Ideal family size
- Thread starter Miss Chicken
- Start date
The ideal? For me? None.For others? Whatever they want, I guess.
That's not a very popular stance when it comes to the ladies my friend. Most of em wanna hear that you want to procreate...could be a dealbreaker my dear.
It's not a terribly unpopular stance with women. I'd say exactly half of my female friends are childless by choice.
Having children seems to be less and less important as time goes on.
Hubby and I are hoping to adopt ONE child....one child that someone soulless fuckwit couldn't be bothered to look after and either abandoned or had the child taken from them by the law.
I want to be a parent and rather than spend our entire life-saving trying to conceive, I'll take the kid who's already here NOW and needs me. But since we can't afford a lot and live in a tiny house, we'll just take ONE.
The ideal family size depends on who has the children and WHY. If you had kids because you were too stupid to use birth control, or just did it to get back at your parents---then ONE child is too many for you.
After looking at these profiles of children who are suffering--and who may have various life-long problems because their parents were total selfish DUMBASSES--makes me want to adopt DOZENS of kids, but of course, I won't. That would be equally selfish and totally unrealistic.
I can take care of ONE child, so that would be the ideal family size for me: one Dad, one Mom, one kid.
Your mileage may vary.
I want to be a parent and rather than spend our entire life-saving trying to conceive, I'll take the kid who's already here NOW and needs me. But since we can't afford a lot and live in a tiny house, we'll just take ONE.
The ideal family size depends on who has the children and WHY. If you had kids because you were too stupid to use birth control, or just did it to get back at your parents---then ONE child is too many for you.
After looking at these profiles of children who are suffering--and who may have various life-long problems because their parents were total selfish DUMBASSES--makes me want to adopt DOZENS of kids, but of course, I won't. That would be equally selfish and totally unrealistic.
I can take care of ONE child, so that would be the ideal family size for me: one Dad, one Mom, one kid.
Your mileage may vary.
I'd love to have children ... any at all, but two would probably be ideal. Of course the ideal family size depends on the family, and I don't want to bring any children into the world under my current conditions. And I really don't believe I'm quite mature enough to be a mother.
It's difficult for me to imagine a future where my family doesn't include children, though. Damn biology!
It's difficult for me to imagine a future where my family doesn't include children, though. Damn biology!
I'm in the "if you can support them, have all you want" group. While 19 kids is far too many for me, I admire the Duggar family for living the life they believe in. They are walking their talk and doing it quite well. So, I don't have a concrete ideal number per family.
I would have loved to have 4 or 6 kids (even numbers, please), but it didn't work out that way for us. The two I have were very challenging to have and are blessings to me.
Fwiw, I admire those people who know they don't want children and so actively prevent having any. I also deeply admire those people who choose to adopt a child. Children are gifts and are hard work. They deserve the best we have to give them.
I would have loved to have 4 or 6 kids (even numbers, please), but it didn't work out that way for us. The two I have were very challenging to have and are blessings to me.
Fwiw, I admire those people who know they don't want children and so actively prevent having any. I also deeply admire those people who choose to adopt a child. Children are gifts and are hard work. They deserve the best we have to give them.
I really didn't want this thread to be about how many children individual families should have, I wanted people to suggest what the average number of children per family would need to stop certain problems from developing or becoming too severe.
Should we be trying to have children at replacement level i.e zero population growth? Should we be trying to decrease the population) possibly by encouraging people to only have two children at the most? Or should we be encouraging an increase in fertility so that we don't have any serious problems caused by an ageing population?
For example, several countries have now introduced baby bonuses hoping that it will lead to an increase in births. Australia for example, pays out $5000mfor every baby born. This is because average births per women in Australia is about 1.73.
Should we be trying to have children at replacement level i.e zero population growth? Should we be trying to decrease the population) possibly by encouraging people to only have two children at the most? Or should we be encouraging an increase in fertility so that we don't have any serious problems caused by an ageing population?
For example, several countries have now introduced baby bonuses hoping that it will lead to an increase in births. Australia for example, pays out $5000mfor every baby born. This is because average births per women in Australia is about 1.73.
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As some have said they don't want the responsibility of taking care of children,that's how I feel.
I am a scientist. I plan to have thousands of my own super-powered clones, obviously.
Please, let me ad my own:
Please, let me ad my own:
I don't see what's so hard to understand. Some people don't like children and some people just don't want to give over their lives to raising children. In my case, it's both. I can't stand kids, they're noisy, filthy and constantly demanding, and the life I want to lead is not the life that people with children lead. I don't want to get up at 7 am, I don't want to clean up someone else's shit, I don't want to vacation at Disney World, I don't want to consider going out a special occasion.
You need to watch the first 10 minutes of the movie Idiocracy and then rethink that statement. Based on many people's comments about what they've seen of the Duggar family on TV, they are some serious ignorant yokels that are doing the gene pool no favors.
Exactly. People who judge others for not wanting to have children as being "selfish" irk me. I have a married friend who describes himself as having anti-social tendencies. He and his wife both are hermits and as such opted not to have children.
