Troll Scum
Cadet
One few last words from a condemned man, in where I share my feelings about how this place sucks and say "fuck you!" a lot, because someone has to.
First, there is no hope of Jimmy Bob ever returning. I've sent a letter of appeal a week ago and there has been no response from Tbonz. Judging from this and how my banned screen looked like, it's clear she doesn't of whom she shots in the head and leaves for dead. She wrote me off as a person who doesn't ever deserve an explanation.
You have been banned for the following reason:
No reason was specified.
Date the ban will be lifted: Never
It's a fucking farce, that's what it is.
I feel like I at least deserved a speficified reason, but I was not even given that. Treated like a random one-comment user and that angers me. First I was confused, now I'm just pissed.
And then PTKGirl is sad that she didn't get a hug. Well, if you're going to shoot someone in the head then don't expect for Stockholm Syndrome to have developed far enough to get a hug after that. And all those "non-model citizens" and "trolls" just hurt.
Too easily the term troll is dropped in these places. It's somewhat very orwellian. But I'm mostly angry at Tbonez (I'm purposely mis-spelling it).
To ban a man and not give him a chance to explain himself, nor even give him a specified reason... just never and no reason specified, and then not even a response to a letter of appeal. Not even a "No, go fuck yourself, okay! Ha-ha-ha, I'm the big bad bitchlord! I do whatever I wantzz!!!"
And it's this complete ignoring that makes me done with kowtowing in hopes of getting mercy. I certainly deserved more.
But the whole thing needs a closure. I want to forget and be done with this place, but I have to many bad feelings inside me, so I need to rant. However I ask you not to respond for your own safety, otherwise you'll get banned too. And I don't want any collateral damage. Just read and wait for it to be locked. And then we can all move on.
So, one last post. Something that would be a fitting finale for my thread. Something better than a ferengi episode left in hanging.
I'll definitely keep on watching. DS9 is good enough a show that one can forget himself in it, and thus forget all about the bad things it was involved in. It's probably the best Trek show ever.
A Letter from Death Row
Dear Forum,
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I had that once – health. I was happy once. I still think of the good times we spent together. They're my only comfort now. I run those days through my mind and manage what I can to resemble a smile and warm feelings inside. But it's cold inside. The soul is cold and frozen, barely feeling the life that once was.
They came for me in the night. Kicked down my door and dragged me away.
"The sentence is death. Let the trial begin."
I was judged imperfect – an unmodel citizen and a troll.
"Troll scum!" the judge hissed at me.
"But I'm not a troll."
"Of course you are. Are you not an imperfect citizen? Every imperfect citizen is a troll. Logical. And a model citizen is not a troll. But you're not a model citizen. Therefore you must be a troll. And a troll must be removed. All imperfections must be purged with fire, for with imperfections one will have chaos. And we can not have that, now can we? Take comfort in the fact that your death will contribute to the well-being of humanity and the advancement of world peace and fellowship and brotherhood of all people! Have yourself a merry little death!"
I was blind-folded. Beaten. Thrown into the dark. To await my death.
It's hard here. I'm lying on the dirt floor. Winter blowing through the cracks, my blood freezing, hands blackening... scrounging for warmth, but I cannot find it.
There are voices in the night here. A sad laughter, a desperate whimper, cries, screaming....
"Let me out! I'm sorry that I'm not a model citizen! Just let me out!" And banging sounds followed. Until a crack and a thump... a skull breaking and body falling on the ground. No one ever came for him. He was left there, his cell now his tomb.
Dreams seldom haunt this dark place. But sometimes the Dreamlord visits the damned. I've dreamt of Fiddler's Green who was a man, of a cat prophet travelling around the world and preaching her message of the new world, of a man called Shaxberd performing to the gentle folk under the twilight sky of Midsummer's Eve, of a black spacelord holding his dying and older son in his hands, of a man in his prime topping a mountain and then shot down into the abyss...
But the Dreamlord's gifts are like a double-edged sword. For to be in a place where the soul does need feel cold nor hunger, only to be taken away from it... is a bitter solace.
Still alive, still here.
Days pass. Or months. Or years. Can't tell anymore.
