In honor of the forthcoming Star Trek XI, I was inspired to start this hopefully soon to be internet-phenomenon.
CAPTAIN KIRK JOKES
If an armed vessel is placed within sensor range of Captain Kirk, it is considered an act of war.
Captain Kirk does not exterminate all alien species, only those whose females he cannot procreate with.
The Federation no longer uses money - the Enterprise's repair bills under Captain Kirk's command forced them to invent a new system of finance.
The Federation and Romulan Empire were once at war when Captain Kirk was in command of a ship, no one would see a Romulan vessel again for the next 110 years.
Klingons were forced to evolve stronger forehead ridges, too many were dying as a result of being punched in the head by Captain Kirk.
Cloaking Technology was invented in direct response to Captain Kirk.
When Kirk was promoted to Captain, StoVoKor had to close for expansion to accommodate the higher volume of dead Klingons.
When Captain Kirk goes on a landing party, he will inevitably become King of the planet's civilization, no planet is large enough for two Kings.
The Borg waited until The Next Generation to attack the Federation, they knew their chances of assimilating Captain Kirk.
Captain Kirk can make anything happen by talking about it slow enough.
Captain Kirk has never been to Sickbay.
When his shirt is torn, Captain Kirk gains super-human powers.
CAPTAIN KIRK JOKES
If an armed vessel is placed within sensor range of Captain Kirk, it is considered an act of war.
Captain Kirk does not exterminate all alien species, only those whose females he cannot procreate with.
The Federation no longer uses money - the Enterprise's repair bills under Captain Kirk's command forced them to invent a new system of finance.
The Federation and Romulan Empire were once at war when Captain Kirk was in command of a ship, no one would see a Romulan vessel again for the next 110 years.
Klingons were forced to evolve stronger forehead ridges, too many were dying as a result of being punched in the head by Captain Kirk.
Cloaking Technology was invented in direct response to Captain Kirk.
When Kirk was promoted to Captain, StoVoKor had to close for expansion to accommodate the higher volume of dead Klingons.
When Captain Kirk goes on a landing party, he will inevitably become King of the planet's civilization, no planet is large enough for two Kings.
The Borg waited until The Next Generation to attack the Federation, they knew their chances of assimilating Captain Kirk.
Captain Kirk can make anything happen by talking about it slow enough.
Captain Kirk has never been to Sickbay.
When his shirt is torn, Captain Kirk gains super-human powers.
