I want someone to pray to God to fix my spacebar!

[Tiberius]

GoodGod! I started thisthread because my spacebar is not working so great. I have to hit it hard for it to work. I was hoping God would listen to ya since he seems to have it in for me. I need you to hurray though because God is really pissed now.He even erased this message before I sent it so this is thesecond time I have had to type this thread.


Jason

Uh, lemme get this straight....

I'm to pray to God to get him to fix a problem he (in his omniscience) already knows about?

I suppose it could be worse. You could be praying to God to get me to pray to God to get him to fix your keyboard.

Or I could be praying to God to get him to get you to pray to him to get me to pray to him to fix your computer.

Or you could be praying to God to get him to get me to pray to him to get you to pray for me to....

Seriously, my mind just melted....

 

[JRS]

The Lords or Kobol hear my prayer:
Please repair Jaysons spacebar or direct towards him a good repairman...

 

[Squiggy]

Before the almighty and ineffable God Satan and in the presence of all Demons of Hell, who are the True and the Original gods, I squiggyfm beg of you to smite your enemies and give your humble servant Jayson a new keyboard of the damned so he may continue to spread your wrath.

Lo, and unto thee as I walk through the valley of the hidden rat, I may fear no evil for you are with me and evil is pretty wicked.

Hail Stan.

 

[backstept]

personally I'd open it up and clean the switch contacts with rubbing alcohol or something . . .

 

[RAMA]

God will probably let you go down to Walmart and buy a whole new keyboard for about $19.88.

 

[Goliath]

Hail Stan.

Stan is pleased.

 

[Goliath]

Is that supposed to be impressive?

No. The comment about a deterministic universe was supposed to be a joke. And the conjuration of Astaroth from the Grimoire of Honorius was supposed to help Jayson with his keyboard problem.

You're the one trying to pick a fight here--not me.

 

[GeorgeKirk]

Galactic Lord Xenu,

I petition thee to expel the evil Thetans from Jayson's keyboard, thus loosening the engrams that bind his spacebar. To back up this petition, I will donate 3.5 quadrillion quatloos to the Church of Scientology. You may never have heard of quatloos, but don't worry. They're just as valid a currency as Scientology is a belief system.

In the name of L. Ron Hubbard, Tom Cruise, and John Travolta,
Kyltpzyxm!

 

[Deckerd]

Hail Stan.

Stan is pleased.

I thought he did it deliberately in a post-modern, post-ironic, post-Bush-era basement-dwelling sound man sort of way.

 

[cardinal biggles]

The Lords or Kobol hear my prayer:
Please repair Jaysons spacebar or direct towards him a good repairman...

So say we all.

 

[Goliath]

Hail Stan.

Stan is pleased.

I thought he did it deliberately in a post-modern, post-ironic, post-Bush-era basement-dwelling sound man sort of way.

Stan is displeased.

 

[judge alba]

hey god or who ever your called please fix Jaysons space bar it's knackered. if not a freebie one sent to him would be good.
if that dont work then i guess we could try down stairs see if satan has a spare keyboard