Job application time...

[Captain Shaw]

Have not been in Miscs for a while, are you still at the golf club? I remember you saying you had trouble with the boss.

 

[captcalhoun]

i had a question like that on the application i did last week 'how do you think your friends would describe you?'

shit, i dunno. a sad bastard Trekkie geek who likes comic books, Transformers and collects GI Joe toys even though he's 33 plays too much Modern Warfare 2 and how the fuck he ever got laid is anyone's guess.

 

[Sephiroth]

honorable warrior, decapitator, (something in Klingon)

 

[FPAlpha]

These questions are so dumb and disingenious it's not even funny.. people will not be fully honest because most of the time they want the job badly and will not risk admitting that, like every person, are sometimes fed up with the job, would rather be rich and stay home and are in it for the money while HR inwardly cringe at yet another "hard worker, teamplayer, my only fault is being too precise" etc because they've heard it thousands of times.

Job hunting is a pain in the ass and interviews would be much easier and agreeable if both sides would just be honest and admit their true faults and what they're really looking for but since psychologists and HR experts have fashioned this system it gets applied everywhere.

 

[PurpleLady]

I think when those types of questions are asked the employer is definitely not looking for a creative type. Seems like they should be worried about whether you are honest, reliable and able to keep the orders straight, not whether you can write the next award selling novel. I can almost hear you grinding your teeth through my monitor!

 

[propita]

I'm now onto "Tell us something that you are passionate about, and are proud to be associated with"

The devil on my shoulder is telling me TBBS!

We love you too!

Oh wait! You were joking? Then hell with you.

Not really. Good luck and hope you get a job that's interesting and with good people.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Two weeks later...

Oooops! Must try harder! Not even a letter saying 'you're clearly mad, go away'. Right where's that application form for a philosopher...

And PurpleLady I think you're correct, I should just have put 'yes sir' 'No sir' 'absolutely no free thinking here'

Soul is dealt a blow

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Sorry to DP but I wanted to reply to those that made the effort to comment.

So, what beautiful work of fiction did you concoct eventually?

Obviously one not worthy enough.

Throw 'workaholic' in there too.

That gets 'em every time...................

It is not within me to lie so outrageously. And I would be found out within the first 2 weeks

Have not been in Miscs for a while, are you still at the golf club? I remember you saying you had trouble with the boss.

Hey STK Yes still at the club. Boss has now discovered the laminating machine and has 'memos' arranged everywhere. We are also contacted on home email, facebook, text messages and she even rang the hospital I was in to check when I was discharged.

Important points include what kind of cakes should be made ~ cookies should either be white chocolate or cocoa (we went mad one Saturday and made half and half ones, the kids adored them but apparently it was frowned upon from the management ~ far to exciting.

And the maraca I put on the bar next to a photo of me brandishing it saying 'the only thing you need to shake to attract attention around here is me' was taken away and replaced by a press bell with a sign saying 'just press bell once and a member of staff will be with you' Apparently my Maraca was too frivolous. The customers loved it.

I just hang my soul on the hook with my coat as I go in now.

i had a question like that on the application i did last week 'how do you think your friends would describe you?'

shit, i dunno. a sad bastard Trekkie geek who likes comic books, Transformers and collects GI Joe toys even though he's 33 plays too much Modern Warfare 2 and how the fuck he ever got laid is anyone's guess.

and honesty is suppose to be the best policy!

honorable warrior, decapitator, (something in Klingon)

Well they think I'm eccentric enough already so why the hell not next time!

These questions are so dumb and disingenious it's not even funny.. people will not be fully honest because most of the time they want the job badly and will not risk admitting that, like every person, are sometimes fed up with the job, would rather be rich and stay home and are in it for the money while HR inwardly cringe at yet another "hard worker, teamplayer, my only fault is being too precise" etc because they've heard it thousands of times.

Job hunting is a pain in the ass and interviews would be much easier and agreeable if both sides would just be honest and admit their true faults and what they're really looking for but since psychologists and HR experts have fashioned this system it gets applied everywhere.

This is what confuses me with this latest application. I went to the pub, handed my cv to the manager and had a quick 15 min chat. I thought we got on well. I much prefer a face to face chance than the bs that you end up writing on app forms. But obviously not meant to be

I'm now onto "Tell us something that you are passionate about, and are proud to be associated with"

The devil on my shoulder is telling me TBBS!

We love you too!

Oh wait! You were joking? Then hell with you.

Not really. Good luck and hope you get a job that's interesting and with good people.

Thanks propita, there is something out there. It just needs to find me

 

[RJDiogenes]

Have you thought of staging a coup?

 

[ThunderAeroI]

In my line of work applications are the formality done after the inperson interview. Most jobs you will never fill out an application you may complete an online application every so often but its rare.

