Lets keep one key directive: That the movie is a prequel to TOS. (A real fan produced movie would be some laughable bullshit like "Bring Back Kirk.")
Star Trek would be called "Star Trek XI: The SOMETHING of SOMETHING"
Matt Damon would be Kirk
Adrian Brody would be Spock
Gary Sinise would be McCoy
Chris Doohan would be Scotty
Masi Oka (Hiro from Heroes) would be Sulu
Zac Efron would be Chekov
Beyonce Knowles as Uhura
The starship Enterprise would look exactly as it did in the 1960s TV show
The bad guys would be time traveling Borgified agents of Section 31.
Kirk and Seven of Nine from the future would come back to help the young crew save the day.
Approximately 1/4th of the film's dialog would be meaningless technobabble.
2/4ths of the film would be references or cameos of:
Balok
The Gorn
President Archer
Finnegan
Tuvok or Saavik being born
Ambassador T'Pol
Daedalus class ships being retired
Long range sensors showing a Twelfth Power energy cloud approaching Earth, but won't reach Earth for 20 years.
Drawing board engineering drawings of a "transwarp engine: PROJECT X-L-C-R"
Mugatu
Maurice Picard in baby incubator next to Peter Preston and David Marcus
Spacedock being built
USS Kongo is also launched
--------------------------------------
Kirk encrypts the Kobayashi Maru simulator after hacking it, and using the password "Desilu"
Seven of Nine makes out with young Kirk. She turns out being the real mother of David Marcus. Her pregnancy lasts two days, because of Borg nanoprobes rapidly growing the child. David Marcus is then brought back to life in a novel, because after the Klingon "killed" him in Star Trek III, his nanoprobes rejuvinated him, and he opened up a PORTAL to escape the Genesis planet.
See, this is how Seven of Nine knows to go back in time, because David "Borg" Marcus tells her in the future. BUT THE FUTURE IS DIFFERENT, so she and old Kirk have to go back in time to fix everything... Like First Contact.
1/4th of the movie will be shots of the (model) Enterprise.
Oh yeah, since it's PRE-TOS it would be NX-1701.
And... Captain April would be in command. Commander Pike the first officer. April gets killed when a Borg phaser strike throws him out of his chair. Then Pike retreats, and some title text comes up on screen that says, "One minute after the end of "THE CAGE"" Commander Kirk comes on board, "Red alert! Them CYBORGS are back!" (Because they can't say BORG on screen) A borg phaser hits the bridge, making Pike retarded, and Kirk takes command.
Kirk then says, "FIRE" to the camera, and you see a closeup of Chekov's finger as he fires a volley of 400 (yes 400) TRANSPHASIC PHOTON INVERSE QUANTUM PHASIC TORPEDOES which destroys the Borg ship.
Then Seven of Nine, Old Kirk, and David "Borg" Marcus come onto the bridge and say, "Glad we could be of service. Seeya." And they BEAM to the future.
Matt Damon says, "Thanks. I'm glad you could come here and do nothing important, but appear on screen."
And the movie ends with a promo for new Shatnerverse novels.
BUDGET: $50M
GROSS INTERNATIONAL INCOME: $28M
STAR TREK: OFFICIALLY DEAD FOREVER.
IN OTHER WORDS...
THANK GOD FOR JJ.
Star Trek would be called "Star Trek XI: The SOMETHING of SOMETHING"
Matt Damon would be Kirk
Adrian Brody would be Spock
Gary Sinise would be McCoy
Chris Doohan would be Scotty
Masi Oka (Hiro from Heroes) would be Sulu
Zac Efron would be Chekov
Beyonce Knowles as Uhura
The starship Enterprise would look exactly as it did in the 1960s TV show
The bad guys would be time traveling Borgified agents of Section 31.
Kirk and Seven of Nine from the future would come back to help the young crew save the day.
Approximately 1/4th of the film's dialog would be meaningless technobabble.
2/4ths of the film would be references or cameos of:
Balok
The Gorn
President Archer
Finnegan
Tuvok or Saavik being born
Ambassador T'Pol
Daedalus class ships being retired
Long range sensors showing a Twelfth Power energy cloud approaching Earth, but won't reach Earth for 20 years.
Drawing board engineering drawings of a "transwarp engine: PROJECT X-L-C-R"
Mugatu
Maurice Picard in baby incubator next to Peter Preston and David Marcus
Spacedock being built
USS Kongo is also launched
--------------------------------------
Kirk encrypts the Kobayashi Maru simulator after hacking it, and using the password "Desilu"
Seven of Nine makes out with young Kirk. She turns out being the real mother of David Marcus. Her pregnancy lasts two days, because of Borg nanoprobes rapidly growing the child. David Marcus is then brought back to life in a novel, because after the Klingon "killed" him in Star Trek III, his nanoprobes rejuvinated him, and he opened up a PORTAL to escape the Genesis planet.
See, this is how Seven of Nine knows to go back in time, because David "Borg" Marcus tells her in the future. BUT THE FUTURE IS DIFFERENT, so she and old Kirk have to go back in time to fix everything... Like First Contact.
1/4th of the movie will be shots of the (model) Enterprise.
Oh yeah, since it's PRE-TOS it would be NX-1701.
And... Captain April would be in command. Commander Pike the first officer. April gets killed when a Borg phaser strike throws him out of his chair. Then Pike retreats, and some title text comes up on screen that says, "One minute after the end of "THE CAGE"" Commander Kirk comes on board, "Red alert! Them CYBORGS are back!" (Because they can't say BORG on screen) A borg phaser hits the bridge, making Pike retarded, and Kirk takes command.
Kirk then says, "FIRE" to the camera, and you see a closeup of Chekov's finger as he fires a volley of 400 (yes 400) TRANSPHASIC PHOTON INVERSE QUANTUM PHASIC TORPEDOES which destroys the Borg ship.
Then Seven of Nine, Old Kirk, and David "Borg" Marcus come onto the bridge and say, "Glad we could be of service. Seeya." And they BEAM to the future.
Matt Damon says, "Thanks. I'm glad you could come here and do nothing important, but appear on screen."
And the movie ends with a promo for new Shatnerverse novels.
BUDGET: $50M
GROSS INTERNATIONAL INCOME: $28M
STAR TREK: OFFICIALLY DEAD FOREVER.
IN OTHER WORDS...
THANK GOD FOR JJ.
