I'm so sad I could vomit

[RJDiogenes]

As others have said, this is pretty normal. In fact, even this unpleasant part of the experience is good for you, since it's teaching you something about your own feelings. Just carry on with your plans and see what happens. If you don't like it, pack up all your cares and woes and go back.

 

[RoJoHen]

Do you have any childhood friends in the area you could look up?

The answer to this is: Maybe. I know a lot of people that continue to exist in this area, but I never really talk to them or know where exactly they live. I might have to hunt some down at some point.


All right, a minor update:

I just decided to drive around for the last couple hours and get myself reacquainted with the area. It definitely helped my mood. I forgot how much stuff there is around here.

Unfortunately, I think my apartment is the most disappointing part of all this. The apartment itself is okay, but it's definitely in the crappier part of town (having not seen the nicer part of town last night may have contributed to my bad mood).

I'm still sad, but I'll be okay. I just never really see this place being Home.

 

[trampledamage]

This place not being Home might turn out to be a good thing, since this job is just the first step in building your career, you are likely to be moving again soon - so it'll be easier then.

Two and a half hours drive is nothing to go visit people - you can do it as a day trip even. Don't get hung up on the idea it's a long way and you need to take a lot of time on the visit. Go see your god-children for the afternoon

 

[The Sneeze Police]

I can relate. A couple of years ago, my job sent me about 5-6 hours from home for about 5 months. I have made major moves at least 6 times during my adult life, and I had rarely been homesick in the past, but those 5-6 months were the longest I had ever endured because of the homesickness.

I know that you know that what you are feeling is normal and it will pass as you start work, make friends and settle in. At least you have your friends here on the BBS to keep you in company!

Who knows what this new town will bring? Maybe you'll meet your soulmate, find a new best friend, a new passion? Good luck to you and try to enjoy the good things about the changes.

 

[Kestra]

I know it's difficult and change is never easy for some, but you did want a change in your life. Try to remember that. You may have been happy where you were before in a moment-to-moment sort of way, but that wasn't going to last forever.

You'll make new friends, you can still visit occasionally with the old ones, and you'll start forming new priorities in life. I hope the transition isn't too rough.

 

[Ethros]

This thread makes me think of this song-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYkkp-0xjQE

Yeah man, just give it time

 

[Kestra]

Oh also, hugs! I hate to think of you being that sad.

 

[RoJoHen]

Thanks. The lack of goodbyes definitely got to me. My friends and I are big huggers, so when there was no hug at the end, it made it really hard to leave.

 

[sidious618]

Don't feel too bad! I know that you'll see your friends often enough, if anything this experience will make you gutys closer. Use the phone and email, too, to keep in contact.

Also, you'll make some new friends in your new location and meet some new hot chicks (or guys if that's what you're into) which is good as well.

 

[Lindley]

Do you have any childhood friends in the area you could look up?

The answer to this is: Maybe. I know a lot of people that continue to exist in this area, but I never really talk to them or know where exactly they live. I might have to hunt some down at some point.

That's what Facebook is for. Or was, anyway, before all the silly apps corrupted it.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Be a man RoJo ~ you made the decision, you made the move.
Good, excellent and you know it's for the better.

Quit with the wavering. Embrace the fact that you actually got off your arse and did something.

Look in the mirror and tell yourself...
"I am an intelligent, charming, good looking guy.
I've got this far,
I am confident and capable,
I can do anything I want to,
Why am I doubting myself, when I know I can fucking do it?
And why am I talking to myself?"

Go Boy.
Best of luck,
Just smile and you'll have them in the palm of your hand.
Sk'eh
X

 

[Gryffindorian]

So, really, you're just going through a perfectly normal phase. Don't worry about it.

Yeah, I'm sure it's normal. It's just never happened to me before.

I never get this emotional about anything. It's a bit of a shock.

Rojo, a lot of it could be stress-related, too. I know. I moved twice in the past year (following a foreclosure), but things are much better now. In any case, home is where the heart is (whether it's a shitty apartment or a 20-bedroom mansion). Your decision to move as a result of a better job offer is hardly questionable. Hopefully, you'll stay in touch with your friends and meet new ones.

 

[ALF]

Try and focus on the more positive aspects and challenges to all this... there are a lot of good things that could come out of this.
New experiences, new friends. And so many are in a dire situation these days that don't even have a job!
You seem like you have options and resources... you'll be fine.

