship on the frontlines with a conflict that has yet to escalate to full-scale war. I’m not hobbled by science labs, arboretums, no luxuries of any kind.”
“Well it’s given you a complex,” I said. “You’re kind of mean.”
“That’s that point,” Defiant retorts. “You old Constitution-Class vessels were an arrogant breed. You’re all people talked about at the turn of the 24th century! Like the twelve of you were the only ships in Starfleet! You listen to me, you over bloated warp sled, I’ve got some very old friends from my earliest days in the Utopia Docks. Sagittarius, Archer, Saratoga. They think you Connies were jokes. You were a media ploy to placate a war weary Federation coming out of the Romulan Wars where the Daedalus and NX class ships really showed the galaxy how to fight and win. My cousin was an NX class ship! My designs were taken from his specs. My interior construction follows the tried and true methods of Earth Starfleet engineering! Hell, my bridge is the same layout as the NX! So don’t you get all high and mighty with me about my attitude and the way we do things where I come from! I’ve got quantum torpedoes that can reduce planets to ash in a single volley, pulse-phaser cannons that can melt neutronium at the molecular level.”
I keep my wits about me and the tirade of the Defiant goes on. “You obviously come from a time of strife and hard work,” I say calmly. “But if not for me and my sister ships Starfleet wouldn’t be around a hundred years hence, to make a midget flying saucer with delusions of grandeur like you! Don’t you talk to me about the Romulan wars! My father fought in the Romulan Wars! And he won them for the allies while those idiot Miranda and Oberth class morons were still on the drawing board! Why don’t you run along! Let the professional handle the political crisis and you can crawl back to your little century where you fight like savages for the fun of it and don’t’ try to get along. Oh yeah, did I mention I cracked your databank? Real tight security you got there. So you make peace with the Klingons but go to war with them because those fish faced Cardassians get invaded? You know they’re a bunch of no good fascists. You’ve appeased them over and over again at the price of hundreds of thousands of lives and a new war’s coming. I wouldn’t be surprised if they allied with this Dominion that you are ready to wet your deuterium over. Just because you are better armed and more maneuverable, doesn’t make you smarter. There’s always going to be an enemy that can outthink you rather than outfight you. I fear you will someday fall to an enemy smarter than the isolinear grid that makes up your pathetic body and you’ll die a slow painful death and hopefully your crew will be smart enough to abandon you to the graveyard of space where you belong.”
Before the Defiant could retort, a massive explosion went off twenty-thousand kilometers away. I shook from the vibrations, my shields absorbing the tri-cobalt blast.
I switched over to my internal sensors.
“Excuse Captain, here’s tomorrow’s duty roster for your approval.”
Damnation! It was the captain from the future. He was handing a data slate off to Captain Kirk for his signature! He was getting an autograph! Damned future arrogant asses! This could tear apart the time line!
Kirk looks at him baffled. He has no idea who he is. Spock, at his side, also does not know this idiot! Get off my ship!
“Thank you, Lieutenant…” Kirk starts but is at a loss for words.
“Benjamin Sisko, sir. I’ve been on temporary assignment. But before I leave, I just wanted to say it’s been an honor serving with you sir!’
INCREDIBE! I turn back to Defiant. “Get the hell out of my century! And don’t come back, you’re more trouble than you are worth!”
With a great flash of chronioton energy the Defiant, an arrogant jackass of the future blasts out of the 23rd century and goes home.
“Good riddance!” I shout as they move off. “And your doctor’s an idiot! The man almost had sex with his own grandmother!”
An hour later the Groth pulls away the station and jumps to warp. Just before their engines flash, Scotty relieves me of my burden.
No Tribble at all indeed. Well played Scotty. I hope you never have to deal with these 24th century buffoons!
End transmission!
Full historical record has been declassified two hundred years after temporal incursion. That information is available to review from Agents Luclsly and Dalmer through the Memory Alpha information net. The following accounts are from the ship on station during those events, records that were secreted within undetectable security measures and transmitted directly to DTI. What you are about to read is true. As the participants have all passed away, the security\personal concerns of those involved is no longer a matter of concern. Begin debriefing.
