• Welcome! The TrekBBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans.
    If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

I like that Star Trek uses bumpy headed aliens.

And that's MY problem: the idea that there is something you can instantly tell about a person just because you know where they're from. The bumpy forehead in that case is just a proxy for any random racial/cultural sigil that identifies you as whatever-it-is-you-are, and then you are expected to look, talk, act and think a certain way or else you're not a "true Klingon" or "true Ferengi" because you don't fit the stereotype.

In fact, if you replace the species names in any of the dialog in TNG or DS9 with real ethnicities, the problem becomes pretty apparent:
QUARK: Listen, do you hear that?
BASHIR: I don't hear a thing.
QUARK: Exactly. The ambient noise level in this room is less than thirty decibels. On an average day it's sixty five. When there're Mexicans in the room, it can go as high as eighty-five.
O'BRIEN: So what you're saying is, it's quiet in here.
QUARK: Too quiet. Something is terribly wrong.
BASHIR: Like what?
QUARK: I don't know. But have you ever met a quiet Mexican before? Look how they're watching the room. It's like they're picking out targets. Where are you going?
O'BRIEN: I thought I'd ask the Mexicans what they're up to.
QUARK: Don't do that.
O'BRIEN: Why not?
QUARK: I don't want them to know we're on to them.​

Or when Worf DIRECTLY calls out Martok's wife for being the racist old hag that she clearly is:
WORF: You never told me that your wife was opposed to this marriage.
MARTOK: Sirella is a woman of strong convictions. She believes that by bringing aliens into our families we risk losing our identity as Klingons.
WORF: That is a prejudiced, xenophobic view.
MARTOK: We are Klingons, Worf. We don't embrace other cultures, we conquer them.​

IOW Martok's answer is: "So what?"

Star Trek too often hangs a lampshade on that kind of issue without actually dealing with it, so the Klingons -- more than almost anyone else -- come off as caricatures rather than fleshed-out characters. Martok and Worf are the only two who break the mold, and they only ever manage to do this by expanding OUTSIDE the parameters of "Warrior guys who love to fight."

All that really means is "Warrior guys who love to fight" doesn't actually tell you anything useful about anyone, so it's useless as a defining characteristic of the Klingons. It doesn't tell you how their economy works, how their language evolved, or anything about their music or culture. It doesn't tell you anything about their responses to pain or pleasure and, in the end, any attempt to extrapolate those things from that single characteristic wind up being silly and one-dimensional, and trying to keep that one-dimensional concept in frame is just an exercise in racist thought.

Hence my point: the defining characteristic of a Klingon Warrior is the Warrior part, not the Klingon. Since just about anybody can be a warrior, trying to reduce the Klingons AS A SPECIES to that is an artistic self-immolation Star Trek is better off avoiding in the future.


Or a black person who doesn't listen to rap, or a Mexican who isn't lazy...


Which is a BAD thing.

Because strictly speaking, any individual person is unique in some ways and typical in others. It's the combination of expected and unexpected traits that gives you a fully fleshed-out character. If the only time you add variation is for some kind of plot twist, you're pretty much undoing any world-building that MIGHT have resulted from that variation: Klingons who don't want to shoot everything are just anomalies and freaks, everyone knows True Klingons are just grumpy bikers who drink alot.


The most important thing about human nature is that humans are DYNAMIC. No two people think exactly alike, make the same choices, come from the same place or meet the same end. No two people have exactly the same perspective on what is right or wrong, and that is the source of most of our conflicts in life. How two different people struggle to make sense of the exact same event is a major characteristic of the human condition, and the choice to either seek common ground or force one viewpoint to submit unilaterally.

