RobertScorpio
Pariah
I have lived among humans for a very long time. In fact, I was there on Earth when they began their rise to power in the Federation. Sometimes I find it amazing how something like me could be there for many of the Federation’s greatest moments.
STAR TREK
The Fly on the Wall
episode one "From The Dung Heep"
My name is Wazzo. I am, for lack of better words, a fly. I came into existence in the most usual way for a fly. I ate my way out of a pile of dung, or crap as some call it, one foggy day on Earth. Little did I know at the time, but I was immortal. Somehow I was lucky to be born near one of those old style Nuclear Plants that humans experimented with in the old days.
The one I was born near was located in beautiful San Diego California. I became a surfer fly. I would spend my mornings buzzing around the beach. Humans loved to leave their trash around the beach as if it was going out of style. The trash cans were full of all kinds of treats. Instead of having to scrap for food from piles feces, I preferred cow feces by the way, I was able to find the nearest trashcan and pig out.
There was meat from chicken bones. Then, if I were lucky, there might be doughnuts or pizza or all kinds of good food. I lived one happy life. I was a fat fricking fly, and soon I was out living all of my peers. I remember coming to the age of ascension with nearly five thousand other flies. And, over time, the others started dieing off. Even my good friend Nemmy passed away. He was my best bud. We met at the petting zoo.
There used to be a petting zoo near the old beach. Human children would come there to ride the horses or cows. Nemmy, and I, met while hanging outside the ass of a cow. Cows had these large tales that provided shade. Back in those days I was lazy, so was Nemmy. So we would just hang out under this cow’s tail, right by its ass, and wait for the logs to tumble out of its butt. Usually these logs were in shape of large blobs. We would rate the sound they made as they crushed to the ground below. Nemmy would rate them usually pretty high. I think I only handed out one "10" the whole time.
Then the two of us would race down to the freshly laid poo. Lucky for us the cow loved to eat corn. If we were lucky we could pluck out two or three un-digested cord seedlings. They would be soft enough to squeeze out a couple bits of corn starch from.
It’s from eating the corn I realized that I wanted better food on a more regular basis. Nemmy had an idea. We should head to the beach. The both of us had been born inland by about two miles from the beach. We knew that all we had to do was follow the sun. So we set out one day to follow the sun. We got pretty strong on the way, and very tanned. Back in those days the people wore last sun lotion because the ozone layer still worked. With less lotion came more sweat. Human sweat was a great thirst quincher.
Then, it happened! While flying toward the beach, poor Nemmy was splattered into pieces. He wasn’t watching where he was going and he crossed the path of a car. It was all over in seconds. I sucked up some of his guts, hey that's what friends are for, and continued on. BURP!
I eventually found my way to the beach and started my easy life of eating discarded food at the beach. I made my way north in the process. Two hundred years later I made it to San Francisco. While I was eating and eating my way, I realized, hey, I wasn’t dieing. I had lived longer than any fly in Fly History. I met up with a very wise hornet who told me I was probably affected by the nuclear radiation and would live forever.
Time went by. I hung around the San Francisco bay area for awhile. I even took up with an older and much wiser male fly named Wanko. Why? Have you ever heard the saying, “when in Rome?”
Then Starfleet Command Academy was built. After my domestic partner Wanko died I decided to fly over and see what all the fuss was. These humans were so well kept. There was never any litter. Some old fart named Boothby kept cleaning the place up. Even when the humans would try to litter, a kid named Benny Sisko was real good at leaving his freshly chewed gum under the table, Boothby would be there cleaning it up. This Boothby guy was a real grade A+ anus-hole.
Well, to make a long story short? I spent time on many worlds. Thanks to the advent of human space travel, I spent my fair share of time in space. I have been to Vulcan, Bajor and Rigel 7, just to name a few. I have been the ‘fly on the wall’ during the planning stages of the war with the Dominion, the retaking of Betazed, and I was even in the room when this rock creature named Morn made his first bile movement in nearly ten thousand years. What feast that was!!!
Now I live on Risa. This is the world where humans come for fun, flies too. I met up with a floozy I met in a nearby trash barge, and we are getting along pretty well. I may or may not marry her, I haven’t decided. I am afraid if I do, and I fall in love, I will be hurt when she passes on. It sucks being an immortal. Wait a minute! I must stop this useless chatter. A new fly is calling to me. I will have to buzz over and see who it is.
--
Wazzo flew over to the new fly. The new fly was very different, and appeared to be immortal as well. They two struck up a conversation, and it was love at first sight. Finally, at last, Wazzo had found someone to share infinity with. They new fly’s name was Q. Apparently he had been exiled or something like that. Who cared how they met? One thing was sure. Wazzo and Q would live happily ever after; all the dung be damned!!!