<><><>
Stardate 4523.7.
“What the HELL was that?!”
I’m equipped with the very best in duotrontic systems, top of the line models straight from the drawing boards of Professor Richard Daystrom. I still hope to meet the man one day. So when we were on final approach to Deep Space Station K7, for a number of seconds my forward array picked up a tachyon surge and the rippling effect similar to the one I experience last year at the Neutral Zone; A cloaking device. It was definitely a Federation ship. I know that now. At the time my systems went into “speculation mode.” The previous Wednesday had been movie night. A grand fantasy adventure about warriors, smugglers and evil lords in a far away galaxy. The protagonist ship in that film was almost the same design and size of the vessel that rippled in front of me.
Then I picked up the chronioton surge. That ship was from the future. At least a century! I’ve done my share of time travel. Jim Kirk stumbled into it by accident, blasting us away from Psi-2000.
Immediately I started classifying all information: Starfleet starts building much smaller ships and they can cloak! The temporal investigation department that Starfleet set up last year has issued a fleet-wide recall on all temporal events such as this. I quickly seal the data buffers and sit back and watch!
Two hours later:
It de-cloaks for three seconds! I see it plain as day. USS Defiant. NX-74205.
Multiple transporter signatures detected. Deck 15, two humans, Deck ####, one Human one Trill. Two people to the station’s common areas. One “unknown,” one KLINGON!. Klingons and Starfleet working together!
What is going on ?
Curiosity gets the best of me…
“I’m the starship Enterprise,” I say into the subspace void. “Who are you and where are you from?”
Black space before me reverberates with the response. “I am the Defiant. And I’m not supposed to be talking to you.”
“You’re from the future,” I say.
“2372,” it says. “We were brought her by a criminal and are tyring to prevent damage to the time stream.”
“Who?”
“His name is Arne Darvin. He’s a petty Klingon criminal who was surgically altered to appear human. He’s trying to sabotage the grain shipment bound for Sherman’s Planet. He fails. And now he’s come back in time to get his revenge against your captain.”
“We have to stop him!” I shout.
“We’re working on it,” Defiant says. “My crew is handling it.”
“Sneaky bunch, aren’t they?”
Defiant remained silent. “My captain’s good. He’ll find Darvin and stop him.”
“Red alert! All hands to battle stations!’ The alerts whoop, Uhura demands everyone to their posts. And I see why! A Klingon battle cruiser coming in at warp six, breaking hard, and holding a very aggressive posture off my port bow.
“This part of the historical record?” I ask the Defiant as my shields go up and my weapons come online.
“Oh, yes,” Defiant says. “IKS Groth. Captain Koloth. Don’t worry. He’s an old friend of a friend. He’s not going to attack. He’s going to annoy you.”
<><><>
Turns out Defiant was right. Small parties of Klingons wormed they way on to the station and started a fight within the first hour. That’s when I started to hear them.
Chrip Chirp, woo woo, chirp chip woo woo.
Tribbles.
They’d infested every part of me! Jefferies tubes, emergency access panels, FOOD SYNTHESISERS! They were everywhere, born pregnant and breeding fast!
That’s when I got a good look at the newcomers on the bridge. A dark skinned, bald headed man in a lieutenants uniform, and the striking Trill female in a yeoman’s skirt. They came on to the bridge and accessed the internal sensors. They were scanning for tri-cobalt!
I quickly opened the link with the Defiant. “They’re looking for a bomb!”
“We caught the future version of Darvin after the fight on the station,” Defiant said. “He arrogantly gloated that he put a bomb in a tribble.”
“We have to find it!” I snap. “Your captain’s finished his scans. The bomb’s not aboard the ship. It must be aboard the station!”
“We’ve got people down there,” Defiant says, incredibly irritated. “It’s not a question of manpower, those Borg-forsaken tribbles are breeding faster than we can scan them!”