But the moment you start using species/race as a proxy for those viewpoints, you're already on a path to completely miss the point. Mainly because of the opportunity for common ground: you miss out on the opportunity to tell a story about the Klingon dancer who ran way from home because the local shaman (who, with 20 villagers, is chasing her across the galaxy with a bird of prey) think she's a reincarnated goddess (which, in fairness, she actually IS) and want to put her in charge of the entire county. You miss out on that story about the Ferengi mathematician who offers the theory that the only reason the Ferengi as a species are so obsessed with profit is because they're really just obsessed with MATH and they like to count things (might as well be money) and he spends the entire episode proving that you can describe just about anything, no matter how complex, if you have enough numbers. You miss out on the opportunity to show a Borg ship wander aimlessly right through the Bajor system, scan DS9, scan Bajor, scare the hell out of literally everyone, and then as it turns to leave the system, turn suddenly and attack/assimilate a shuttlecraft flown by a war criminal and then leave (turns out this particular cube had been sent here specifically because the Collective wanted to understand the concept of "Remorse").

You can't tell stories about races of people. You can only tell stories about individuals. The species your character belongs to can help you frame the background, but when you try to flatten the topography of the world you're building, that background becomes a lot less useful to successive characters.
What you say makes sense from a real world perspective but i'm not sure if it works as well in a tv show. FIrst you almost have to have the alien be a serious regular or at least a semi-regular character to invest the amount of time you would need to really explore a culture in that depth. Take the Pakled's for example. Theyare about as one not as you get but to really explore them you going need at least one character who shows up enough for the audience to get a feel for him or her and then you got to spend years to really dig deep but in the end I can't help but wonder if the Pakled's are worthy of all that investment when you got other aliens that are usually play a bigger role on the shows and that is not even counting the aliens of the week.

I think it would be a good thing to maybe cut down on alien of the week's and spend more time developing starfleet and the more important aliens but even then you still got alot of different species and human's to deal with. The upside though is that since the cliche's are already established it should be easier to start breaking from them and I hope they do that in "Discovery."

Jason
 
But even the alien who get the time and "investment" of screen time do not get a full examination. If we meet a new Klingon on screen what is some of the first things they spout off? Honor, glory and combat. Even DS9 was guilty of this fact, with Alexander Rozhenko who is demeaned, humiliated and forced to try and be "a Klingon warrior."

The Ferengi are the same way, with Zek's reforms being considered heretical across the Ferengi Alliance. This is made even more apparent when Seven of Nine in Voyager takes on the personality of different alien races, and its all the stereotypes.
 
But even the alien who get the time and "investment" of screen time do not get a full examination. If we meet a new Klingon on screen what is some of the first things they spout off? Honor, glory and combat. Even DS9 was guilty of this fact, with Alexander Rozhenko who is demeaned, humiliated and forced to try and be "a Klingon warrior."

The Ferengi are the same way, with Zek's reforms being considered heretical across the Ferengi Alliance. This is made even more apparent when Seven of Nine in Voyager takes on the personality of different alien races, and its all the stereotypes.

Some of this might but true but isn't this stuff sort of common in all tv shows? If your a business man he is always going to be greedy or uncaring or a gang member is someone who is trying to escape that lifestyle or someone who is thugish without any real human trait beyond the sterotype. COnservative's and Liberals also tend to be written towards certain sterotype's. I think the better show's do try to breakaway from these cliche's but i'm not sure if it is ever possible to move away from all together because in the end we are talking about fictional character's. Sometimes character's exist simply for plot reason's and are not really needed to be fully fleshed out individuals. Take Alexander in your example. He was only in two episode's of DS9. It's hard to convey in just two hours any real depth on why klingon's feel the need to treat him like they do. The Klingon who mocks him in the mess hall for example I am sure could have a intresting lifestory that made him become the type of person he became but more time in the episode is simply needed for Work/Martock and Alexander.

Another example would be flash in "Spiderman" who is basically the typical high school bully. I'm not sure he is needed to be fleshed out beyond that because being a bully is the sole reason form his exsitence. I guess what I am saying is that sterotype's in fiction can be helpful when it comes to the backdrop of a show because it fills in some of the missing gap's that we don't get to see because we are talking about fictional landscape's. Sci=FI shows also tend to be at a more disadvante because at least when your doing a show in a contemporary setting we are more familiar of real life diversity of opinion's and culture because we live in that world. It's not so easy when your show is set hundreds of years in the future in a enviroment that is very different from the modern world. You basically have to build a brand new world from scratch and establish certain rules and traits of that world.

