I Need Some Dating Advice

[Admiral Shran]

Yesterday, while flirting with a woman I know, I asked for her phone number and she gave it to me. If anybody remembers my "I Hate Myself" thread from about a year and half ago (shameless plug - http://www.trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=128007) you know that this is a huge deal for me.

So, now I need some advice on where to go on a first date. Any ideas?

 

[trekkiebaggio]

I quite like lingering dates, say meet up in the afternoon for a hot beverage then if you get on well you can go for dinner or a movie or a stroll or something.

Or a casual drink is always good.

 

[ThankQ]

First, make it not a huge thing for you

Just read a few pages from your ShamlessMcPlug thread. Since this does seem so big to you (and it's just a first date) I would suggest keeping it way simple, maybe even silly.

BOWLING.

I shit you not. Bowling.

Simple, don't have to throw down your whole loaf of bread, you can talk (can't it cinema/theater), you can move around (can't at dinner), being able to move and talk freely is a helpful freedom. Felling tied down to a chair can make you feel trapped or stuck and movies are poor date ideas I think because there is not room for a lot of interaction after you sit down with the popcorn.

 

[smiki]

^For the same reasons: skating.

Edit: Of course, if you like skating, and you know she does too. No need to put both of you in misery.

 

[ThankQ]

Good idea. Plus, if you're as poor a skater as I am, skating could allow for naturally occurring casual touching, which may chill you out a bit and could wind up helping spark a bit of chemistry. Who knows?

 

[LitmusDragon]

I like the dinner date. I think the intimacy helps. Of course I also like sitting down at a nice place and eating dinner.

 

[ParLawGod]

Great news!

Do you know anything about her? Perhaps you could plan part of your date around her interests?

Comedy club, walk through the zoo, mini golfing...doesn't have to be expensive to be a memorable date.

One piece of advice: if you're driving, don't drive like an idiot. Most women hate that

 

[Mr. B]

I like dinner at a quiet place with some sort of optional activity afterward... like going to hear a live music show. I like the bowling idea though, never tried that one.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I quite like lingering dates, say meet up in the afternoon for a hot beverage then if you get on well you can go for dinner or a movie or a stroll or something.

Or a casual drink is always good.

This!

My current girlfriend and I had our first date by just meeting for coffee at a bookstore. Granted, this was in lower Manhattan, so anything we'd want to do was close by. We wound up not having any coffee. Instead, we bounced around the city all day, going into various shops, wandering through Central Park, and then saw a show on Broadway. It was an awesome date.

I think the best way to go about it is to go in with something casual planned, but be willing to throw the plans away to do whatever comes to mind.

I don't recommend a first date consisting of just a movie or anything like that, though. Hard to get to know each other if you can't talk, right?

The advice others gave about doing something you are both interested in is also good. Just don't get totally committed to whatever you come up with--being fluid is a plus!

 

[Vendikarr]

Plan drinks and dinner. Not an overly fancy place, but not a chain like Applebys either. You want to sit and talk and get to know each other.

Plan it for early in the evening, and if after a couple of hours things are still going well, suggest a movie. Hopefully while chatting you have asked her what her favorite movies are, so you can pick something comparable.

 

[ThankQ]

I quite like lingering dates, say meet up in the afternoon for a hot beverage then if you get on well you can go for dinner or a movie or a stroll or something.

Or a casual drink is always good.

This!

My current girlfriend and I had our first date by just meeting for coffee at a bookstore. Granted, this was in lower Manhattan, so anything we'd want to do was close by. We wound up not having any coffee. Instead, we bounced around the city all day, going into various shops, wandering through Central Park, and then saw a show on Broadway. It was an awesome date.

I think the best way to go about it is to go in with something casual planned, but be willing to throw the plans away to do whatever comes to mind.

I don't recommend a first date consisting of just a movie or anything like that, though. Hard to get to know each other if you can't talk, right?

The advice others gave about doing something you are both interested in is also good. Just don't get totally committed to whatever you come up with--being fluid is a plus!