I myself cannot stand other parents. Most are idiots who think it's cute to just let their kids run around like little hooligans in public, and then can't understand why those same kids are uncontrollable teenagers.
LeahBoBo
Commander
You hold your son/daughter in your arms for the first time and the tune changes. I'm just sorry it took me 39 years to learn that.
Iohknow. From experience, kids are cheap to feed. It's things like diapers that are the big expenses, followed by clothing if you don't have a good support network.
And if you're trying to avoid public assistance, the US would be the worst place if you're lower to mid income. Otherwise it ain't that bad.
And if you're trying to avoid public assistance, the US would be the worst place if you're lower to mid income. Otherwise it ain't that bad.
Since when? I think they slow down in the eating department from age 6-11 and then eat damn near anything that isn't nailed down from ages 12-20.
This. I firmly admit to being selfish here. I don't want to work my ass off to make a decent living, and then have to sacrifice it all because I have a bunch of damned kids to take care of. I don't want to come home after a lousy day and deal with these annoying things getting in my way, making a mess, and demanding my full attention. I don't want to turn down social events or activities with friends because I have this nagging little thing that can't be left alone and I have no babysitter.
Maybe it's because I'm still relatively young (28), or because I'm just not in right frame of mind, or maybe this is just the way that I am... but having kids seems more like a burden than a blessing to me.
I've seen it and stand by my statement. While I don't know the Duggars personally, both my sister and father-in-law interact with members of the family on a regular basis. They are a far cry from being "serious ignorant yokels". Michelle and Jim Bob are both intelligent people who have chosen to live a Bible-centered life. Their children are well-mannered, educated, hard-working, and thoughtful, which is more than I can say for far too many American children today. The family is self-sufficient, choosing to live debt-free. They are generous to others, giving of their time, kindness, and material goods. And, they are happy. I truly do not understand the hostility toward this family.
Oh, I agree-they are all of those things and more. They leave toys lying around for you to trip over, spill liquids all over the floor/furniture, mostly don't know what "Wait just a second" means and generally affect every moment of your life in little ways and big ways. You know the worst part? My little guy is just over 3 years old and for the past three years not one single day has gone by that I didn't find myself smiling involuntarily and uncontrollably at least once. Not one day! It's reprehensible that he demands so much of my time and attention and gives so little in return.
Not everyone wants or desires to be a parent, nor is everyone a suitable parent. Those who choose not to be one shouldn't be "scolded" from people like you who come along and say, "Well, once you hold your own it all changes". Why can't you respect people for making a responsible, mature decision? I rather that than the typical welfare mother who has 3+ screaming children at home she never minds and ignores. Or the typical two-parent household that "went along with expectation or outside pressure" and had kids. You know the ones -- they are always screaming at their kids and don't instill discipline and then bitch how raising kids is so expensive.
Oh, I agree-they are all of those things and more. They leave toys lying around for you to trip over, spill liquids all over the floor/furniture, mostly don't know what "Wait just a second" means and generally affect every moment of your life in little ways and big ways. You know the worst part? My little guy is just over 3 years old and for the past three years not one single day has gone by that I didn't find myself smiling involuntarily and uncontrollably at least once. Not one day! It's reprehensible that he demands so much of my time and attention and gives so little in return.
I have owned dogs for many years of my life, but at this time I do not have any. Does this make me a bad person, because I don't want to own a dog?
Oh, I agree-they are all of those things and more. They leave toys lying around for you to trip over, spill liquids all over the floor/furniture, mostly don't know what "Wait just a second" means and generally affect every moment of your life in little ways and big ways. You know the worst part? My little guy is just over 3 years old and for the past three years not one single day has gone by that I didn't find myself smiling involuntarily and uncontrollably at least once. Not one day! It's reprehensible that he demands so much of my time and attention and gives so little in return.
And sarcasm aside, here's the problem... you assume that just because you get a lot of personal fulfillment from your kids that everyone will. Not everyone feels that way.
Personally, I'm very much on the fence. I could see myself being happy with or without kids in the future... but I would only have them if I was sure I and my theoretical wife were absolutely capable of supporting our theoretical children in all the ways they need and this extends significantly past finances. This sure as heck isn't selfish, it's responsible. Too many people have kids because they "want" to and as a result don't spend nearly the effort raising them that they should. I'd rather not have kids then do a poor job as a parent.
LeahBoBo
Commander
Oh, I agree-they are all of those things and more. They leave toys lying around for you to trip over, spill liquids all over the floor/furniture, mostly don't know what "Wait just a second" means and generally affect every moment of your life in little ways and big ways. You know the worst part? My little guy is just over 3 years old and for the past three years not one single day has gone by that I didn't find myself smiling involuntarily and uncontrollably at least once. Not one day! It's reprehensible that he demands so much of my time and attention and gives so little in return.
To each his own. You obviously want to be a parent. Some of us don't. No eye rolling required.
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