Jason
 
But on modern day shows today races aren't depicted as stereotypes any longer. I've got no problem depicting all Orion Syndicate as gang members or all Section 31/Tal Shiar/Obsidian Order as sneaky and shifty. I'm tired of the entire race or species being depicted as a stereotype.

Want to depict an alien as an alien? Fine. Figure out how to do that without resorting to stereotype. Perhaps hive mind. Or herd mentality. Or preferring different temperatures or amount of sunlight. Heck, they could even be like a human with a spectrum disorder, only this is their natural state - they do not understand sarcasm or humor, they cannot stand to be touched or they must constantly touch when communicating.

Plenty of ways to depict someone, even a species, as alien without resorting to the blanket stereotype of all Klingons are warriors spouting about honor and drinking blood wine. All Romulans (or Cardassians) are shifty and secretive and will just as soon stab you in the back as look at you. All Ferengi are uber capitalists robber barons that will rob you blind and steal your fingers when you shake hands. Etc...
 
Some of this might but true but isn't this stuff sort of common in all tv shows? If your a business man he is always going to be greedy or uncaring or a gang member is someone who is trying to escape that lifestyle or someone who is thugish without any real human trait beyond the sterotype. COnservative's and Liberals also tend to be written towards certain sterotype's. I think the better show's do try to breakaway from these cliche's but i'm not sure if it is ever possible to move away from all together because in the end we are talking about fictional character's. Sometimes character's exist simply for plot reason's and are not really needed to be fully fleshed out individuals. Take Alexander in your example. He was only in two episode's of DS9. It's hard to convey in just two hours any real depth on why klingon's feel the need to treat him like they do. The Klingon who mocks him in the mess hall for example I am sure could have a intresting lifestory that made him become the type of person he became but more time in the episode is simply needed for Work/Martock and Alexander.

Another example would be flash in "Spiderman" who is basically the typical high school bully. I'm not sure he is needed to be fleshed out beyond that because being a bully is the sole reason form his exsitence. I guess what I am saying is that sterotype's in fiction can be helpful when it comes to the backdrop of a show because it fills in some of the missing gap's that we don't get to see because we are talking about fictional landscape's. Sci=FI shows also tend to be at a more disadvante because at least when your doing a show in a contemporary setting we are more familiar of real life diversity of opinion's and culture because we live in that world. It's not so easy when your show is set hundreds of years in the future in a enviroment that is very different from the modern world. You basically have to build a brand new world from scratch and establish certain rules and traits of that world.

Jason
This is what writers are for, to create believable characters. Stereotypes, even of aliens, are a shortcut in terms of writing and world creation. Fleshing out alien races, especially one as big as Klingons in Star Trek, isn't not a one or two episode bit. It's a race that's been around since the beginning, moving from a stand in for Soviets, to their own, now stereotyped, race.

The whole point of TV shows is to create engaging characters and believable characters. If the excuse is that they shouldn't have to because its creating a new world, then you'll garner no sympathy from me. That is their job.
 
I was involved in improve comedy for a brief time in my 20's. One of the points they made in the classes was that stereotypes are an important tool to use for short form story telling.

What does this mean?

It means that you can and should draw on the stereotypes people expect. Especially where it comes to things like jobs, and broad positions in society. Most "moms" are going to be portrayed as some variation of the same stock character. Same thing with plumbers or waiters or store clerks or whatever. The stereotype is already in the audience's head due to years of both cultural conditioning and observation of real life (after all, most stereotypes do have at least a grain of truth which the stereotype has grown up around). A minor character should just draw on the expected stereotype because we don't really need to know anything about him or her, other than as set dressing. Other times you can have a fairly stock character that plays very much against the type, but by doing so, you are specifically drawing attention to it. For example, your caddy at the golf course happens to be a 90 year old man. There's clearly a story there, or at least a joke.