With a disturbing realization I find that my life has been nothing but a series of distractions after another. We humans distract ourselves until we die. Because it's unbearable to be alone with oneself. But it's hard to find any distractions here. One hopes for it, but there is nothing but sharp and painful waking state. Nowhere to get lost in. Hell - it's oneself.
I've been thinking of Terok Nor a lot lately. Running the events of last year back and forth in my head, trying to find any clues to what happened.
I was thinking of Kira and Shaakar. I wondered who that Viggo Mortensen look alike was. Then I remembered that he was Zorro. From a juvenile tv show, but I loved the actor. I hoped to see him again in DS9.
And Jadzia and her many Facets. I could never buy Curazon being in love with Jadzia. Just couldn't. And what they did to my Joran. I thought he was just a victim, but they now turned him into a typical evil psychopath. Painting him a troll scum and an umodel citizen – like me. I didn't like it. And yet Jadzia seemed to be for a promising year with that first episode.
And what of the final? I found it to be disappointing, the only real interesting moment being when Odo had to fight the other changeling. Odo is an epic character, he started and he finished this season.
I really loved that year. Even with Kira being chakotisized. She's now such a minor character, no presence left anymore. Perhaps I should explain what I mean by "presence", because I remember a discussion we had a lifetime ago. Kira is certainly well-developed enough, and she's had many great episodes. It's just that, unlike many other characters, she's not that present in the season as a whole. It's the small scenes in episodes throughout the season that add a lot.
But what to I keep turning back to is the newly-founded bond between Bashir and O'Brien. They certainly had a lot of presence in this season. When I think back to those good days, it's them I think of. Nice and funny moments they shared together. And it's bedazzling that they weren't this close in the beginning of the season. Now it's seems like natural. Say, hi to Bashir and O'Brien for me.
And Sisko. A plot device with a name and face, now became a being of flesh and sweat, showing what he's made of. A true inspiration. In this place I often ask mysey what would Sisko do. Unfortunately, I'm not even a quarter of a man he is.
I managed to meet Worf before I was taken away. I must say my fears had been unfounded. It's almost amazing how he is the same TNG Worf, and yet how he isn't. And I like how he doesn't fit in, screwing things up, because he still has old stupid values. Seeing old DS9 faces being obviously superior softened my original stand towards him. I wonder if Terok Nor will change him.
Jadzia is back to her worldy experienced type. I prefered the fragile and broken Jadzia, even though they didn't do much with that. I noticed how she had her eyes set on Worf from first the first meeting. So that's that then? Daddy issues resolved, and now time to put her claws on the big guy?
Kira has her best hair yet. And it was interesting to see Gal Dukat and her laugh together.
Bashir and O'Brien had their friendship tested, but I hope it gets stronger despite or because of it.
I'm still disappointed in Kassidy Yates and I think I liked my Sisko with hair more. But if given a chance, I might have grown to like it.
But I also noticed that they seemed to take a bit of pause in dealing the Dominion threat. It was all about nice small character scenes and comedy episodes now. If I had stayed on for longer, perhaps...
I have to stop now. It hurts to think of those happy days.
Coughing up blood.
I've been trying to understand why do they do this. Ever since the beginning, man has created great narratives of carving out order from chaos. The Old Testament God creating order from tohu wabohu, the primal chaos. Marduk fighting Tiamat. Roman Empire civilizing the barbarian chaos. Christian world expanding and conquering the chaotic pagan people - first saxons then wends and balts. The colonization of the America's – it's all about creating order. Conquering chaos. Spreading one's delusion about the nature of the universe on to those who don't share it. Writing them off as savages or trolls. But order's a petty and bloodthristy god. It needs sacrifices, it needs blood. It's an idol that dominates it's creator.
We're all prisoners of a farce grown out of hand. But one day even this will be replaced.
I hear footsteps nearing, keys being reached, guns being unholstered. Let them come. I'll just lie on my floor.
I'm thinking what should be my last words. Should they be "tell Tbonez to go fuck herself“? A last act of defiance, the bitter solace of a condemned man? Or should I try think of the good old days in my last moments?
We'll always have Terok Nor. Have one for me at Quark's, for the good old times. Away from the prying eyes that judge one unfairly for their bloodthirsty gods.