WAZZO WILL RETURN..HECK, HE MIGHT BE ON THE ABOVE YOU RIGHT NOW!!!
STAR TREK
The Fly on the Wall
episode one "From The Dung Heep"
My name is Wazzo. I am, for lack of better words, a fly. I came into existence in the most usual way for a fly. I ate my way out of a pile of dung, or crap as some call it, one foggy day on Earth. Little did I know at the time, but I was immortal. Somehow I was lucky to be born near one of those old style Nuclear Plants that humans experimented with in the old days.
The one I was born near was located in beautiful San Diego California. I became a surfer fly. I would spend my mornings buzzing around the beach. Humans loved to leave their trash around the beach as if it was going out of style. The trash cans were full of all kinds of treats. Instead of having to scrap for food from piles feces, I preferred cow feces by the way, I was able to find the nearest trashcan and pig out.
There was meat from chicken bones. Then, if I were lucky, there might be doughnuts or pizza or all kinds of good food. I lived one happy life. I was a fat fricking fly, and soon I was out living all of my peers. I remember coming to the age of ascension with nearly five thousand other flies. And, over time, the others started dieing off. Even my good friend Nemmy passed away. He was my best bud. We met at the petting zoo.
There used to be a petting zoo near the old beach. Human children would come there to ride the horses or cows. Nemmy, and I, met while hanging outside the ass of a cow. Cows had these large tales that provided shade. Back in those days I was lazy, so was Nemmy. So we would just hang out under this cow’s tail, right by its ass, and wait for the logs to tumble out of its butt. Usually these logs were in shape of large blobs. We would rate the sound they made as they crushed to the ground below. Nemmy would rate them usually pretty high. I think I only handed out one "10" the whole time.
Then the two of us would race down to the freshly laid poo. Lucky for us the cow loved to eat corn. If we were lucky we could pluck out two or three un-digested cord seedlings. They would be soft enough to squeeze out a couple bits of corn starch from.
It’s from eating the corn I realized that I wanted better food on a more regular basis. Nemmy had an idea. We should head to the beach. The both of us had been born inland by about two miles from the beach. We knew that all we had to do was follow the sun. So we set out one day to follow the sun. We got pretty strong on the way, and very tanned. Back in those days the people wore last sun lotion because the ozone layer still worked. With less lotion came more sweat. Human sweat was a great thirst quincher.
Then, it happened! While flying toward the beach, poor Nemmy was splattered into pieces. He wasn’t watching where he was going and he crossed the path of a car. It was all over in seconds. I sucked up some of his guts, hey that's what friends are for, and continued on. BURP!
I eventually found my way to the beach and started my easy life of eating discarded food at the beach. I made my way north in the process. Two hundred years later I made it to San Francisco. While I was eating and eating my way, I realized, hey, I wasn’t dieing. I had lived longer than any fly in Fly History. I met up with a very wise hornet who told me I was probably affected by the nuclear radiation and would live forever.
Time went by. I hung around the San Francisco bay area for awhile. I even took up with an older and much wiser male fly named Wanko. Why? Have you ever heard the saying, “when in Rome?”
Then Starfleet Command Academy was built. After my domestic partner Wanko died I decided to fly over and see what all the fuss was. These humans were so well kept. There was never any litter. Some old fart named Boothby kept cleaning the place up. Even when the humans would try to litter, a kid named Benny Sisko was real good at leaving his freshly chewed gum under the table, Boothby would be there cleaning it up. This Boothby guy was a real grade A+ anus-hole.
Well, to make a long story short? I spent time on many worlds. Thanks to the advent of human space travel, I spent my fair share of time in space. I have been to Vulcan, Bajor and Rigel 7, just to name a few. I have been the ‘fly on the wall’ during the planning stages of the war with the Dominion, the retaking of Betazed, and I was even in the room when this rock creature named Morn made his first bile movement in nearly ten thousand years. What feast that was!!!
Now I live on Risa. This is the world where humans come for fun, flies too. I met up with a floozy I met in a nearby trash barge, and we are getting along pretty well. I may or may not marry her, I haven’t decided. I am afraid if I do, and I fall in love, I will be hurt when she passes on. It sucks being an immortal. Wait a minute! I must stop this useless chatter. A new fly is calling to me. I will have to buzz over and see who it is.
--
Wazzo flew over to the new fly. The new fly was very different, and appeared to be immortal as well. They two struck up a conversation, and it was love at first sight. Finally, at last, Wazzo had found someone to share infinity with. They new fly’s name was Q. Apparently he had been exiled or something like that. Who cared how they met? One thing was sure. Wazzo and Q would live happily ever after; all the dung be damned!!!
WAZZO WILL RETURN..HECK, HE MIGHT BE ON THE ABOVE YOU RIGHT NOW!!!