You have to be careful with this in certain areas though, specifically race and religion. Don't rub people's noses in either of these topics unless you are ready to potentially offend some people. Now for some writers, that really is the goal. Or if not straight up pissing people off, you might get away with it by using a common stereotype to help sell a story point. (Like, for example, the time Marge Simpson was depressed and acting crazy and when two Jehovah's Witnesses came over she kept them on her couch so long that they were the ones who got uncomfortable and left. BTW, I know some JWs who find this joke HILARIOUS.)

In writing Star Trek, I would say that largely they use stereotype well. Remember that the intended method of viewing this program is one hour a week. Which makes it short form. So having the aliens (and for that matter, most humans) behaving as stock characters is perfectly acceptable, and indeed, the right choice. Casual viewers are going to see Klingons coming and, if they've watched the show in the normal civilian dosage, they'll maybe realize that something rough and tumble might be coming. The costumes and the make-up serve their story purpose well.

And we do get plenty of opportunity--especially in DS9--to see aliens who do play against their species type. But they are nearly always the main guest star, because the 90 year old caddy has a story.

As a bonus point to bring up (but I wasn't quite sure where to put it in my comments above) When people do start telling us about the stereotypes, it can get a little tedious, like for instance when the XO of the Sutherland who didn't want to work for Data in "The Best of Both Worlds" listed off all the races and the careers they'd be unsuited for. Dude sounds like a racist. But then, I think we are maybe supposed to think that dude's kind of a racist. He's equally being played to type: the casual racist who thinks he's totally justified. Though I admit the some time in the mid-90's the show really started to take this too far. Watching Voyager while the crew frequently sums people up by their species stereotype makes them all seem kinda like racists. I just have to remind myself that the writers of that show have a reputation for poor quality and ignore the stilted/uninspired/boring dialog.

--Alex
 
What, the rare mention of "Ferengi" or "Klingon"? They aren't the ones depicting those stereotypes in half their episodes
 
Timicin, from TNG's "Half a Life" did not need to be a new 1 shot alien species. He could have been one of the already established species. Hell, paint him green and make him an Orion.
Believe it or not, that was exactly one of the examples I had in mind when I was thinking about this. That episode would have worked just as well -- if not better, IMO -- if he'd belonged to an obscure sect of an already-established species or, better yet, even if he'd been human. The missing dimension in that episode was the fact that even people who are technically PART of that culture can have very strong opinions about what the expected norms might be and it isn't such a binary choice between moral relativism and moral absolutism.
 
Believe it or not, that was exactly one of the examples I had in mind when I was thinking about this. That episode would have worked just as well -- if not better, IMO -- if he'd belonged to an obscure sect of an already-established species or, better yet, even if he'd been human. The missing dimension in that episode was the fact that even people who are technically PART of that culture can have very strong opinions about what the expected norms might be and it isn't such a binary choice between moral relativism and moral absolutism.
Indeed. The idea that we need new aliens every time an issue comes up is a bit ridiculous. I get that stereotypes, especially in storytelling, is a good short hand, but it is difficult to accept that this should continue in Star Trek moving forward. Especially when the entire premise of the show was to demonstrate all human races as equal, and not stereotype their roles.
 
I never had a problem with the forehead aliens, though I admit I always liked the more elaborate designs better. That said, I wish the new series would've hired The Henson Company to do their make up and creature effects. Their work on Farscape was great and I enjoyed their use of puppetry and animatronics to display non-humanoids.
 
And that's MY problem: the idea that there is something you can instantly tell about a person just because you know where they're from. The bumpy forehead in that case is just a proxy for any random racial/cultural sigil that identifies you as whatever-it-is-you-are, and then you are expected to look, talk, act and think a certain way or else you're not a "true Klingon" or "true Ferengi" because you don't fit the stereotype.