For me the phone interview is no big deal and I don't worry about it. the in person interview in more of a problem but I deal with it. I get asked all sorts of crazy questions my most recent interview was with a republican who wasn't shy about his feelings. That didn't go well

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Have you thought of staging a coup?

I don't seek power ~ All I desire is just an easy joshing relationship with customers, a little curled spring onion on the garnish for a surprise, a little Vivaldi to inspire baking and fellow workers who reallise it is just a cafe not bloody NATO headquarters. There is no need for laminated instructions, but there is a need for multi-flavoured cookies and maracas! But that's just how I feel

In my line of work applications are the formality done after the inperson interview. Most jobs you will never fill out an application you may complete an online application every so often but its rare.

For me the phone interview is no big deal and I don't worry about it. the in person interview in more of a problem but I deal with it. I get asked all sorts of crazy questions my most recent interview was with a republican who wasn't shy about his feelings. That didn't go well

I'm more comfortable talking face to fae with people as I rely on body language to take the edge of what could come across on paper as bs/eccentricity, whatever.

In one interview I was asked my strengths and weaknesses. For weaknesses I said Mars Bars. I was offered the job! But it was security at an airport and I knew full well my true weakness was stopping people and looking hard! ~ I'm only half Klingon!

 

[Mary Ann]

Hey, it's their loss, K'Eh. Also, your current boss could do with a good thwacking from the Humour Fairy. Hope something better comes your way soon.

BTW at what airport was that security job? I can so see you giving rude passengers at Heathrow or Gatwick a hard time with a smile on your face and a twinkle in your eye!

 

[scotpens]

i had a question like that on the application i did last week 'how do you think your friends would describe you?'

shit, i dunno. a sad bastard Trekkie geek who likes comic books, Transformers and collects GI Joe toys even though he's 33 plays too much Modern Warfare 2 and how the fuck he ever got laid is anyone's guess.

You’re our man!

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgfpJWUYgbg[/yt]

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Hey, it's their loss, K'Eh. Also, your current boss could do with a good thwacking from the Humour Fairy. Hope something better comes your way soon.

BTW at what airport was that security job? I can so see you giving rude passengers at Heathrow or Gatwick a hard time with a smile on your face and a twinkle in your eye!

macloudt you are so right with the 'thwacking from the humour fairy', she has no joy in her at all.

And it was Gatwick. It was years ago that I applied ~ now with my age, attitude and cynicism I could totally rock that job

i had a question like that on the application i did last week 'how do you think your friends would describe you?'

shit, i dunno. a sad bastard Trekkie geek who likes comic books, Transformers and collects GI Joe toys even though he's 33 plays too much Modern Warfare 2 and how the fuck he ever got laid is anyone's guess.

You’re our man!

To be blunt ~ that is hillarious! Thank you for making my hangover easier to deal with

^applies to previous post for some reason it did not copy ~ it could be the cat on the keyboard or teh fact I'm drinking pink fizz at 12.30?? Who knows??

 

[Captain Shaw]

It could be that you where perfect for the job but they wanted someone who they could pay the lowest minimum wage too.

 

[Myasishchev]

I think when those types of questions are asked the employer is definitely not looking for a creative type. Seems like they should be worried about whether you are honest, reliable and able to keep the orders straight, not whether you can write the next award selling novel. I can almost hear you grinding your teeth through my monitor!

No shit. I'm convinced they're just an extra screening mechanism no one actually reads.

I was trying to get a summer job a few years back at Blockbuster and had to complete a questionnaire that was something along the lines of 70 fucking questions long. FOR BLOCKBUSTER.

Most of the applications I've been doing lately have been government positions, which have reasonably long questionnaires as well, but they ask pertinent questions and provide the same list of choices each time, so you can speed through them accurately.

By contrast, these screening mechanisms mix up the choices and ask you insufferable shit like "Do you like to steal?" or "What change do you give someone for $6.53 when they pay with a twenty?"

I was trying for a shit job at a local business here--got an interview but I was nixed because I probably looked like I was going to puke when she said the position paid $7.40 an hour and I have a fucking. law. degree. Before the Goddamn interview--and before that bombshell, mind you--I had to take a half hour long appliants' test to prove I could read and count. Fucking unbelievable.

This post got a little out of hand. In short, I hope we get hit by a fucking meteor.

 

[Mary Ann]

^It can get ridiculous, can't it? When I moved to England in '95 I'd just graduated with an Honours Bachelor degree but couldn't find a job in my field, so I started applying at the local nursing homes just to have some money coming in. The first place I applied to said they'd love to take me but they were concerned about my level of education and that I'd quit their place if I found something better, to which I wanted to shout "If I could find a bloody decent job do you think I'd even be here!?"

The next nursing home I applied to hired me, and I can honestly say that I've never had to work so hard for so little money. Lesson learned.