Making Up A Joke

[All Seeing Eye]

No, they'll keep a closer eye on you and let you get away with less.

Every forum I step into I already have laser sights pointing at my chest.

 

[Jenee]

I love one-liners. The best are the ones that are made up spur-of-the-moment and fit specifically with the situation.

 

[All Seeing Eye]

I love one-liners. The best are the ones that are made up spur-of-the-moment and fit specifically with the situation.

yeah I snorted one this morning.

Ba bom bom, cha!

 

[Locutus of Bored]

No, they'll keep a closer eye on you and let you get away with less.

Every forum I step into I already have laser sights pointing at my chest.

Your indomitable spirit in the face of overwhelming persecution truly is an inspiration to us all. It's almost Christlike.

 

[Danoz]

And I said: "Rectum? Damn near killed him!"

Thank you for this!

I thought, "I'm sure wherever my dad is; he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending" was pretty clever.

Most of them were sort of clever, but I'd need to hear these in a stand-up form of delivery after a few cocktails before I'm laughing out loud.

 

[Mistral]

I found most of them amusing-and I can picture the delivery. 7 and 9 would probably do well, as well as the Dad joke. Depends on the comic. As for posting a joke-wouldn't that make me either a jokester or a poster? I could handle the one, but I have no interest in being thumbtacked to the wall.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

I found the top 10 very funny-clever, if you know what I mean. Ultimately, I always feel true comedy is all down to.......

All those complaining they aren't funny aren't using their imagination.

Imagine you're sat in a theatre with a comedian on the stage, everyone's been having a laugh and having a good time, imagine any comedian you want on stage and imagine they've just told a joke and it was funny and now imagine they've just come out with those jokes in the OP. You've also got to imagine the correct way they would have delivered it, just reading it to yourself without utilising your imagination correctly wont make them funny.

So in other words, the lines themselves aren't intrinsically funny. It's all to do with environment, personal circumstances (alcohol consumed, fun had so far) and how the comedian performs; how others react to the comedian (including their preconceptions of the comedian's repertoire and notoriety), to his performance on the night, and to the comedy value of his material (which in a way influences and sometimes prompts you to spontaneously react - call it "Canned Laughter" syndrome); as well as the input from individual audience member's own personal tastes, past experiences, and ideas about "what is funny", that make it funny.

That's exactly how "The Fast Show" works, I feel. A lot of components that by themselves aren't that great, but when combined together, and consumed in the right context and mindset, makes for an entertaining half hour.

I love one-liners. The best are the ones that are made up spur-of-the-moment and fit specifically with the situation.

yeah I snorted one this morning.

Yeah, I once tried to snort a line of coke too. Tasted like Pepsi. Bastard dealer.


...You see? I'm no good at this sort of thing. I couldn't make up a joke if it had careful instructions, a set of tools and an Allen key, and a step-by-step video hosted by Peter Purves.

I wouldn't know a joke if it came up to my front door and knocked on it twice. (I'd still have to ask who was there.)

I certainly wouldn't know a joke if it turned up into my local pub disguised as an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman.

I definitely wouldn't know a joke if I saw it on the other side of the road and it crossed over towards me while making clucking noises. I'd look at the poor creature and ask myself, "Why?"

























.............. timing.

 

[Jadzia]

I smiled at about half of them, but the other half weren't funny at all. Number 1 was the best for me...

You can make up other hog jokes... like warthogs - who can keep the warts for themselves.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

• 2) Paddy Lennox - "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'."

I once pondered the phrase "How Long Is A Piece Of String?" when someone gently reminded me that "Mr. Long prefers to be called Howard."

[Then of course, someone questioned Long on his status as a piece of string, to which he replied "Sorry, I'm a frayed knot." - someone]

 

[RJDiogenes]

I asked him if he won the race, but he said he just tied.