Yes, fluidity is a plusidity, but remember we're trying to get the OP on a date that begins and ends pleasantly, with pleasidity in between. All-day-dates just kind of happen. Let's not put too much pressure on the new guy. It's his first article in the paper, let's not give him 200 column inchs to fill.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I quite like lingering dates, say meet up in the afternoon for a hot beverage then if you get on well you can go for dinner or a movie or a stroll or something.

Or a casual drink is always good.

This!

My current girlfriend and I had our first date by just meeting for coffee at a bookstore. Granted, this was in lower Manhattan, so anything we'd want to do was close by. We wound up not having any coffee. Instead, we bounced around the city all day, going into various shops, wandering through Central Park, and then saw a show on Broadway. It was an awesome date.

I think the best way to go about it is to go in with something casual planned, but be willing to throw the plans away to do whatever comes to mind.

I don't recommend a first date consisting of just a movie or anything like that, though. Hard to get to know each other if you can't talk, right?

The advice others gave about doing something you are both interested in is also good. Just don't get totally committed to whatever you come up with--being fluid is a plus!

Yes, fluidity is a plusidity, but remember we're trying to get the OP on a date that begins and ends pleasantly, with pleasidity in between. All-day-dates just kind of happen. Let's not put too much pressure on the new guy. It's his first article in the paper, let's not give him 200 column inchs to fill.

Well, I would hope he would take all the advice in this thread and synthesize it into something that he thinks will work in his case. There are no hard and fast answers about dating, after all.

 

[ThankQ]

^Oh sure, I just didn't want to see him spending two days trying to come up with the perfect plan of fluidity

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

The zoo works. If you're getting along great you can talk and pay as much attention to one another as you like. If it's...awkward and unpleasant, look at the monkeys.

 

[ThankQ]

The zoo works. If you're getting along great you can talk and pay as much attention to one another as you like. If it's...awkward and unpleasant, look at the monkeys.

Just skip the sea lions who do tricks. You just don't want to be compared to that on a first date.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

The zoo works. If you're getting along great you can talk and pay as much attention to one another as you like. If it's...awkward and unpleasant, look at the monkeys.

Just skip the sea lions who do tricks. You just don't want to be compared to that on a first date.

I stay away from the elephant yard.

 

[An Officer]

Have a variety of places in mind, that way, if one isn't working/has been exhausted, you can move on to the next. Drinks in one place, dinner in another, fancy ice cream parlour for dessert, scenic stroll to cap it all off. If it isn't going well, you can excuse yourself at drinks, or at any other point thereafter. Plan the most efficient routes in your mind beforehand, so you don't have to faff about on the day. Reservations if necessary. Spend a lot of time on your appearance and grooming, believe me, it counts. Go to a proper salon rather than a quick trim, if you can.

 

[RoJoHen]

Scavenger Hunt. Make her earn your presence.

 

[ArcherFanForever]

I quite like lingering dates, say meet up in the afternoon for a hot beverage then if you get on well you can go for dinner or a movie or a stroll or something.

Or a casual drink is always good.

This!

My current girlfriend and I had our first date by just meeting for coffee at a bookstore. Granted, this was in lower Manhattan, so anything we'd want to do was close by. We wound up not having any coffee. Instead, we bounced around the city all day, going into various shops, wandering through Central Park, and then saw a show on Broadway. It was an awesome date.

I think the best way to go about it is to go in with something casual planned, but be willing to throw the plans away to do whatever comes to mind.

I don't recommend a first date consisting of just a movie or anything like that, though. Hard to get to know each other if you can't talk, right?

The advice others gave about doing something you are both interested in is also good. Just don't get totally committed to whatever you come up with--being fluid is a plus!

Meeting in a coffee shop book store is an excellent idea!

 

[Admiral Shran]

Well, tonight's the night. I'm going to call her up and ask if she wants to meet for coffee sometime. Sadly, I live in a small Ohio town, so no zoos, aquariums or places like that to go.

Wish me luck.