Sincerely yours,
Troll Scum and Non-Model Citizen, formerly known as Jimmy Bob
First, there is no hope of Jimmy Bob ever returning. I've sent a letter of appeal a week ago and there has been no response from Tbonz. Judging from this and how my banned screen looked like, it's clear she doesn't of whom she shots in the head and leaves for dead. She wrote me off as a person who doesn't ever deserve an explanation.
You have been banned for the following reason:
No reason was specified.
Date the ban will be lifted: Never
It's a fucking farce, that's what it is.
I feel like I at least deserved a speficified reason, but I was not even given that. Treated like a random one-comment user and that angers me. First I was confused, now I'm just pissed.
And then PTKGirl is sad that she didn't get a hug. Well, if you're going to shoot someone in the head then don't expect for Stockholm Syndrome to have developed far enough to get a hug after that. And all those "non-model citizens" and "trolls" just hurt.
Too easily the term troll is dropped in these places. It's somewhat very orwellian. But I'm mostly angry at Tbonez (I'm purposely mis-spelling it).
To ban a man and not give him a chance to explain himself, nor even give him a specified reason... just never and no reason specified, and then not even a response to a letter of appeal. Not even a "No, go fuck yourself, okay! Ha-ha-ha, I'm the big bad bitchlord! I do whatever I wantzz!!!"
And it's this complete ignoring that makes me done with kowtowing in hopes of getting mercy. I certainly deserved more.
But the whole thing needs a closure. I want to forget and be done with this place, but I have to many bad feelings inside me, so I need to rant. However I ask you not to respond for your own safety, otherwise you'll get banned too. And I don't want any collateral damage. Just read and wait for it to be locked. And then we can all move on.
So, one last post. Something that would be a fitting finale for my thread. Something better than a ferengi episode left in hanging.
I'll definitely keep on watching. DS9 is good enough a show that one can forget himself in it, and thus forget all about the bad things it was involved in. It's probably the best Trek show ever.
A Letter from Death Row
Dear Forum,
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I had that once – health. I was happy once. I still think of the good times we spent together. They're my only comfort now. I run those days through my mind and manage what I can to resemble a smile and warm feelings inside. But it's cold inside. The soul is cold and frozen, barely feeling the life that once was.
They came for me in the night. Kicked down my door and dragged me away.
"The sentence is death. Let the trial begin."
I was judged imperfect – an unmodel citizen and a troll.
"Troll scum!" the judge hissed at me.
"But I'm not a troll."
"Of course you are. Are you not an imperfect citizen? Every imperfect citizen is a troll. Logical. And a model citizen is not a troll. But you're not a model citizen. Therefore you must be a troll. And a troll must be removed. All imperfections must be purged with fire, for with imperfections one will have chaos. And we can not have that, now can we? Take comfort in the fact that your death will contribute to the well-being of humanity and the advancement of world peace and fellowship and brotherhood of all people! Have yourself a merry little death!"
I was blind-folded. Beaten. Thrown into the dark. To await my death.
It's hard here. I'm lying on the dirt floor. Winter blowing through the cracks, my blood freezing, hands blackening... scrounging for warmth, but I cannot find it.
There are voices in the night here. A sad laughter, a desperate whimper, cries, screaming....
"Let me out! I'm sorry that I'm not a model citizen! Just let me out!" And banging sounds followed. Until a crack and a thump... a skull breaking and body falling on the ground. No one ever came for him. He was left there, his cell now his tomb.
Dreams seldom haunt this dark place. But sometimes the Dreamlord visits the damned. I've dreamt of Fiddler's Green who was a man, of a cat prophet travelling around the world and preaching her message of the new world, of a man called Shaxberd performing to the gentle folk under the twilight sky of Midsummer's Eve, of a black spacelord holding his dying and older son in his hands, of a man in his prime topping a mountain and then shot down into the abyss...
But the Dreamlord's gifts are like a double-edged sword. For to be in a place where the soul does need feel cold nor hunger, only to be taken away from it... is a bitter solace.
Still alive, still here.
Days pass. Or months. Or years. Can't tell anymore.
