As I think about this further I do have problems with Kirks behavior too. He wanted to save Nero, Spock didn't and Kirk gives into him rather quickly.
I think that's a very valid point in terms of the difference between STXI and TOS. While
Greg Cox correctly highlights examples of Spock's and Vulcan "ruthlessness", or as they might put it, "rigorous logic". In TOS Kirk seemed to act as a balancing factor between Spock's logic/reason on the one side and McCoy's emotions on the other in such situations. He would then arrive at a decision that is usually both humanely reasonable and justified. To put the best possible interpretation on your observation, so far I don't think nuKirk has found his feet in that regard. I can only hope that he will. But we live in different times.
I think it would have been better had Nero died when the Jellyfish rammed the Narada.
Yes, however I guess they wanted a final confrontation. Tricky business that.
Off topic but did you have a problem when Picard didn't have Riker beam both himself and Ru'afo off the exploding particle collector? I did.
I have to admit that emotionally I don't recall being so "outraged". That might be just my failing memory of course but certainly intellectually I do agree with you. Whether right or wrong, I guess sins of omission usually get an easier ride. Glad to see that isn't so in your case.
To be honest, it often seems like people who have issues with the new movie have selective memories (and rose-colored glasses) when it comes to what TOS was really about. Or maybe they grew upon TNG instead . . . which was much more heavily invested in the idea that Trek was supposed to be some sort of visonary blueprint for the future. As opposed to TOS which was more of a rough-and-tumble space opera filled with flawed, volatile characters who weren't always paragons of Starfleet virtue.
Just like in the new movie.
As mentioned above I think a case can be made for TOS having a different "feel" to it due largely to the change in Kirk's behaviour and interation with other crew members re the Nero decision in particular (Oh why wasn't McCoy on the bridge when they needed him! What the hell was so important in sick bay?). STXI and TOS may have shared the same "rough-and-tumble space opera" attitude but so far I think the above mentioned ingredient is missing from the former.
While I accept it might be easy to overlook some aspects of Vulcan nature, I don't think my glasses are rose coloured. I think there really is a distinction as outlined above which I hope will change.
As far as I am aware the only ones suggesting it are fans of STXI trying to find an excuse for something they know Prime Kirk would not have done.
Well as far as I know I'm not really a fan of the film, at all, and I agree with the actions Kirk took. Whether he did the right thing for the wrong reasons or not... it was still the right thing to do.
OK, I should probably retract that comment completely rather than on a case by case basis.

Consider it done.
However I am not so concerned with the result as the way it is portrayed. There is the cheap obviously token offer followed by an attempt at summary exsocution. If they couldn't just beam Nero and co off anyway, why not? Killing people is an important issue, you don't just use it as a cheap form of gratification. Well, you didn't used to in TOS that I recall. Yes, I know, apart from red shirts.
You have to remember that the Kirk that gave the order to open fire on Nero is Jim Kirk seven years before we're introduced to him in the Prime timeline. Plus you have to remember that he is staring down an individual that was responsible for the death of his father and responsible for the deaths of six billion plus other beings, I was surprised he even made the token offer. Prime universe Jim Kirk was never faced with such a scenario, so saying that his reaction would be different is just speculation on your part.
Actually I agree that this Kirk isn’t even Prime Kirk seven or so years younger than we first saw him. But even if its understandable in some way, the issue is just ignored, as are others in the film.
I’m not sure emotional feeling is cumulative like that. I feel the loss of Prime Kirk’s son is likely to be as big an impact emotionally as NuKirk felt in "total", particularly as NuKirk never knew his father. Yes I accept he was younger and different, but Star Fleet command etc is there to at least make some comment on it, if it had to be done. Better though to just rewrite the movie a bit if you don’t want to handle the fallout, in my view. However I have previously agreeded my opinion of Prime Kirk’s "likely" reaction is speculation, albeit pretty a reasonable one I think.
I can't imagine Prime Kirk would have reacted much differently under the circumstances.
Apart from the history of the character I guess.
He offered Khan a chance to surrender, too . . . .
But he didn’t then put the boot in.
Huh? I wasn't talking about Kruge or The Search for Spock. I was talking about that bit in "Friday's Child" where Kirk, who has his back against the wall and expects to be killed soon, expresses a desire to take "the Klingon" with him--for revenge, if nothing else. (As I recall, the ship was in no danger at that point. It was just Kirk, Spock, and McCoy being hunted by noble warriors wearing Day-Glo fur boas.)
Oops, we are on the same page. Its just all Klingons look alike to me! My argument however, still stands. Kirk may have wanted to extract revenge
in battle, particularly if he was going to die, but not I suggest, if the Klingon (by whatever name) was
at his mercy.
And the idea is not to "drag Prime Kirk down to NuKirk's level" (the very phrasing of which seems to imply that the Original Recipe is, by definition, superior to the modern version) but to point out, once again, the double standard (and selective amnesia) that often seems to plague these debates--in which NuTrek is not compared to original series and characters as they actually were, but to some idealized version that conveniently forgets how flawed, imperfect and oh-so-human Kirk and Spock and the others have always been (thank god!).
Or, as Carol Marcus put it much more succinctly: Jim Kirk was never a Boy Scout.
I would disagree that there is much significant "selective amnesia" and any that does exist is mostly just a reflection of the general attitude of the show. You see I think, as explained above, there is a real difference, even allowing for imperfections. Perhaps there are flaws of the type I am specifying, but I can’t recall them and they don’t seem to pervade the show.