In fact, if you replace the species names in any of the dialog in TNG or DS9 with real ethnicities, the problem becomes pretty apparent:
QUARK: Listen, do you hear that?
BASHIR: I don't hear a thing.
QUARK: Exactly. The ambient noise level in this room is less than thirty decibels. On an average day it's sixty five. When there're Mexicans in the room, it can go as high as eighty-five.
O'BRIEN: So what you're saying is, it's quiet in here.
QUARK: Too quiet. Something is terribly wrong.
BASHIR: Like what?
QUARK: I don't know. But have you ever met a quiet Mexican before? Look how they're watching the room. It's like they're picking out targets. Where are you going?
O'BRIEN: I thought I'd ask the Mexicans what they're up to.
QUARK: Don't do that.
O'BRIEN: Why not?
QUARK: I don't want them to know we're on to them.​

Or when Worf DIRECTLY calls out Martok's wife for being the racist old hag that she clearly is:
WORF: You never told me that your wife was opposed to this marriage.
MARTOK: Sirella is a woman of strong convictions. She believes that by bringing aliens into our families we risk losing our identity as Klingons.
WORF: That is a prejudiced, xenophobic view.
MARTOK: We are Klingons, Worf. We don't embrace other cultures, we conquer them.​

IOW Martok's answer is: "So what?"

Star Trek too often hangs a lampshade on that kind of issue without actually dealing with it, so the Klingons -- more than almost anyone else -- come off as caricatures rather than fleshed-out characters. Martok and Worf are the only two who break the mold, and they only ever manage to do this by expanding OUTSIDE the parameters of "Warrior guys who love to fight."

All that really means is "Warrior guys who love to fight" doesn't actually tell you anything useful about anyone, so it's useless as a defining characteristic of the Klingons. It doesn't tell you how their economy works, how their language evolved, or anything about their music or culture. It doesn't tell you anything about their responses to pain or pleasure and, in the end, any attempt to extrapolate those things from that single characteristic wind up being silly and one-dimensional, and trying to keep that one-dimensional concept in frame is just an exercise in racist thought.

Hence my point: the defining characteristic of a Klingon Warrior is the Warrior part, not the Klingon. Since just about anybody can be a warrior, trying to reduce the Klingons AS A SPECIES to that is an artistic self-immolation Star Trek is better off avoiding in the future.


Or a black person who doesn't listen to rap, or a Mexican who isn't lazy...


Which is a BAD thing.

Because strictly speaking, any individual person is unique in some ways and typical in others. It's the combination of expected and unexpected traits that gives you a fully fleshed-out character. If the only time you add variation is for some kind of plot twist, you're pretty much undoing any world-building that MIGHT have resulted from that variation: Klingons who don't want to shoot everything are just anomalies and freaks, everyone knows True Klingons are just grumpy bikers who drink alot.


The most important thing about human nature is that humans are DYNAMIC. No two people think exactly alike, make the same choices, come from the same place or meet the same end. No two people have exactly the same perspective on what is right or wrong, and that is the source of most of our conflicts in life. How two different people struggle to make sense of the exact same event is a major characteristic of the human condition, and the choice to either seek common ground or force one viewpoint to submit unilaterally.

But the moment you start using species/race as a proxy for those viewpoints, you're already on a path to completely miss the point. Mainly because of the opportunity for common ground: you miss out on the opportunity to tell a story about the Klingon dancer who ran way from home because the local shaman (who, with 20 villagers, is chasing her across the galaxy with a bird of prey) think she's a reincarnated goddess (which, in fairness, she actually IS) and want to put her in charge of the entire county. You miss out on that story about the Ferengi mathematician who offers the theory that the only reason the Ferengi as a species are so obsessed with profit is because they're really just obsessed with MATH and they like to count things (might as well be money) and he spends the entire episode proving that you can describe just about anything, no matter how complex, if you have enough numbers. You miss out on the opportunity to show a Borg ship wander aimlessly right through the Bajor system, scan DS9, scan Bajor, scare the hell out of literally everyone, and then as it turns to leave the system, turn suddenly and attack/assimilate a shuttlecraft flown by a war criminal and then leave (turns out this particular cube had been sent here specifically because the Collective wanted to understand the concept of "Remorse").

