Obviously a ship stranded upside down does not work in space but here is a playful spin or should that be stretch. Meant to be very tongue in cheek.
****
“My God Spock.”
“Yes Captain?” he arched his brow questioningly at Kirk.
“You ... have ... got ... to ... do ... something ... about ... the gravity ... compensators!”
Spock watched with suppressed amusement as Kirk flailed about on the ceiling of the bridge.
Apparently a junk mail message had carried a virus that had infiltrated ship’s systems. Systems to be hit included the gravity compensators generators, the Inertial Dampening Field IDF and Attitude Control. As part of the Navigational systems the IDF distributes itself according to data from Flight Control – variable-symmetry force fields which absorb and counteract the forces generated by Starship travel. Usually a millisecond delay. Tied to the flight control systems the Attitude Controls also helps to maintain the ship in an ‘upright’ position, with its axes properly orientated along the projected flight path. Without it a ship will wobble, shake, yaw and become difficult to steer properly.
For the crew of the Enterprise no such straightforward problems. Instead, they found themselves able to walk about with the greatest of ease on the ceilings of the ship. Nevertheless it was rather disconcerting and made many of the illogical humans feel queasy.
Chekov at his station, or rather standing feebly above it, groaned. “Uh! I vink I dwunk too much wod-ka!”
Sulu laughed at his misery. “Ha! You’re just sickened I beat you in the karaoke competition. Remember Chekov, turn that frown upside down!”
Chekov shot him a murderous look.
A flurry of cursing announced the irascible Mc Coy. “What in the blue blazes! I’m a doctor not a God damned fruit bat!”
“Spock you might have the pointy ears of a bat, but surely even you can’t put up with nonsense?”
“I am ... adjusting ... doctor.”
“Well hows about adjusting it back to the way it ought to be!”
“Bones I’m sure Scotty has all in hand. Uhura is due back any moment. She went to check on the status of repairs.
At that the beautiful Uhura stumbled in through the turbolift. She was pale and in shock.
“Are you ok Uhura?”
“I’m fine thank you Captain. It’s just ... it’s just ... it’s too horrible to describe.”
“Vat is?”
Sulu retorted, “Your breath Chekov! Ha!”
“No I can’t bring myself to say it. Suffice to say that of all the days he could have chosen to wear it he wore it today!”
Mc Coy grumbled, “Who? What?”
“Scotty. He’s wearing his kilt! And he is definitely a scots man!”
This is the best piece of fan fic I've read in a long time.
Drats! and oops!
