Good grief, has it been two years?
Where does the time go?
Mallory was a great guy.
I went to your thread and he posted just after your post about your sister passing. Strange that he has been gone now for awhile.
In Memory Of...
- Thread starter thestrangequark
- Start date
I went to your thread and he posted just after your post about your sister passing. Strange that he has been gone now for awhile.
First, I want to say that while I have been reading this thread from the start, it has been difficult for me to get to the point where I felt like writing something.
First of all, the timing of this thread is fortuitous for me, as the one year anniversary of my Dad's passing is coming up on Dec 2nd. While I am in a much better place than I was in 11 months ago, I am finding that, with the anniversary approaching, I am thinking of him more and more. I suppose that this is a natural thing, but it is not something that I was prepared for.
The last few years of Dad's life were not easy by any means. He averaged three hospital stays a year from 2006 onwards, and between the hospital stays and rehab facilities afterward, each stay ran about a month or so.
He maintained his rather....unique sense of humor up until almost the end. He'd crack a one liner or bad pun just to watch you groan. I was recently reminded also that he kept very much abreast of what was happening at his alma mater (and would pass their sports scores on to anyone interested).
And, lest I paint a rose colored picture of the man, he had his paults too. he could be extremely manipulative and self centered, especially with my mother. There was only one way of doing something, his way. It didn't matter if it was right or wrong or if there were 4,000 different ways of doing something. If it wasn't his way, it was wrong.
I'd like to share just one more quick little story. In 2008, he asked me to take him to his brother's third wedding. When he told me the name of the town, I agreed with one condition. There is a small, but well regarded railroad museum in this town with a rather unique fund-raising idea. For a set fee, they would rent you a locomotive, complete with the crew, and allow you to operate it with supervision. I told dad that if we went, we would have to spend a day at this museum and I would "rent" a locomotive.
Since Dad was restricted to a wheelchair, I set things up for myself to be the only one of us on the locomotive. On the morning after the wedding, we arrived at the museum a couple of hours before my appointed time in order to tour the facility. Since the facilities parking area is gravel, we had a difficult time maneuvering Dad's wheelchair up to the building. After we got to the building, I went back to the car for something. Meanwhile, one of the museum's volunteer's had seen Dad in the wheelchair, and brought a gof cart to him. She then proceeded to give us a guided tour of the museum. When the time came for me to board the locomotive, she called her husband over, and between the engineer, the tour guide, her husband, and myself we managed to get Dad onto the locomotive. Then we took a couple of pictures.
Afterward, when I had the pictures developed, I took four of the photos down and had them framed and matted for him for Christmas. when he opened them on Christmas day, my mother took one look at them and promptly told me that she had only seen that look on his face once....when the doctor had handed him my youngest brother in the delivery room.
First of all, the timing of this thread is fortuitous for me, as the one year anniversary of my Dad's passing is coming up on Dec 2nd. While I am in a much better place than I was in 11 months ago, I am finding that, with the anniversary approaching, I am thinking of him more and more. I suppose that this is a natural thing, but it is not something that I was prepared for.
The last few years of Dad's life were not easy by any means. He averaged three hospital stays a year from 2006 onwards, and between the hospital stays and rehab facilities afterward, each stay ran about a month or so.
He maintained his rather....unique sense of humor up until almost the end. He'd crack a one liner or bad pun just to watch you groan. I was recently reminded also that he kept very much abreast of what was happening at his alma mater (and would pass their sports scores on to anyone interested).
And, lest I paint a rose colored picture of the man, he had his paults too. he could be extremely manipulative and self centered, especially with my mother. There was only one way of doing something, his way. It didn't matter if it was right or wrong or if there were 4,000 different ways of doing something. If it wasn't his way, it was wrong.
I'd like to share just one more quick little story. In 2008, he asked me to take him to his brother's third wedding. When he told me the name of the town, I agreed with one condition. There is a small, but well regarded railroad museum in this town with a rather unique fund-raising idea. For a set fee, they would rent you a locomotive, complete with the crew, and allow you to operate it with supervision. I told dad that if we went, we would have to spend a day at this museum and I would "rent" a locomotive.
Since Dad was restricted to a wheelchair, I set things up for myself to be the only one of us on the locomotive. On the morning after the wedding, we arrived at the museum a couple of hours before my appointed time in order to tour the facility. Since the facilities parking area is gravel, we had a difficult time maneuvering Dad's wheelchair up to the building. After we got to the building, I went back to the car for something. Meanwhile, one of the museum's volunteer's had seen Dad in the wheelchair, and brought a gof cart to him. She then proceeded to give us a guided tour of the museum. When the time came for me to board the locomotive, she called her husband over, and between the engineer, the tour guide, her husband, and myself we managed to get Dad onto the locomotive. Then we took a couple of pictures.
Afterward, when I had the pictures developed, I took four of the photos down and had them framed and matted for him for Christmas. when he opened them on Christmas day, my mother took one look at them and promptly told me that she had only seen that look on his face once....when the doctor had handed him my youngest brother in the delivery room.
It's not exactly that I've lost someone (I've lost many people in my lifetime), but I am slowly losing someone, or rather two people, and it's very difficult. It's drawn out instead of all at once, and that is almost more difficult than a sudden death.
I have two grandmothers that I am very close with. One of them has end-stage emphysema and is very ill. I am worried she won't be around much longer. The other has Alzheimer's, which is almost worse in a way, because she is slowly turning into a complete stranger. I am so scared to call her, because there will come a day where she won't remember who I am, and that is so terrifying to me.