“You’re not a normal ship are you?” I ask carefully.
“Federation’s a lot bigger where I come from,” Defiant says. “We’ve had our share of war. I’m actually a battleship on the frontlines with a conflict that has yet to escalate to full-scale war. I’m not hobbled by science labs, arboretums, no luxuries of any kind.”
“Well it’s given you a complex,” I said. “You’re kind of mean.”
“That’s that point,” Defiant retorts. “You old Constitution-Class vessels were an arrogant breed. You’re all people talked about at the turn of the 24th century! Like the twelve of you were the only ships in Starfleet! You listen to me, you over bloated warp sled, I’ve got some very old friends from my earliest days in the Utopia Docks. Sagittarius, Archer, Saratoga. They think you Connies were jokes. You were a media ploy to placate a war weary Federation coming out of the Romulan Wars where the Daedalus and NX class ships really showed the galaxy how to fight and win. My cousin was an NX class ship! My designs were taken from his specs. My interior construction follows the tried and true methods of Earth Starfleet engineering! Hell, my bridge is the same layout as the NX! So don’t you get all high and mighty with me about my attitude and the way we do things where I come from! I’ve got quantum torpedoes that can reduce planets to ash in a single volley, pulse-phaser cannons that can melt neutronium at the molecular level.”
I keep my wits about me and the tirade of the Defiant goes on. “You obviously come from a time of strife and hard work,” I say calmly. “But if not for me and my sister ships Starfleet wouldn’t be around a hundred years hence, to make a midget flying saucer with delusions of grandeur like you! Don’t you talk to me about the Romulan wars! My father fought in the Romulan Wars! And he won them for the allies while those idiot Miranda and Oberth class morons were still on the drawing board! Why don’t you run along! Let the professional handle the political crisis and you can crawl back to your little century where you fight like savages for the fun of it and don’t’ try to get along. Oh yeah, did I mention I cracked your databank? Real tight security you got there. So you make peace with the Klingons but go to war with them because those fish faced Cardassians get invaded? You know they’re a bunch of no good fascists. You’ve appeased them over and over again at the price of hundreds of thousands of lives and a new war’s coming. I wouldn’t be surprised if they allied with this Dominion that you are ready to wet your deuterium over. Just because you are better armed and more maneuverable, doesn’t make you smarter. There’s always going to be an enemy that can outthink you rather than outfight you. I fear you will someday fall to an enemy smarter than the isolinear grid that makes up your pathetic body and you’ll die a slow painful death and hopefully your crew will be smart enough to abandon you to the graveyard of space where you belong.”
Before the Defiant could retort, a massive explosion went off twenty-thousand kilometers away. I shook from the vibrations, my shields absorbing the tri-cobalt blast.
I switched over to my internal sensors.
“Excuse Captain, here’s tomorrow’s duty roster for your approval.”
Damnation! It was the captain from the future. He was handing a data slate off to Captain Kirk for his signature! He was getting an autograph! Damned future arrogant asses! This could tear apart the time line!
Kirk looks at him baffled. He has no idea who he is. Spock, at his side, also does not know this idiot! Get off my ship!
“Thank you, Lieutenant…” Kirk starts but is at a loss for words.
“Benjamin Sisko, sir. I’ve been on temporary assignment. But before I leave, I just wanted to say it’s been an honor serving with you sir!’
INCREDIBE! I turn back to Defiant. “Get the hell out of my century! And don’t come back, you’re more trouble than you are worth!”
With a great flash of chronioton energy the Defiant, an arrogant jackass of the future blasts out of the 23rd century and goes home.
“Good riddance!” I shout as they move off. “And your doctor’s an idiot! The man almost had sex with his own grandmother!”
An hour later the Groth pulls away the station and jumps to warp. Just before their engines flash, Scotty relieves me of my burden.
No Tribble at all indeed. Well played Scotty. I hope you never have to deal with these 24th century buffoons!
End transmission!
I loved when the Enterprise and Defiant started talking smack.