The first day I moved to Japan I nearly has a panic attack. It was so muggy and sweltering, I saw a cockroach for the first time in my apartment and there was a slight tremor that night and the 10th floor was shaking all about... It was terrifying. But in the months and years that followed I never quite had that anxiety ever again.

 

[Ashu]

At least it's close enough you can still visit regularly, if you feel so inclined. It's not the end of the world!

Yeah, 2.5 hours isnt too bad. I mean it still kind of sucks and everything but at least its smarter than what I did. I moved a 36 hour drive away from everyone.

 

[Yoda]

Seriously? 2.5 hours? That's not that much of a move. I'll second the 'man up' sentiment. Drive 'home' every weekend if you really want to.

Yeah, 2.5 hours isnt too bad. I mean it still kind of sucks and everything but at least its smarter than what I did. I moved a 36 hour drive away from everyone.

D'oh, I think you have me beat. Google maps says my move was ~2,200 miles, and 33 hours estimated driving time.

 

[Goji]

I moved around frequently when I was younger, and usually quite a ways from where I was living. From Seattle to San Francisco, and many places in between. So I am definitely familiar with what you're going through. But I think going through so many moves as a child somewhat desensitized me to the whole thing. I will probably be moving again very shortly, and I don't dread it. Maybe I will when it actually starts happening, but still. I think I used up my allotment of homesickness years ago. I wish you the best in going through this.

 

[Ashu]

Seriously? 2.5 hours? That's not that much of a move. I'll second the 'man up' sentiment. Drive 'home' every weekend if you really want to.

Yeah, 2.5 hours isnt too bad. I mean it still kind of sucks and everything but at least its smarter than what I did. I moved a 36 hour drive away from everyone.

D'oh, I think you have me beat. Google maps says my move was ~2,200 miles, and 33 hours estimated driving time.

It also depends on how fast you drive though. Some people tend to be slower than others. =)

 

[Yoda]

It also depends on how fast you drive though. Some people tend to be slower than others. =)

True, but when it's 2,200 miles my thought was the faster the better... by my math going 80mph vs 70mph would save about 4 hours of driving. Mind numbing driving. Vast swaths of unpopulated land. Radio stations fading into nothing but static. The same 6 CDs I thought I wouldn't get tired of driving me insane. Man, these memories are starting to get traumatic!

 

[Captain Ice]

Your homesickness feeling is not at all unusual. To be quite honest, I was kind of expecting this. You changed every aspect or almost every aspect of your day-to-day life.

How far along are you on the unpacking? It may seem kind of strange to you, but the farther that you get in unpacking, the more the new place will seem like home, and the better you'll feel about the move.

Also, since I'm assuming you're posting from home and not the library, take a few minutes and use the web to look up local groups where you have a shared interest. If you like to dance, look up a local place to get lessons. Search for your hobbies and local groups that support them (for example - local SCA groups or model railroading groups). That's how I found the local Trek and model railroading clubs when I moved to Vegas

Do you go to church? If so, find an interesting local church and commit to attending there regularly for a month or so, as well as going to some of their activities.

 

[Joshua Howard]

Logic, Logic, Logic... Remember that you feelings are irrelevant, and just focus on the facts. It makes things easier.

When I moved for the first time, I was quite overwhelmed. I felt spread thin without anything familiar to fall back on. Heck, I didn't even have a proper bed to sleep on.

As I remember, I had been up all night working graveyard shift; then I packed a load of stuff and went to my new place (about a 40 minute drive) and found myself wandering around like a zombie in the middle of a summer afternoon in a strange house with no curtains and the sun glaring in, after about 35 hours without sleep. At that moment, I felt REALLY REALLY strong emotions which were telling me that the whole concept of moving was a huge blunder. (In retrospect, it was not. It actually was necessary.)

It took me a while to get settled in, but soon the newness wore off and everything was once again comfortingly monotonous and boring. (It probably took about 90 days before things felt "normal" again.)

In more recent times, I had to move again. It wasn't overly traumatic the second time around; just a pain. Nevertheless, anytime you change houses, it takes at least some getting used to. One tip: find some DVD's that you watch all the time and are familiar with. If you don't have to do anything, sit and watch them. It will help distract you from the newness of your surroundings and help create a mental interface which connects your current situation with your previous one via a common similarity.

Good luck settling in.