I have winter coats and sweaters that are dry-clean only, and window drapes that are dry-clean only. I've hand washed all of them in the wettest water I could find and they're all fine.
Same here. I do a lot of hand washing as I'm a knitter, and I'd much rather take the time to wash items myself than trust them to anyone else (especially my husband, who's a master at shrinking my size 16 hand knits to a size that wouldn't fit the cats). The only item in the house I can think of that truly needs dry cleaning is my husband's suit, which he wears to weddings and funerals. In the past few years we've been to one wedding and one funeral, so the suit is yet to be dry cleaned.
Personally I'd never take shirts in to be dry cleaned. Ironing is compatible with so many other activities (telly, radio, audio books, chatting with my husband/kids) that I can't justify spending money on something I can do myself. I'm fussy about my laundry, so I iron a lot, though it's not something I really enjoy. I'm just anal and can't stand wrinkled or creased clothing.