With a disturbing realization I find that my life has been nothing but a series of distractions after another. We humans distract ourselves until we die. Because it's unbearable to be alone with oneself. But it's hard to find any distractions here. One hopes for it, but there is nothing but sharp and painful waking state. Nowhere to get lost in. Hell - it's oneself.
I've been thinking of Terok Nor a lot lately. Running the events of last year back and forth in my head, trying to find any clues to what happened.
I was thinking of Kira and Shaakar. I wondered who that Viggo Mortensen look alike was. Then I remembered that he was Zorro. From a juvenile tv show, but I loved the actor. I hoped to see him again in DS9.
And Jadzia and her many Facets. I could never buy Curazon being in love with Jadzia. Just couldn't. And what they did to my Joran. I thought he was just a victim, but they now turned him into a typical evil psychopath. Painting him a troll scum and an umodel citizen – like me. I didn't like it. And yet Jadzia seemed to be for a promising year with that first episode.
And what of the final? I found it to be disappointing, the only real interesting moment being when Odo had to fight the other changeling. Odo is an epic character, he started and he finished this season.
I really loved that year. Even with Kira being chakotisized. She's now such a minor character, no presence left anymore. Perhaps I should explain what I mean by "presence", because I remember a discussion we had a lifetime ago. Kira is certainly well-developed enough, and she's had many great episodes. It's just that, unlike many other characters, she's not that present in the season as a whole. It's the small scenes in episodes throughout the season that add a lot.
But what to I keep turning back to is the newly-founded bond between Bashir and O'Brien. They certainly had a lot of presence in this season. When I think back to those good days, it's them I think of. Nice and funny moments they shared together. And it's bedazzling that they weren't this close in the beginning of the season. Now it's seems like natural. Say, hi to Bashir and O'Brien for me.
And Sisko. A plot device with a name and face, now became a being of flesh and sweat, showing what he's made of. A true inspiration. In this place I often ask mysey what would Sisko do. Unfortunately, I'm not even a quarter of a man he is.
I managed to meet Worf before I was taken away. I must say my fears had been unfounded. It's almost amazing how he is the same TNG Worf, and yet how he isn't. And I like how he doesn't fit in, screwing things up, because he still has old stupid values. Seeing old DS9 faces being obviously superior softened my original stand towards him. I wonder if Terok Nor will change him.
Jadzia is back to her worldy experienced type. I prefered the fragile and broken Jadzia, even though they didn't do much with that. I noticed how she had her eyes set on Worf from first the first meeting. So that's that then? Daddy issues resolved, and now time to put her claws on the big guy?
Kira has her best hair yet. And it was interesting to see Gal Dukat and her laugh together.
Bashir and O'Brien had their friendship tested, but I hope it gets stronger despite or because of it.
I'm still disappointed in Kassidy Yates and I think I liked my Sisko with hair more. But if given a chance, I might have grown to like it.
But I also noticed that they seemed to take a bit of pause in dealing the Dominion threat. It was all about nice small character scenes and comedy episodes now. If I had stayed on for longer, perhaps...
I have to stop now. It hurts to think of those happy days.
Coughing up blood.
I've been trying to understand why do they do this. Ever since the beginning, man has created great narratives of carving out order from chaos. The Old Testament God creating order from tohu wabohu, the primal chaos. Marduk fighting Tiamat. Roman Empire civilizing the barbarian chaos. Christian world expanding and conquering the chaotic pagan people - first saxons then wends and balts. The colonization of the America's – it's all about creating order. Conquering chaos. Spreading one's delusion about the nature of the universe on to those who don't share it. Writing them off as savages or trolls. But order's a petty and bloodthristy god. It needs sacrifices, it needs blood. It's an idol that dominates it's creator.
We're all prisoners of a farce grown out of hand. But one day even this will be replaced.
I hear footsteps nearing, keys being reached, guns being unholstered. Let them come. I'll just lie on my floor.
I'm thinking what should be my last words. Should they be "tell Tbonez to go fuck herself“? A last act of defiance, the bitter solace of a condemned man? Or should I try think of the good old days in my last moments?
We'll always have Terok Nor. Have one for me at Quark's, for the good old times. Away from the prying eyes that judge one unfairly for their bloodthirsty gods.
Sincerely yours,
Troll Scum and Non-Model Citizen, formerly known as Jimmy Bob