You can't tell stories about races of people. You can only tell stories about individuals. The species your character belongs to can help you frame the background, but when you try to flatten the topography of the world you're building, that background becomes a lot less useful to successive characters.
You know I wonder if aliens would consider humans flat, predictable or undynamic. Who is defining dynamic anyway? Who says their psychology would be even classes in such terms?

If everybody is as complex and dynamic a figure as Winston Churchill you can't write that. It's simply too difficult and requires way more world building than is necessary even in novels.

And quite simply not all human beings are dynamic either-some simply are flat, staid, colorless apes without hair. That's reality.
 
Also remember that Klingons and Ferengi live in a culture where there's a social penalty for not being perceived as living up to what we would call stereotypes. The scientists in Suspicions are outcasts in their own societies.

Some of the things we call stereotypes are something that the average member of a culture may or may not be proud of, and that applies to many of the alien cultures in Star Trek as so many of them are dictatorships. The idea that living up to expectations is a bad thing is also a culturally specific thing we take for granted. In that one scene in Unification that woman seems terrified that any random person would perceive her as anything but a loyal citizen.
 
You know I wonder if aliens would consider humans flat, predictable or undynamic. Who is defining dynamic anyway? Who says their psychology would be even classes in such terms?

If everybody is as complex and dynamic a figure as Winston Churchill you can't write that. It's simply too difficult and requires way more world building than is necessary even in novels.

And quite simply not all human beings are dynamic either-some simply are flat, staid, colorless apes without hair. That's reality.
And this is a fictional world designed to entertain first, and be realistic second. It's a balancing act, but these are writers who are paid to create characters for a living. Characters don't have to be like Winston Churchill to be distinct. But, defaulting to "This is how all Klingons behave so do as the Klingons do."
 
I feel like Klingons got less and less diverse as time wore on. In the episode A Matter of Honor, Riker gets served a feast of Klingon chow. They name off a whole bunch of dishes, as well as blood wine. Years later, every meal they eat is "Gagh!" and they only drink blood wine "Arrrgh 2309, the finest vintage!" Like, is there only one vineyard in the whole of Klingondom? Every Klingon joke, insult, metaphor, and axiom involves a "Targ."

They're in something like 100 episodes and just devolved, shedding dimensions along the way.

Remember the Klingons in TUC? They were eloquent and proud, with a rich culture. They eventually became dumb, dumb sugar plums. How do they maintain government? How do they keep their ships running?:shrug:

EDIT: How do they keep the lights on in their homes? Can you imagine a Klingon plumber, or electrician?
 
"Unplugging a toilet is extremely complex work. You dishonor me by questioning my prices! Defend yourself, pe'taQ!" :klingon:

Kor
 
You know I wonder if aliens would consider humans flat, predictable or undynamic. Who is defining dynamic anyway? Who says their psychology would be even classes in such terms?

If everybody is as complex and dynamic a figure as Winston Churchill you can't write that. It's simply too difficult and requires way more world building than is necessary even in novels.

And quite simply not all human beings are dynamic either-some simply are flat, staid, colorless apes without hair. That's reality.
Yes, I agree with this completely. Some humans ARE flat, staid, colorless apes without hair; there are, in fact, whole swaths of the human race whose only reason to exist is to turn foot into shit and boost Kim Kardashian's ratings.

And if that was the defining characteristic of the entire human race as depicted in Star Trek, every single one of us would be pointing out how utterly ridiculous that depiction is, because we know that there isn't one all-encompassing stereotype that defines every human being that ever lived.

So really, all things being equal, the distribution of useless/flat/shallow characters should be pretty broad across ALL alien species. More importantly, the proportion of villainous/virtuous/omnicidal/altruistic people should also be distributed widely among all species. The fictional ethnic background of each race gives a particular flare to each character, sure, but racial characteristics cannot and should not be a proxy for personality type.
 