Ah, I'm trying not to dwell on this right now. Trying to focus on Trek.
I have two grandmothers that I am very close with. One of them has end-stage emphysema and is very ill. I am worried she won't be around much longer. The other has Alzheimer's, which is almost worse in a way, because she is slowly turning into a complete stranger. I am so scared to call her, because there will come a day where she won't remember who I am, and that is so terrifying to me.
Ah, I'm trying not to dwell on this right now. Trying to focus on Trek.
My sister Nancy (1963-2012) just passed after an 11-month battle with stage four lung cancer. Her diagnosis was a shock to our entire family. She never smoked a day in her life. She had been sick the previous three years, but the doctors missed the cancer in her lung. It was found in an x-ray in a chiropractor's office after my sister complained of her ribs hurting. The tumor had burst through her lung and had broken two of her ribs.
The cancer had already matasticized, and was in her liver, brain and hip. Despite all this, the doctors were cautiously optimistic. And after a couple of operations, radiation and chemotherapy, Nancy was beating it. But by February, the chemotherapy stopped working, and the cancer returned with a vengeance. By April, she was transferred to hospice, given two months. She passed away two weeks later surrounded by her family and my mom and dad.
I miss her dearly. She was my big sister, and always a part of my life. She was a wonderful violinist, teacher, Christian, wife and mother. And losing a sibling difficult, especially if your parents are still alive. Watching my folks dealing with this has been heartbreaking. It's as if they have aged 10 years overnight.
The cancer had already matasticized, and was in her liver, brain and hip. Despite all this, the doctors were cautiously optimistic. And after a couple of operations, radiation and chemotherapy, Nancy was beating it. But by February, the chemotherapy stopped working, and the cancer returned with a vengeance. By April, she was transferred to hospice, given two months. She passed away two weeks later surrounded by her family and my mom and dad.
I miss her dearly. She was my big sister, and always a part of my life. She was a wonderful violinist, teacher, Christian, wife and mother. And losing a sibling difficult, especially if your parents are still alive. Watching my folks dealing with this has been heartbreaking. It's as if they have aged 10 years overnight.
My mom also had a miscarriage in 1972 or '73, at least a year before I was born. They named the infant Carmela.
^Captain Ice, that was a wonderful anecdote! Thanks for sharing! Your dad looks absolutely delighted in the 2nd pic 
My co-worker and friend "KB" passed away last night following a six-month battle with cancer. She was one of the nicest women I've ever met. She was always very quiet, sweet, thoughtful, and as the team lead in her section, she was very efficient and hardworking. The accounting department lost a friend and valued member today, but we will always remember the happy times we shared with KB.
Rest in peace.
Rest in peace.
This past june my childhood friend (i've known him since i was about 11) passed away in an electrocution accident while on back packing trip out in Switzerland. He was honestly one of the nicest people I have ever met. It was such a shame too, he had so much ahead of him. A few years back he was drafted into the NHL and was just getting his career going.
RIP Bryan <3
RIP Bryan <3
My best friend Bob, whom I've known since eighth grade, died of a brain aneurysm a few years ago. 
^Captain Ice, that was a wonderful anecdote! Thanks for sharing! Your dad looks absolutely delighted in the 2nd pic
Ditto! You are a good son! I'm not religious, but if there are blessings to be had for being a good son, you got a ton of them!
Your bit about the bad jokes...is that a dad thing? My Dad used to do that, too. And laugh at them with this funny laugh and expression. I can see it now. **tears up**
In memory of Molly, my longtime cat companion who passed away suddenly a few evenings ago after what I'd like to think and hope was a very happy life with myself and my family.
Rest in peace, baby. You were a pink-nosed little doll and we loved you so much.
Rest in peace, baby. You were a pink-nosed little doll and we loved you so much.
I lost my sister Susie in September of 2011. It wasn't totally unexpected, but it was shocking to me nonetheless.
It's one thing when someone older passes, like a grandma or something, but when you lose a sibling, mortality stares you right in the face.
Her last few years weren't easy, as she was mentally ill. It was hard on everyone, including her. She kind of lost the will to live after the death of her youngest daughter a few years before.
As you get older, so many go. I miss my grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles, cousins, school friends and just people I know.
I think about them at different times of the year. Grandma, I miss most at Thanksgiving. Susie was born in November, so I think of her more then.
My latest loss is that of a friend last September. He was only 2 years older than I but bad diabetes coupled with alcoholism did him in.
Middle age is when the sins of one's youth can catch up with one. Drinking - bad eating - the body can only take so much.
I've had a good life and part of it was due to these people now gone. They are gone from the earth, but until the day I draw my last breath, they are in my memories and in my heart.
It's one thing when someone older passes, like a grandma or something, but when you lose a sibling, mortality stares you right in the face.
Her last few years weren't easy, as she was mentally ill. It was hard on everyone, including her. She kind of lost the will to live after the death of her youngest daughter a few years before.
As you get older, so many go. I miss my grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles, cousins, school friends and just people I know.
I think about them at different times of the year. Grandma, I miss most at Thanksgiving. Susie was born in November, so I think of her more then.
My latest loss is that of a friend last September. He was only 2 years older than I but bad diabetes coupled with alcoholism did him in.
Middle age is when the sins of one's youth can catch up with one. Drinking - bad eating - the body can only take so much.
I've had a good life and part of it was due to these people now gone. They are gone from the earth, but until the day I draw my last breath, they are in my memories and in my heart.
But now you have us! And it'll be a while till we go
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