I Just Found Out that it Was Just a Movie.

[Samuel T. Cogley]

Here, I had been spending many hours reading up on every little detail, researching every blurry photo, memorizing the IMDB credits for Winona Ryder, staring at thousands of fan photos of how the Enterprise should look. Hell, I know more about the "Gabe cowl" than anyone else in my office. That's got to count for something, right?

Naturally, I was hoping that all of this work was going to pay off. In the very least, I should be promoted to some higher level of existence. Some new level of Utopia. Haven't I earned it?

Then I found out it was just a movie. What the fuck?

So, I'm going to spend 500 hours and two years getting ready for this thing. And then what? I go stand in line for several hours with a bunch of bald, fat guys (and the occasional girlfriend, complete with the "You owe me big time for this, asshole" expression on her face). The guy next to me in line is going to try to impress me with everything he knows about the movie, and I'm going to be like, "Dude, I know. I'm a Star Trek fan. We all know this shit. Take a shower." I will watch the movie for two hours. And then what? Go home and commit suicide? Wait for it to come out on DVD?

Shit, that's a lot of pressure. I don't even know the difference between HD DVD and Blu-Ray. I don't think I'm even qualified to wait for it to come out on DVD.

And even if I am, then what? I buy it on DVD? Watch it two or three times. Memorize the best lines. Quote them ad nauseum here. Is any of this going to get me laid?

I have been seriously misled. The last time I put this much work into anything, I got a law degree out of it. Or a divorce judgment.

So you're telling me that I'm not going to get anything other than the same movie experience that every other asshole is going to get, even the ones who never even logged onto this website? They'll probably enjoy it more than I will, because they will never know that Harlan Ellison got all pissed off about the Guardian of Forever. Nor will they care.

There should at least be something that I could put on my resume. Like a license or something. Maybe T'Bonz could administer some kind of test. And if we pass, we get a certificate. Something I could frame and put on my wall. Something that would make chicks want to get naked when they see it.

I don't know what I was thinking.

I saw everybody getting so excited. I figured I better get in line behind them, so I don't miss anything. Now, I'm not so sure.

I mean, I have a lot of movies on my shelf. "Invasion of the Blood Farmers," for example. That didn't really change my life.

I'm just trying to figure out how all of this is going to pay off.

 

[shapeshifter]

Oh dude, that was so freeking funny I can't tell you. Thank you.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

Hell, I know more about the "Gabe cowl" than anyone else in my office.

 

[Kpnuts]

That's interesting, I found it to be Samuel T Cogley doing his usual boring 'look at me trying to be funny' routine, going way over the top, trying too hard and falling on his face once again.

zzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

That's interesting, I found it to be Samuel T Cogley doing his usual boring 'look at me trying to be funny' routine, going way over the top, trying too hard and falling on his face once again.

zzzzzzzzzzzz

Well, it would appear that there are some things that are exactly the same on vBulletin as they were on the old board.

I find that strangely comforting.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

Everyone can't "get" everything.

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

I think he's just annoyed because he knows he's going to be the guy next to me in line. A little too close to home, and all that.

 

[Woulfe]

HUMOR, it is a difficult concept....

- W -
* Smirks *

 

[ManOnTheWave]

Ha! Next you'll be saying, "It was just a TV show before..."



... God, I've wasted my life.

 

[Nowhere Man]

That's interesting, I found it to be Samuel T Cogley doing his usual boring 'look at me trying to be funny' routine, going way over the top, trying too hard and falling on his face once again.

zzzzzzzzzzzz

dido

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

dido

I liked her music. Whatever happened to her?

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

dido

I must say that I think she has a lovely voice, though her much music is rather sophorific.

Unless that was a misspelling of "dildo."

...And Sam beat me to the Dido joke by seconds, damn him.

 

[cardinal biggles]

I dunno. She's been working on her new album forever.

 

[PKTrekGirl]

That's interesting, I found it to be Samuel T Cogley doing his usual boring 'look at me trying to be funny' routine, going way over the top, trying too hard and falling on his face once again.

zzzzzzzzzzzz

Kpnuts, rather than make comments like this in every single one of his threads, why don't you simply stop opening any threads started by Cogley?

Thanks.

 

[ancient]

Given the amount of time I've sunk into this, the movie had better be at least 37 hours long, complete with naked dancing girls, my personal limo, and a shoe-shine from Abrams. And it all best not cost more than $3.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

Given the amount of time I've sunk into this, the movie had better be at least 37 hours long, complete with naked dancing girls, my personal limo, and a shoe-shine from Abrams. And it all best not cost more than $3.

I'll settle for a Big Ass somewhere in it.

 

[ancient]

I'll settle for a Big Ass somewhere in it.

Shatner isn't going to be in it.


And stop insulting him, sir.

 

[StarMan]

Naturally, I was hoping that all of this work was going to pay off. In the very least, I should be promoted to some higher level of existence.

I can only speak for myself, but I have been elevated to a higher level of existence - on philosophical and spiritual levels - due to my exposure to Roddenberry's IDIC philosophy.

But there is so much more to gain than this.

Gene has told me.

 

[GeorgeKirk]

. . . I know more about the "Gabe cowl" than anyone else in my office.

I just hope you don't know as much about the "Gabe cowl" as Gabe's wife does.

 

[section9]

I'm just trying to figure out how all of this is going to pay off.

Sam, it won't pay off for us until you come on with a new avatar with Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto in the hot tub instead of FatShat and Nimoy.