For the most part, I don't think they are. Ignoring Ferengi and Klingons, we see many different types of Vulcans, Romulans, Trill, Bajora(sometimes), Cardassians, even Vorta & JH.

The "stereotypes" of recurring alien species, are usually cultural. Most of the aliens come from planets with a one-world government and monoculture, which is sort of a macrocosm of visiting cities or countries here on Earth. It's like "The people are so nice in Denmark" or "Parisians are rude to Americans." These statements are often true, even if a stereotype...
 
EDIT: How do they keep the lights on in their homes? Can you imagine a Klingon plumber, or electrician?
I totally can, in fact I can imagine a Klingon anything, but doing so requires chucking the "warrior race" ethos in the trash bin.

I could see Klingons as having as a characteristic a tendency to amplify everything they do, being boisterous and spirited. The Warrior Caste is an example of that tendency projected into all things military. In all other matters, I would imagine the Klingons are a people who instinctively believe that anything worth doing is worth OVERdoing. So any task they set themselves to they tend to treat it like a matter of life and death, like the entire universe is depending on their ability to out-compete everyone else who ever lived.

So your Klingon plumbers M'rio and Lu'Rigi show up at your door:

M'rio: Greetings customer! <sharp bow> I am your plumber, M'Rio, and this is my little bother Lu'Rigi. Or High Dispatcher tells me you have a clogged toilet.
Customer: Yes, you'll have a real challenge on this one. My sons tried to flush their goldfish but they decided to mummify it first. I think they used half a roll of paper towels to do it.
Lu'Rigi: Half a roll you say?
Customer: At least. And it was a huge goldfish. Easily the size of your fist. A truly GLORIOUS goldfish was Mister Bubbles!
M'Rio: Quarter to half a pound epic goldfish... half a roll of paper towels...
Lu'Rigi: You're thinking the fifty horsepower rodder?
M'Rio: No, the fifty has served us honorably all these years, but I fear it lacks the power for a task this great... <eyes begin to twinkle> Lu'Rigi, I fear that anything powerful enough to unclog those pipes may indeed destroy the piping altogether. We may be looking at a complete rebuild.
Lu'Rigi: A complete rebuild... by the gods, what a job! We could install a backflow prevention valve...
M'Rio: Anti-clog baffles, water softeners, high pressure purge lines... Oh, ma'am, have you had any flooding in your basement?
Customer: I do, quite often in fact. It gets very bad during the rainy season. But I've never installed a sump pump because I've never seen a plumber skilled enough to install one for a reasonable price.
M'Rio: <Eyes twinkling> Then we shall build you a sump pump. It will be the greatest sump pump ever installed! It shall remove fluids at a maximum rate of five liters per second while using no more energy than a toaster oven! It shall pump that water into your main sewage line at such high pressure that Mister Bubbles will break the sound barrier on his way to Sto'vokor! And I shall do all of this, plus the rebuilding of your pipes, for the flat rate fee of eight hundred and fifty five imperial!
Customer: Eight hundred and fifty five, you say? That sounds suspiciously cheap... and just how much is it going to cost me to repair your shoddy work after you leave?
Lu'Rigi: <Redfaced> She dishonors us!
M'Rio: Easy, brother... worry not, Ma'am, I assure you, you will celebrate this day. <Turning to Lu'Rigi.> Get your wrench, brother. Glory awaits!
 
Classic videogames are much more entertaining in the original Klingon.

I always thought that it made sense that most space-fairing species were Humanoid. For the M class worlds they came from. It made sense that the Humanoid form was the most efficient design form that would evolve for a carbon based sentient species. An upright standing biped with two arms and grasping hands, no tail, one head with two eyes, one mouth, two ears, limited hair. Anything more or less would either wouldn't work or be superfluous. It would be the logical evolutionary outcome.
And any silly contrivances on the face that impede eating and drinking would not exist either.
 
If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

Sign up / Register


Back
Top